Ask Caroline: Can jeans be worn modestly?

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Ask Caroline: Can Jeans be worn modestly? | themodestmomblog.com

“I have always loved wearing skirts and consider them more feminine
then pants, but lately I have been having trouble finding skirts that
I consider modest. Perhaps it has to do with my body changing so much
from pregnency and birth (knit skirts are too clingy), or maybe I have
become too lax in my posture (putting feet up, sitting haphaserdly on
the floor, etc). Whatever the reason, I find myself wearing pants more
often during the week. I am finally getting ready to let go of my
maternity clothes, and need to buy some new things that fit now. Do
you consider pants modest? Do you have reccomendations for buying
modest pants? Or any other advise?” From a Reader

Ah, the great debate about jeans. This is a discussion that can quickly get out of hand as ladies feel passionately one way or the other. For some, it’s almost like a salvation issue. Others wouldn’t give slipping on their favorite pair of stone washed pants a second thought. I’m hoping our discussion and comments are charitable and kind as we chat about this. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve always been clear that I don’t wear dresses because I feel it’s required of me as a Christian. I wear them because I feel more feminine in them, and feel they send a clear message to those around me of who I am.ย A long, flowing skirt is modest. There really isn’t much debate about that.

Not all skirts and dresses are modest, but longer, fuller skirts or dresses make a woman look like, well, a woman! ย Her gender is clear.

While I’ve been clear on my position on Deuteronomy 22:5, I’ve always just worn skirts. It’s what I’ve done for years and it’s easy to maintain a modest look in a skirt. However I recently asked my husband what he thought about me actually wearing jeans once in a while. He was ok with it, so I have worn them some.

I don’t just throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt without thinking very carefully about what it looks like.

Wearing a tunic with a pair of jeans adds a longer layer for modesty. | themodestmomblog.comย I found this tunic shirt from ThredUP and was happy with how it looked with jeans. I feel comfortable wearing jeans if I have on something long, like a tunic shirt or a short dress.

The jeans are loose, not the tight jeans that hug your curves.

Playing on the slide in jeans I wore the jeans to the park to play with my children on a windy day.

Mother and daughter at park While my first preference is skirts or dresses, I do feel it is possible to wear jeans and be modest.

Why do I want to wear a tunic or short dress?

Here is a normal pair of jeans that are currently sold at Old Navy. Styles and colors of jeans change, but this style seems pretty common to me.

Where do your eyes fall when you see a pair of jeans on a woman?

Many times (not always) the eyes fall on the tightest spot, which is the crotch area, the private part of a woman that should never be on display for the world to see. The backside is just as bad…

Where do your eyes fall?

In order for me to feel modest, I want to cover up those areas.

Shirt Dress with jeans

Here is a blogger who has worn a short dress with a short sleeve halftee over her pair of jeans. It adds the length and feminine touch.

Tunic with jeans

Olivia from Fresh Modesty is another blogger who is concerned with modesty, and has chosen to layer jeans with tunics or short dresses.

There are no clear cut rules about jeans versus skirts. Only you can decide what you feel comfortable doing. It is so easy to throw a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on, but I will always encourage women to think beyond just comfort and turn their thoughts towards modesty.

**I have turned off the comments on this post, as I feel there is no point in continuing the uncharitable debates that have taken place. My husband and I will do a follow up post in a few weeks.**

Comments

  1. I really DON’T want to be contentious, but I find it quite amusing that people would think men go around staring at women’s crotches if they happen to be wearing jeans! I can assure you they don’t (we don’t stare at their groins when they’re wearing trousers, do we? Or hardly ever, anyway) and since it’s hardly the most beautiful part of a woman, I doubt someone is going to be attracted to one merely because of any specific properties of one’s clad crotch…I would have thought it was more important to cover up the alluring bits! Besides that, we all have our own comfort levels and I think you look wonderful in your outfit.

    • Caroline says:

      I’ve read surveys taken where men say that tight curvy jeans are a temptation to them. My friend said she used to work with men who loved looking at women’s backsides. As women, I don’t think we can safely be assured exactly what a man thinks. I think from everything I’ve read and heard men say, the backside and hips of a woman are the most tempting (talking about waist down!). I do agree that the crotch area is the last place a man would probably look. I just prefer to be on the safer side, and if I’m going to wear jeans, keep it all covered. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • I agree with your response. My husband has admitted to having temptation regarding looking at a woman in tight fitting (or not tight fitting) jeans. Although I don’t wear them at all, the way you do is much more modest. I wish more women wore them the same way!

        • My husband has confessed the same to me, Mary. My Dad told me about guys looking there, too.
          Caroline- I love your jeans outfit! Not only is it modest, but it’s just plain cute! =) If I wear pants out of the house anymore, I always try to cover my backside. I feel more feminine when I’m “protecting” myself. =)

  2. I think modesty has less to do with skirt vs. jeans and more to do with how you wear your clothes. My girls are always annoyed when I tell them no you can’t wear that. They are both shaped very differently and what one can wear the other one may not be able to. This includes certain fabrics as well as style. My oldest is very curvy and to keep from being noticed or stared at in a certain way I have to be careful with what I let her wear. I make sure their jeans are not tight and for her especially that her shirt covers as much as possible so the eyes are not drawn there. The same for her tops. They cannot be tight or low or sleeveless. Even when she wears layers the inner top cannot be tight or she has to wear the outer one buttoned up higher to not draw attention. Its very hard these days finding modest clothes. Especially for my teens.

    • Caroline says:

      Yes, I agree with this. What works for one body type would never work for another!

  3. I personally don’t see anything immodest about the two pairs of jeans pictured (although I don’t think I would draw attention to my jeans by rolling of the legs and I don’t care for the poses). I do believe that jeans or pants, in order to be modest, do need to be “in the background” so to speak. If they’re not tight, the woman herself is modest, and her face and blouse are more noticeable than her pants, I don’t think a typical man’s attention is really going to be drawn there. The two men in my family would laugh at the idea of jeans being immodest! Nothing wrong with a tunic though. A little more, rather than a little less, coverage never hurt anyone! Just my opinion–I don’t want to be contentious either. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Lovely outfits- thank you so much for posting these. I have never worn tunics, but the pictures in your post have shown me how flattering and feminine they can be when paired with jeans. I am definitely going to rethink the whole idea.

  5. I totally agree with you on jeans! I always see teens wearing those super tight jeans with jewels on the butt. I know they know that people are looking at their bottom because even I look!

  6. Any suggestions on where to buy tunics? I like them but have a hard time finding them.

    • We have found cute short dresses at thrift stores that work very well for pant tops.

  7. Wonderful wonderful article Caroline! I too think about those things and the last thing I want is to cause a brother to stumble. I prefer to wear skirts most of the time simply because I am a woman and it makes me feel like a woman…feminine…beautiful…set apart for the glory of God {not to be taken as I think I am better than anyone because I am wearing a skirt!} and being a good example to my children that I am aware and care about the way I take care of myself and present myself. We talk about what is modest and what is not. I do wear jeans and try to do so modestly and with careful thought.

  8. So sad to see you beginning to compromise Caroline. And to do so openly and proudly on your blog. What a shame.

    • I’m sorry that you feel like I’m compromising Susan. I posted this with much prayer, and in the hopes that ladies would understand I’m still looking very much at the scriptures. There is not a verse that says “women should not wear jeans” If there was, I would uphold it all the way. I’m attempting to follow my standards of modesty, and I was clear that everyone needs to do as they feel led when it comes to this issue. I think we all agree that we need to be careful not to flaunt our figures or make ourselves appealing to men, but as to how we accomplish that, there is some disagreement. The disagreement is natural, because there are no hard and fast scriptural rules, so each one of us does the best with what we have.

      • Danielle B says:

        I’m not a big skirt wearer at all. I’ve been hobbling around in a boot (broke my 5th metatarsal bone in my foot) for a month now. So much easier to disguise the boot in a pr of pants, especially a black pair.

        I don’t think she’s compromising at all, and I admire her willingness to be open and to show, she wear jeans like any other woman out there.

        There is nothing wrong with wearing pants or jeans. As she has shown, it can be done femininely too!

        • Amaris Newbill says:

          NOT ALL WOMEN WEAR PANTS! I am in a Baptist Church and most of our women including most of the teens have never ever ever owned or even wore a pair of pants! That includes even leggings (renamed pants/tights!) even if you wore them under a dress/skirt the men will think of pants and imagine you without the skirt/dress! I am not lying here since we, in our teen church did a survey of the men and teens in the department and asked them many modesty questions!
          And Caroline, you WERE a person I could look to for modest guidelines but now I will not be able to do so without having to wade through the JUNK of pants! I will not send other girls to your site because of the PANTS! When they are trying to dress more modestly they do not need to be sent to a site that will say very openly, how to wear pants modestly! Dressing is always a downhill spin! Our pastor preaches passionately that the showing of the thigh is NAKEDNESS! Even if the thigh is colored blue (jeans) or anything else that will show the shape of your thigh it is NAKEDNESS! Please reconsider your stand on pants!
          When we go to the park or do other active things there are many other options, culots being our main choice and then shorts under our skirts that do not show!
          I am sorry that another women has lowered the standards and will compromise the standards of the other women that look up to her!

          • So do the men in your congregation wear dresses? They should if the showing of the shape of the thigh is nakedness.

            It saddens me that you’d use such harsh words with Caroline like this. Perhaps she doesn’t meet your standards of modesty, but with this post, she’s met God’s standards of kindness, sincerity, and honesty.

          • The snide, prideful tone of your comment is far, far more immodest than any pants I’ve seen lately. It’s a good demonstration of how our clothing needs to reflect a modest spirit. I think Caroline has done that beautifully, and without compromise. If one gets angry at another sister for a sincere attempt at carefully dividing the word of truth, it really doesn’t matter what she’s wearing.

          • Danielle B says:

            I feel sorry that you go to a baptist church that still preaches to not wear pants. All baptist churches in my area have stopped preaching that 20 or 30 yes ago.

            And just because it is preached does NOT mean they are correct.

          • Look at your first sentence. Not all women wear pants. Not all women wear skirts either. Caroline has been a great inspiration and role model for me in my decision of modesty.

          • What we wear is not where modesty starts, it begins in the heart. The attitude you have shown here is one thing that runs folks from church. I am one of the bloggers in the pictures at the bottom and I was raised with strict modesty standards-in a Baptist church. I prayerfully consider the outfits I wear and ask my husband who is finishing up seminary, his opinion. Caroline is not just a modest dresser, her modesty begins in the heart. I would consider that pray fully if I were you. You think that because Caroline is in a pair of jeans, ONCE on her blog that her witness is ruined? I beg of you, what if your attitude? The Bible speaks sternly about our tongue and its use, it speaks to us about loving our neighbor, and yes about modesty. I agree SHOWING the thigh is nakedness, which is why when on the VERY VERY rare occasions I wear pants, I wear it with something long like a tunic. However, Caroline is far from naked. If your calling her naked, I am confused about men wearing pants, they would be naked too yes?

          • Amaris Newbill says:

            We still preach Biblical separation. The the Bible does not teach men to wear dresses! Now that men wear and have worn pants, when women wear pants is a part of the uni-sex movement! We teach at our church that women should not wear that which partaneth to a man. And pants are included. I feel sorry for you, Danielle B, that your churches stopped preaching about modesty! This is why we cannot find modest clothing! If women were to demand modest clothing the clothing makers would make them! And Danielle B. my preacher is right no matter what you say since he is the man of God placed in the pulpit he is the mouthpiece of God. At our church we love the KJV and old time separation! I will NEVER apologize for that and I just wished there were others like us but since most women are lowering the standards we will be ” a peculiar people”!

          • Katie Donovan says:

            There seems to be one very interesting point that no-one has yet brought up in this discussion, and that is that Hebrew men did not wear pants! Both men and women wore tunics, however the styles did differ between the sexes, hence the commands in Deuteronomy. And what are we then to make of the Scots, for whom kilts (skirts) are a part of their traditional costume? A man in a kilt is still easily distinguishable as a man because his clothing is still distinct from the female’s clothing, despite the fact that neither wears pants. Do we also need to condemn them?

            I not only think that Caroline looked very feminine in her outfit, but I think for a mother of young children, pants can be more modest than a skirt. When you are constantly getting down on the ground, or playing with young children – especially boys – it can be much easier to do so modestly in a pair of jeans. I have also found that my hands become very full when we are out, with holding little hands, pushing strollers, or just carrying the things we need. It doesn’t always leave a hand free for holding down a skirt in windy weather, and some modest skirts just love to catch the wind under them and create a scene!

        • Kim Crawford says:

          Thank you for the article Caroline. It is an excellent reminder that if we choose to wear pants or jeans, we still need to be feminine and modest.
          For those who think you may be compromising, in areas of Biblical freedom, it is okay to have personal convictions. When we place our personal convictions on others, it then becomes legalism. We are not more or less pleasing to God by what we wear. We are fully pleasing to God because we are in Christ and Christ alone. Caroline is doing an excellent job maintaining this balance of grace and truth.

          • Caroline says:

            Thank you Kim. I appreciate your thoughts.

          • Danielle B says:

            Amaris I don’t go to a legalistic baptist church. (Nor any baptist church) any church that demands women to do xyz is legalistic.

            You can’t take what the “man of God” says as gospel. You must study the word for yourself. And IF you would do that you would learn what deut 22:5 actually means. Deut 22:5 is talking about a certain type of man, a warrior, a fighter, one who carries a weapon. Of course a woman wouldn’t be carrying or wearing armour like a warrior.

            Do your own study before you come on here and blast people. Which is NOT Christian-like behavior. If you don’t like what she posts anymore, stop reading. Don’t be RUDE.

            I pray one day you will find out the TRUTH about the Bible. And the FREEDOM there is in Christ to wear pants, make up, jewelry. Until then… God bless!

          • Amaris Newbill says:

            Danielle, I do wear make-up and any other beauty thing (jewerly) that does not show my “for husband only areas” including my thighs, cleavage, and crotch areas. My pastor does know what he is talking about and I do study the Bible for my self and I take Deut. 22:5 very seriously.
            As for sending other girls to this site, I cannot within my conscience send them here because many of them have a strong held conviction against pants, as does most of our church. I do not want any of my friends to go backwards in their modesty standards as Caroline has seemed to go. I’m sorry if I sound rude but I stand up for what I believe and I will ALWAYS stand up for my preacher.

  9. I’ve always tried to dress modestly and like a woman, as the Bible says, but I do include pants in my wardrobe. It hit me one day that when those texts were written, men and women were BOTH wearing robes. So, if women can’t wear pants, neither can men! ๐Ÿ™‚ While I would agree that tight clothing poses some modesty issues, I also avoid tight clothing because (especially with extremely tight clothing) it tends to hinder the body’s circulation, and therefore tight clothing can also be a subtle hindrance to good health. I like your jeans outfit, because it flows well and uses a pair of looser-looking jeans that seem breathable, while still looking sweet and feminine. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Thank you for this post Caroline. I was laughing to myself last night when my husband shuddered at my white legs showing under a knee-length skirt. He couldn’t handle it bwcause in his words I always wear long, Amish skirts. I don’t. Haha. I do wear jeans (I own one pair). But it is an indication of what men think…as he thought me weird when we got married for wearing long skirts and now he thinks it’s weird when I don’t. I love the idea of tunics or short dresses over jeans. A great way to stay modest when playing with the kids or working in the garden.

  11. Great post! We so often make our preferences moral issues. Immodesty is immoral. Beyond that, we believers will always disagree about the specific standards for modesty. It’s sad when we judge others by our own personal convictions. My opinion–and that’s all of is– you look beautiful and wholesome in your jeans outfit. Blessings!

  12. You look great, Caroline! ๐Ÿ™‚ As we’ve discussed together before, I also enjoy wearing jeans in a modest way. I especially love the look of jeans with a short dress or tunic, and my husband likes it, too.

    โ™ฅ Joy

  13. Erica Ricky Kennedy says:

    I agree with Heidi about the issue of pants on men/women not being particularly biblical. I believe that the crux of the matter is Modesty, and I think that you seem to be a particularly good model of that. Modesty is more than clothing, even more than appearance. It is an attitude of humility and responsibility. We are not ever to “look” like men. Wearing pants consistently especially with so much other mannish apparel available for women, may not be conducive to every girl’s feminine aura. We are to look feminine without being alluring (except in private with our husbands.) We can be feminine in pants/slacks/jeans if our behavior and other apparel is appropriate. I believe that our clothing (pants, shirts, etc.) must not be clingy and revealing. Whether we would look at someone else’s anatomy with inappropriate thoughts is irrelevant. Many men have made it well known that the crotch area (front and back) is attractive to them. It is inappropriate to wave a red flag in front of a bull. I know that my husband and many Christian men love their wives and do not have eyes for others, but this is not so for all. Of course it is not a girl’s fault where a boy’s eyes wander or what he thinks, but the Bible is clear that we ARE our brother’s keeper!

  14. I must admit I was surprised to see you in pants on your blog, since you have stated that you rarely wear them. But I must say I’m surprised by the criticism, too. Not everyone has to have the same dress standards, because like you said, the Bible really is not clear. What IS clear is modesty, indecency, cross-dressing, etc. Different cultures have differing styles for men and women, so it really is a tough issue. Not all centuries, and even today, not all countries have the ‘men wear pants, women wear skirts’ standard, though our country used to be that way.

    I personally wear only skirts, and am in a church where skirts for women are the standard. If I remember right, you are not, and your husband did not grow up with that idea. So for the people who are thinking “wow, what a compromise!”, maybe they are surrounded by the teaching that women in pants are “evil”, and none of their friends and family wear them, whereas perhaps you are not? Please correct me if I’m wrong. I sincerely hope that each of us has a reason for our standards, and we are not just dressing modestly/wearing skirts just because everyone around us does and/or our pastor says to do so.

    For the above commenter who mentioned the showing of the thigh as nakedness, yes that is biblical. Most people interpret that to say that shorts above the knee is immodest(men or women). But to say that clothing that shows the shape of the thigh is nakedness is rather funny. Does her pastor and husband wear robes or skirts over their pants? Because if not, their thighs must be as naked, too. Just sayin’.
    I, too, think that wearing shorts under skirts is a MUST for little girls. I think many are stuck on the “we only wear dresses” thing, and forget about modesty. Pants would be more modest on the playground than a dress flying up. We wear dresses, so we keep our girls modest with shorts underneath. To me they are a modern day bloomer. : )

    • Danielle B says:

      Actually when my pastor goes ministering to certain churches she will wear a long robe over her dress.

      I have a married pastors. And yes, they both preach.

      • Amaris Newbill says:

        Men’s thighs are not as sexual as the women’s thighs. If they were I know the Lord would have said something about it and the men of old would not have worn pants.

  15. I am so glad you posted this! I try to dress modestly, but for me personally, the easiest way is to wear pants and a long shirt that covers my backside and of course, is not low-cut. I love the outfit you are wearing. I think it was brave of you to post this, and I am sorry you got such negative comments.

  16. Thank you for this post! I have really enjoyed your blog. I find it very encouraging for myself and as I make choices for my daughter. I was not raised wearing skirts unless it was for fashion or comfort and then joined my husbands church which was an “all skirts-all the time” church. Now it is not, although many women still do and modesty is stressed. I wore ONLY skirts for about 10 years and now recently have ventured out to some pants again. This was an encouraging post. My husband does prefer mostly skirts but doesn’t scoff if I choose pants for the day. I like getting idea’s for outfits and just to be reminded that we aren’t the only Christians out there that are convicted to dress to reflect Christ!! Thanks for your willingness to be transparent and to put yourself out on a limb!! I’ve been blessed!

  17. Susan McCurdy says:

    The best thing you said in this post was “I asked my husband”. As an “older” woman(50 with eight children and 20+ years serving in ministry with my pastor husband)I want to encourage each lady ….don’t ask “Caroline”, or “Ann” or “Courtney” or “Darlene” …or “Voddie” or “Bill” or “Doug” or “Nancy” …Ask “your” husband. He is the one who will answer to God for how He directs you and you will answer to God for how you followed the direction of your own husband. With that being said you have given some cute outfits to consider! Thanks!

  18. Thank you for posting this! I am a teenager and think that being modest is important and God-glorifying! I normally wear skirts and dresses, but wear pant/jeans often. My mom and sisters are very modest and beautiful and are wonderful examples for other women and girls. Most of the women and girls in our church wear dresses and skirts too. Some of the comments I think were unnecessary and were just their opinions which should not always be shared. I love you outfits! <3

  19. Gloria Wall says:

    I was actually surprised when I saw your pictures – I read the title and thought this could be interesting but my first thought when I saw you in pants was – she looks so different (more manly) and not as feminine and modest like she usually does – this doesn’t quite seem right. Wasn’t sure if I should leave my comment, but I have enjoyed your blog and this seems a bit of a compromise. Not quite sure what to think – I know there are alot of controversial opinions on this but this just doesn’t seem like you.

    • Danielle B says:

      Wow, there is NOTHING manly in what she has on. Goes to show how legalistic so,we of you have become.

  20. I did not grow up wearing dresses only. In fact I had to beg because I wanted to but my mom would try to get me to wear pants. I’ve always preferred them for my own personality reason. I’ve even been asked by kids why I wear dresses, over 10 years ago even. Then more recently, as I saw dresses and femininity disappearing, I realized I needed to think through the modesty and femininity issue and make some decisions. I started linking up to your Modest Mondays and helping others on their own modesty journey. We’re all just on our own journeys in obeying God and pleasing Him. Pants, dresses, skirts, it’s all about Him and we can see that that is where your heart is Caroline. I recently wrote my own pants post, although I haven’t taken photos of those outfits yet. http://trulyskrumptious.wordpress.com/2014/01/24/modest-monday-why-i-still-wear-pants/

  21. Caroline,
    Thank you so much for sharing my blog post on here! You look beautiful and modest! I love your outfit and spent a while today looking on Thred-Up for a similar tunic! :).

  22. Katherine says:

    Clothing is adiaphora with regards to our salvation.

    While there is no verse that says women should wear skirts because it shows their thighs or is akin to nakedness. Nothing says that by wearing pants, you have denied the Lord Jesus.

    Romans 14:3 – The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.

    I would encourage those who are offended by this post to read the entirety of Romans 14 and may the Spirit work His will.

    My sister Caroline, have a wonderful Good Friday and a blessed Easter.

    Christ alone is worthy of our focus. Let us remember the pit he redeemed us from. 1 Timothy 1:15 “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.”

  23. Hi Caroline~ I agree these are very modest ways to wear pants. I have personally been noticing, though, that with pants, and jeans in particular, men and women don’t have that special difference in clothing. The bottom half of both husband and wife are going to look the same. But the Bible says for men to wear men’s and women to wear women’s clothing. Because we are so different in how he created men and women, I tend to believe that our outer garments are to be very different as well. I look forward to more of your posts. Blessings! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Danielle B says:

      If your legs look like your husbands, you have issues. (Or maybe your husband does) My legs look nothing like my husbands. I have curves! They have not straight up and down. I’m not a stick figure, God made me to look different than a man. Your hips should be wider than your legs, unlike your husbands hips. His hips and legs are straight up and down.

      And again, duet 22:5 is not talking about skirts and pants. And i feel sorry that you feel you need to love under a law, that Christ set us free from. Do a study on that verse. I explained it above. It is talking about a certain man, a warrior, wearing armour. Of course a woman shouldn’t be wearing armour. Look it up in the original language. HEBREW. you might learn something.

      • Danielle~ I do not live under the law. The jeans example is just what I have been noticing. And I do hope that the next person you encourage with your words doesn’t feel like they are being “spoken to” in a rude way.
        Blessings.

  24. Thanks for sharing this post. It was much needed. I wear pants and jeans a lot because I was raped before and I feel, personally, that jeans are harder to get off if such a situation were thrust on me again. Also, I have noticed even in a long flowing dress that I get undressed with the eyes by random men and I HATE that feeling. I feel so disgusted.

    • Dear Kim. What a horrible thing to happen! Praying for your continued healing. God be with you! =)

    • I am a survivor too. You are so strong for speaking out. But please remember that it is the men’s eyes to blame and not your body. You don’t put thoughts in their heads that weren’t there already and that they don’t think looking at any woman. It’s not you that’s in the wrong for having a body, it’s them that are in the wrong for looking at you like that.

      • btw, for clarity, ‘survivor’ is short for ‘rape survivor’…not sure if anyone outside the support groups is familiar with that terminology.

        • Also, you have raised questions for me that have been in the back of my mind for a while: I guess I should shut up soon and stop misusing sweet Caroline’s blog (who I add here I find an inspiring and remarkable woman) but -is it not much more difficult for Christian women to deal processing r*pe? I mean, most of the emotions like anger and rage that we process are quite difficult for a woman who feels constrained to be sweet and feminine, I would imagine: they are not beautiful or modest! And also Christian women may not all be as used to speaking openly about sexuality as those of us who are less restrained…not sure. But it is a question I’ve been wanting to raise for a long time, and I’d welcome feedback. Apologies to Caroline for using your space to raise this question!

    • I am very sorry for what happened to you, I hope you’re feeling better now! if you feel safer wearing jeans, wear them, they can be modest. God Bless

    • Caroline says:

      I’m so sorry you had that horrible experience happen. :/ No woman should ever, ever have that happen to them, and I hope you have found healing from it. ((hugs))

  25. Thank you for this wonderful post Caroline! I have always loved your blog and it’s disheartening to see such negative comments written on a post that was truly from your heart. I loved that you wrote about seeking your husbands approval about the jeans. Your desire for The Lord and your husband is so evident in all of your posts. Thank you for putting yourself out there and being an inspiration.

  26. You look very beautiful! I have tried to wear skirt but I find that I prefer to wear pant. I avoid tight and low rise. I also don’t like to wear any that are above my knee. I use capri during summer time. I don’t wear low cleavage or some “V” neck shirt. I don’t wear tank top. I have been pray for long time and this is what I felt God want me to wear. My hubby satisfied with what I am doing and he will tell me if he think my clothes are not appropriate.
    I appreciated that you included us women that like to wear pant to be part of your blog.

  27. Dear Caroline,
    I have been critical of you in the past, because my knee-jerk reaction to a post of yours was that you were judgmental. After more careful readings of your blog, I see that you’re not. And I also enjoy your Modest Monday posts :). Now, I consider myself a devout Christian, although we would differ on many, many issues, as I am a Congregationalist. I am also a public school teacher who usually wears pants, although I almost always wear skirts or dresses to church, and I am a runner who trains in shorts. While none of that is going to change, no matter how many blasts I get on here (sigh), you have made me consider that I should treat my fiancรฉ with respect (not to say that I didn’t before, but simply another reminder that he’s not my friend or co-worker, he’s someone I need to make a conscious effort to greet with a smile and calm spirit), and with a more feminine attitude. So, I thank you for that. Much of what you write is food for thought, certainly.
    I am shaking my head at the angry replies to this post. Indeed it is exactly attitudes like this that turned me away from a fundamentalist church in the first place. Yesterday I studied Matthew 7:5. Many of you would do well to do the same.
    Happy Easter to you and your family, Caroline.

  28. Rebecca Young says:

    Caroline

    I found this article very inspirational as well. Together with two of my friends I have started to wear pants (trousers as I am from the UK) for the first time during the past six months. It took me a lot of thought and prayer before I bought my first pair of trousers but I am now glad that I made the transition from being a skirts only wearer.

    I also wear a tunic or long shirt when wearing trousers in public and regard modesty issues as very important.

    I started a blog on my experiences http://rebeccatriestrousers.blogspot.com

    Blessings

    Rebecca

  29. Well……I can’t say that I am not disappointed. Of course you are free to do what ever you feel is right, and your photos are not immodest. However, I have seen, over many years, that once ladies make that change, it will not be long until their definition of modesty changes. I have never known any woman to be able to hold a “middle-of-the-road” position. She invariably continues towards immodesty and masculinity. And she does so without sorrow because she has changed her definition of modesty and femininity.

    The problem is our testimony for our younger sisters in Christ. If they see you, they will follow suit, without the tunic. Or with a tight tunic. I know that we are not responsable for everybody, and that everybody if free to do what they believe that Lord is telling them to do.

    • My husband would like us to be in skirts or dresses only ALL the time, which we are, but not to the extent of the commenter above who doesn’t wear leggings. We live in Minnesota and wear leggings most of the year. Anyway, I would like to point out that I know several women who are what you would consider “middle of the road” who do so and have done so for years. I have a friend who is concerned about modesty and femininity probably more so than I am, but her and her daughters often wear jeans (like those Caroline wore.) If you look at Caroline’s photo with her daughter in the slide, imagine how modest that would be in a skirt (even with tight leggings underneath.) If you look at the Bible, it has a lot more to say about modesty than it does about gender distinction meaning skirts on women and pants on men. So, I just wanted to point out that there are women out there who are concerned about modesty, separation from the world, and gender distinction but who do wear pants for modesty reasons. To be honest with you, even though we are members of a skirts-only church, I know more women who wear pants for modesty reasons than I do who wear skirts only. Also, before being too judgmental about women wearing pants, consider that some do it because their husbands want them to. I have a good friend who embarrasingly wears jeans because her husband wants her to, and I think she looks quite modest.

  30. I frequent your blog regularly because of the many uplifting and grace-filled ideas for what you desire and encourage others to be – a Modest Mom — and have until now found it to be a haven of hope and encouragement. Not because of the actual pant/skirt controversy, Caroline. But because it has caused so many occasions for negatively expressing “the great debate”, as shown in the comments above.

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