Modesty Rules? Should there be a hard fast set of rules for modesty? Click through to see!

No I don’t honestly believe that modesty rules! This post is about the traps that we can sometimes set for ourselves and others when it comes to the rules of modesty.  So many times modesty comes with a package list of rules. You may do this. You may not do this. This certain type of clothing is always considered immodest. This other type is perfectly acceptable. However, I want to challenge you to think about modesty not according to a strict list of rules, but about what is in your heart, and what works for you and your body shape.

Modesty cannot always be broken down into rules. There is no one size fits all rulebook. For example….(and some of these might sound really silly to some people).

Certain high heels could be considered immodest, while other high heels are not.

Some V shape necklines are cut really low and show off lots of cleavage, while other V necks are fine. Therefore you can’t say all V necklines are bad.

Navy Striped Cotton Skirt from Deborah and Co! Our Navy Striped Cotton Skirt – model is the lovely Olivia from Fresh Modesty.

A shorter length skirt might be totally appropriate on one person, but the same skirt might look like a mini skirt on a different person. While I think anyone who cares about modesty can agree that mini skirts are not appropriate, you can’t set a certain inch length because ladies are all different heights. One common way to determine an appropriate skirt length for yourself is to not wear skirts that come above your knees.

A fitted blouse might look ok on someone that is petite, but could look really immodest on a woman that is busty.

Some jeans are immodest no matter what (princess written on the bottom area in sparkly colored bling!). Other jeans can be paired with a modest long shirt and it not draw attention to tight fitting areas of the jeans. You can see some examples here, here, and here. Your family standard will definitely need to take precedence; some husbands/fathers feel ok with jeans paired a certain way and others don’t. I’ve seen almost a hatred in women’s hearts towards other women who profess modesty, yet wear jeans sometimes. That is definitely not a modest nor a Christlike attitude to have.

Denim Skirt, white top and pink cardigan. A  nice fall outfit!

A cute outfit for fall or spring from my Feminine Fashion Pinterest Board!

 We are all in different seasons of life. What works for one woman will not work for the next. There might be a young lady who is working as a receptionist before she gets married, but the mama of 3 children who stays home with active young children can’t wear the same outfit and be modest. It stands to reason then, that the mama of 3 should not look at the young lady and judge her outfit, just because she can’t wear it. The young lady is not bending over to pick up children all day, chasing children, sitting on the floor playing blocks, or cleaning up the kitchen. What you do everyday makes a big difference on the outfit you wear. I hear a lot of stay at home moms say it is just easier to wear a longer skirt when they are going to be with little children all day, and I tend to agree with that. I wear my shorter skirts more when I’m going out places, or in the winter months with leggings under them.

 In short, it is very difficult, if not downright impossible in some areas, to set down hard and fast rules when it comes to modesty. Because the scriptures are largely silent on many of the above issues, we should not take it upon ourselves to act as God’s mouthpiece when it comes to standards of modesty. Make no mistake, we must attempt to defend and proclaim all that the scriptures teach us concerning modesty, but we must also be oh so careful when we begin to advocate certain non scriptural standards as if they were the word of God. We would do well to remember that not only is it dangerous to teach people to do less than God’s law requires, it can be just as dangerous to teach them to do more.


7 Comments on Modesty Rules

  1. Caroline,

    Thank you for this today i really needed to hear it. My family has just left a very legalistic church and God has opened my eyes to the bondage of legalism i was in. I feel so oppressed and confused because of all the arguments i have heard against women wearing pants, jewwlry and make up. My heart is to love Jesus and bring Him glory but its so hard to break free when you feel like a wordly rebellious pagan every time you put on a pair of earrings. I really need to search the scriptures and have the Holy spirit teach me and renew my mind from the way that traditions of man were elevated to the same worth as scripture by my spiritual leaders. Your post today aws a breath of air. Thank you

  2. Yes! This is so well put! Modesty begins in the heart, though of course it is reflected in what we wear. And I totally agree that what may be modest for one is not always modest on another. And sometimes you have to look at what you look(and act) like overall. High heels may not be evil, but when paired with a straight shortish skirt and tight blouse, doesn’t tend to reflect a modest attitude at all.

  3. Good post. It definitely high lights that modesty standards are not ‘one size fits all’. To me, with having a background in the Mennonite church, I do believe that as long as your clothing is not tight tight, you are not showing what is for your husband’s eyes only, and leaving nothing for another man to form an image of what you may look like underneath and lust after you and commit sin against your husband, betrothed, boyfriend, or future husband then not only have you maintained physical modesty but also remained modest in your heart. The way girls dress these days, with everything hanging out is scandalous and disgusting. I don’t look down upon those woman and girls who don’t wear a dress/skirt and a headcovering everyday, but I do look down upon those girls who wear mini skirts and shorts whose bottoms fall out and shirts and tank tops that have ever plunging necklines. But that is all I have to say on that before I open a bucket of worms.

    • A.gentle reply–just wondering whether ‘look down on’ is what you really meant. Jesus approached the woman at the well, and on another occasion said that he who was without sin should cast the first stone. Sometimes people dress a certain way because they don’ t know Him yet, and how will they ever know Him at all if those who represent Him look down on them? 🙂

      • Those are some good thoughts Rhetta. I know there are hundreds of girls out there who wear those mini skirts and plunging necklines who literally have never been taught to even think about if it is wrong or not.

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