Is It Time To Purge Your Closet?
This series is specifically targeted towards creating a modest wardrobe. I can’t tell you what that will look like for you, as everyone has different guidelines of what they feel is acceptable. There are, however, some general guidelines I’d like to set down. I’d also like to present a few questions to ask yourself as we get started.
It might be time to purge some things out and introduce a few new things to your closet. If you are just recently feeling convicted in the area of modesty, this might be especially painful to do. How do you part with your favorite articles of clothing? Well, just tell yourself that you are going to get new favorites!
As you look through your closet, consider these things.
Can you walk comfortably in that skirt or dress? Is it so tight and fitted that you have to move a certain way in it?
Does it reveal a lot when you bend over? A top might look ok standing up, but when you bend over everything might be on display for the world to see.
Sit down in a chair in front of a mirror. Does that shorter skirt come way above your knee when you sit down? Seriously consider if that that is acceptable or not.
When you are wearing a skirt or dress that has a lot of spandex in it, see if it is clinging to your every curve. Some maxi skirts can be long and flowing, but at the bottom and hip area they can cling so tightly everyone sees the outline of your underwear, not to mention your backside. You don’t want that! You can wear a longer shirt or cardigan over the maxi to cover your bottom area.
Finally, consider clothing that has words on it. Do you really want to wear a t-shirt that has the word “hot” written all over your bust? Are those jeans that say “Sassy” in jewels all over your bottom really appropriate? Ask yourself what message you want to give to others.
I was watching an episode of the Duggars where Jill picked out her wedding dress, and Michele said that her girls try to pick out clothing that brings attention to their countenance first. That is a good rule to follow. Are you wanting people to notice your face, or your cleavage?
As you consider what clothing you have in your closet, it might be good to ask your husband or a close friend what their thoughts are on certain outfits. My personal advice? Set some sort of personal guidelines for you to go by and purge your closet against those rules. If your husband is willing to be involved, that is the absolute best way to go.
If you have questions about certain guidelines, or feel confused about where to draw the line, leave a comment and maybe others can help you out! While you ultimately need to follow the direction your husband is leading, some husbands don’t want to be terribly involved and trust their wives to just dress how they see fit. It can be helpful to chat with other women when that is the situation you are in!
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I get what you are trying to do with this series, but I think the focus on rules can be damaging to a lot of women. Focus on Christ, and following him, not on how many inches long your skirt is. Someone who stumbles across your blog and reads this post are not going to see God’s love and grace, they are going to see a list of rules that they need to follow to be considered a “good Christian girl”. I encourage you to check out Sheila Wray a Gregoire and the series she is writing right now. It’s so refreshing to read.
Hi Stacey,
I understand your concern. However, Caroline has stated more than once in posts leading up to this series that it is not about legalism, and has also emphasized that each women’s individual conviction of modesty may differ from others, depending on their body shape, where they live, what they have access to, etc. If you look through her blog, there are many places where she shares about her faith. And looking at the name, “The Modest Mom”, should anyone really be surprised to see a modesty series? A lot of us are glad as we have been asking her advice in terms of modesty, and I think she is gearing things to that group, although I am sure it would inspire anyone who reads it. It helps to encourage others! Blessings to you.
Stacey,
I don’t think Caroline is trying to create rules for modest dress. I remember her mentioning in a different post that she doesn’t think people should create rules to follow in this area, but that they should follow where they are being convicted.
I personally love when bloggers blog about how to dress modestly. I am very much beginning this journey to dressing modestly, and it helps to hear others’ inputs. I feel convicted, but don’t know where to begin on a budget and with very little support in this area around me. Bloggers like Caroline are the only Christian women I can look to for at least some direction of going fashionably modest. There are so many days where I get frustrated and wish we would all just wear those robes from way back when. LOL!
Seeing people put their modest outfits together on these blogs and writing about what they feel convicted on or why they chose this shirt instead of another, or what not, is so encouraging! I feel like I’m not alone in this venture, where our society says skin-tight leggings and open back tops are the way to go.
Thank you for mentioning Sheila Wray a Gregoire, though! I will definitely go check out her series, as well! 🙂
I made a typo is her name… Sheila Wray Gregoire. No “a”. Her blog is called To Love Honour and Vacuum.
Thanks for this series; I started to pay more attention to modesty just six months ago and I’m really confused about what to do with my wardrobe; I don’t have mini skirts or something really immodest just some things in the “grey area” of modesty (like skirts just above the knee or at the knee) and I don’t really know what to do with them!
Don’t get rid of them yet! We will have ideas of how to wear shorter shirts later in the series. 🙂
Thanks!!
I love wearing skirts and how feminine they make me feel, but I also live in a climate of very cold winters and have a hard time finding warm (affordable) skirts. I also have a hard time putting on a skirt when it is zero or below out and I usually will end up in my yoga pants 🙂
I love wearing a floor length denim or max skirt with fleece lined leggings in the winter. Super warm!
Sara, in addition to Jamie’s tip, I happened to find a really thin beige fleece skirt at a thrift store that I wear under skirts in the winter. It would be easy to make one as well. (Doesn’t even matter what it looks like, since nobody sees it!) I wear it over top of my regular slip (and sometimes I put another regular slip in between the fleece “slip” and the skirt if it’s clinging. It sounds bulky, but it really is not at all! I’ve found that works for me, because in the bitter cold, wind will go through a denim skirt.
I’ve done it with other combinations of skirts as well – you just have to see what works for you. Obviously the extra layer can’t have any buttons or a bulky waistband. Sometimes I’ll throw on an extra skirt underneath for the time I’m outside, then just pull it back off when I com e back in. When you’re outside in that kind of weather with a heavy winter jacket and nice warm boots, any bulk from extra layers doesn’t show up anyway!
We also have to keep in mind that as Christian women, we do not want to cause another person to stumble, and wearing clothing that is too revealing or tight or immodestcan definitely cause men to have wrong thoughts that the Bible tells us is a sin itself, so we should be mindful of what could cause otherz to stumble not only in the way we dress but our testimony as well. Besides that dressing modestly has given me so much more personal freedom.!
I’m in high school and for about a year now I have wanted to dress more modestly. I don’t wear anything immodest, but I feel convicted to wear more skirts. I feel like I would be made fun of and am not sure if my family would support my decision. Any suggestions? 😀
There is another high school girl I’ve chatted with that feels the same way you do. My suggestion would be to just pick some skirts that are in style right now (like some maxi skirts) so you don’t look like you just walked out of a prairie play (I was asked that one time!). When people ask, just say you like wearing skirts. Even though you might get some comments, that isn’t the worst thing! You might encourage some other girls to wear skirts. We live close to a high school and I have seen a few girls walking out of school with a skirt on!
Catalina,
I know this is a few months late but I didn’t see this post when it first came out. I wear skirts pretty much all the time. While I was in college (in a very liberal area) a few people asked me why I didn’t wear pants, but for the most part, no one really cared. If people asked, I just answered that I preferred skirts or something like that. The vast majority of people either didn’t notice or told me I always looked put-together. 🙂 The only times people said anything negative about me wearing skirts were times I came across as legalistic (suggesting that everyone should dress the way I do). As long as you keep humble and do whatever you do for the Lord, you shouldn’t have any trouble wearing skirts!