Makeup and Heart Issues {Part 2}
In my last post I talked about how important it is that we, as mothers, make an honest effort at avoiding the worn out mom look when we’re out and about. Not only do I feel better about myself when I tidy up my appearance I feel like I’m doing a little something towards putting the haggard homeschool mom persona to rest.
That said, I also tried to make it clear that I in no way believe that makeup is the magic bullet for feeling spent. No doubt, the pendulum can just as easily swing too far the other way to the point that makeup becomes a necessity that you can’t allow yourself to be seen without. Though I do wear makeup, here are a few things I keep in mind that help me balance it’s use.
My Heart Issue Check List
1. Do I feel so dependent on makeup that I can’t leave my house without it on? This is the biggest thing on my checklist. I don’t want to become so dependent on makeup that I can’t face someone without it. I want to be secure with my makeup on or off. The most important thing I want on my face is the countenance of the Lord, not the best, most natural makeup I can find.
The highest compliment I’ve ever been paid was by an older minister in our church who, when I was 13, told me that he could see the light of the Lord shining through my face. I’ve never forgotten that, and the feeling it gave me was far greater than a passing compliment on how pretty my makeup is. True beauty comes from within, and if I have to choose I want lasting beauty over external. However, I don’t feel like you have to pick one or the other. If your heart is in the right place I feel you can balance both properly.
2. Do I feel secure around my husband without makeup on? A few months ago I realized that I didn’t. My face was broke out, I was pregnant and hormonal and of course convinced myself that he didn’t like me as well when I didn’t have makeup on. I talked to him about it, and he assured me that was not the case. I purposefully cut back on how often I wore makeup until I felt myself secure again around my husband, no matter how I looked.
While I feel it is important to look nice for our husbands, they do see us in our best and worst times. We need to know they will be there for us no matter how we look, and just do our best to put on a good appearance when we can, and know that the love between us will carry us through the messy moments. 🙂
3. When people look at me, do they instantly think of how much makeup I have on? I don’t want the barbie doll, plastered on makeup look. Everyone has personal standards of what they feel is appropriate, but fake eyelashes and the dark makeup look is not for me. I want to compliment what God has given me, not put on a whole new face. I try to keep things as natural as I can, and carefully choose my colors.
4. Am I being a good example to my daughters? I have three young girls watching my every move. They ask me questions, and watch as I put makeup on. I always talk to them about how makeup is for mama’s, and how little girls don’t need it. They play with my makeup brushes, giggle about it, and run on their merry way. So far it has not been a huge issue in our house. They’re just delighted to use the EOS Chapstick I keep in my purse for them! 🙂
Tomorrow I’m going to share some practical tips on how I put makeup upon, and keep it super simple for a busy mom’s life! Bonus – I made a video for you all!
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Use the code: LASTDAY at the checkout to receive the free shipping.
We have two new items at Deborah & Co.Â
Tiered Ruffle Maxi skirts in 3 different colors! The black and ivory has a lace look, but is actual fabric. These are available in limited quantity, so don’t delay if you want one!
Homemaking 201 is now available! I’m so excited to have a fantastic sequel to Homemaking 101. I’ve received so much encouragement from watching 101, and my six year old daughter just adores these DVD’s!
I follow your Facebook page, and I often read your blog. I am not the demographic you are aiming for ~ I am not a mom, I don’t dress particularly modestly, nor do I consider myself at all religious. However, I still find your posts interesting. And while you follow a set of beliefs that I don’t necessarily agree with, you maintain a style of writing that espouses your faith and practices wholeheartedly without seeming fanatical.
I know I am rambling….just wanted to say keep up the good work. Your reach is farther than you may know.
I enjoyed the points you made today and appreciate that you give yourself a checklist to stay balanced in this area. It is so easy to become dependent on makeup and feel we do not look good without it.
I used to wear makeup all the time, until my hubby said he liked me without it and really didn’t care if I wore it or not. So I wore it only occasionally. Then my daughter got old enough to understand what I was doing and trying to explain to her why I wore makeup and yet at the same time convince her she was beautiful without it became impossible without sounding like a hypocrite. I did not want her to grow up thinking make up made her prettier, I wanted her to know she truly was beautiful just the way God made her. So I gave it up completely and it is so freeing. My skin is also much healthier now.
I understand some women’s reasons for wearing it and I don’t think it’s a sin. However, some women’s reasons for wearing it are sinful. We should definitely be mindful of our heart issues in this area.
I do wear make up to look my best. My irish skin has Roseacia & acne scar damage. We have limited resources and I cannot afford laser treatments to correct the issues. I’m thankful for tools (which is what I see make as) to look my best. I also use the color in my clothing choices to look nice. The women in my husbands family (greek) have amazing skin ( no acne, large pores, dark circles, mask of pregnancy etc). They are olive skinned, no dark circles, I’ve never seen a blemish on any of them. They look great with nothing. I’ve sat in Bible studies and been snubbed, judged and damned by women who do not to wear makeup. Our goal in life is to love our neighbor and treat people the way we want to be treated whether they are black, asian, fat, skinny, young, old, make up or none. I am a nurse and we have many religious groups in our area. I can almost tell you which denomination they are a part of by their appearance. Each group seems to believe themselves more holy than the next. They rarely speak to anyone outside thier church. I hear the other nurses and doctors comment on the judgmental attitudes these people have. Christ told those who are fasting not to draw attention to themselves by thier appearance. Being a wife and mother is a blessing from God. We need to look our best ( what ever that looks like for each of us) to tastefuly use the tools available to us to look our personal best. God made our husbands visual. How people see us is how they judge us. Man looks on the outside, God looks on the inside.
I really appreciate your balanced approach to wearing makeup. God looks at the heart, and wearing makeup has nothing to do with the condition of our hearts. I think too often believers have a wrong perspective on this verse and automatically judge women who choose to wear makeup and/or follow certain fashions as being shallow or worldly. I’m pretty confident God doesn’t expect us to demonstrate our humility by not putting an effort into our appearance.:)Our ultimate goal should be to honor God in how we present ourselves.So, thank you for sharing your perspective on this issue; it was refreshing!
” I’m pretty confident God doesn’t expect us to demonstrate our humility by not putting an effort into our appearance.”
LOVE this. Totally agree! That could sum up what I was trying to express through this series. 🙂 I don’t think makeup is a must have item, and definitely don’t judge women either way. If you want to wear makeup, fine. If you don’t, fine! I just really wanted to try and share a balanced approach to the topic. 🙂
I’ll be honest, this is such an area of struggle for me. I hate showing up at church with a mis-matched outfit and that face of utter exhaustion, but at the same time, when I wear make-up, I feel fake. I look in the mirror and see this sparkling stranger with a perfect, plastic face, and I don’t like that. Part of the problem, I think, is that I don’t know how to put on make up very well, having never worn it until a couple months ago, and never being taught how, and so I over-do it? I don’t know. I also feel foolish in front of my husband when I’m wearing make up. Every single time, he asks me, “Why do you feel like you need it? I like you just fine the way you are. I don’t care if you wear it, but I wish you felt pretty anyway.” SO, I am left wondering if he is just trying to reassure me of his love, or if he senses an insecurity with the way God made me. Still not sure what my conclusions are, but I do appreciate your balanced approach, as it is so much more helpful than most of what I have read on the subject. Thank you!
This is a good topic because I have been surprised time and again about who actually is wearing makeup! I knew you did because of your posts about your products, though when I read what you are wearing I have to look at your makeup to actually notice it! And the light of the Lord definitely shines through your face, as it does in several woman I know in real life. It is just something special! I remember watching an episode of 19 kids and counting back when it was i believe 17 kids and I remember Michelle Duggar said that the girls wouldn’t open their door until they had their makeup on when the cameras were there. I was like “whoa what?!” I have since noticed that some of those girls have acne and that the makeup makes it look worse, in my opinion. I also have several very strictly brought up friends and acquaintances and was shocked when I heard they used Mary Kay. I don’t use makeup very often mostly because I don’t put much effort into my appearance, I keep everything simple. I just love how these godly women, including you, are saying that it is okay to enhance what God has given you. It is refreshing to know that on days where I do wear makeup that people don’t look at me and think I am less godly, chances are they won’t notice makeup if it is done right! Great series!!