Answering the “How do you do it all?” Question!
I seem to be getting more and more questions from mothers wondering how I manage to blog, own a business, be a consultant for Lilla Rose, homeschool my children, run my house, and still manage to be sane doing it all. 🙂
I don’t have any special secrets. Honestly there are women out there far more organized then I am. My secret is that I strongly believe in all these things, so somehow I find a way to make it all work. But it doesn’t always look pretty and it always doesn’t run smoothly.
In order to dispel the myth that I’m some sort of supermom, here is a breakdown of some things I’m currently NOT doing.
1. We have a seamstress who does an excellent job working for our custom clothing business. I stopped being the seamstress years ago – trying to keep up with the demand of orders along with running the business and everything else was way to much for me. The business would have been ended a long time ago if I was the main seamstress. 🙂 I was the one responsible for cutting out all the skirt orders for several months after Christmas and that was a big job right there!
2. Recently we hired someone to come and ship all the orders for our business. It was a wise decision, and once again after praying about it we found the perfect person to do it!
3. I’m not running my children around to extra curricular activities. There is nothing wrong with being involved in outside events, I just physically have not been able to keep up with adding one more thing to our schedule, and my children have not suffered for it at all.
4. We are not doing a fancy homeschool curriculum. At this point I’m combining Heart of Dakota (only select portions of it) with Christian Light Workbooks. It is working out well for us.
5. I’m not keeping a Martha Stewart house. My dishes are rarely all done at once, and if you walk in my living room 9 times out of 10 there is a laundry basket sitting there. I’m not happy with the state of my house, and it’s a work in progress to continually learn how to keep up with it better. My husband loves a neat and tidy house and I long to be better homemaker for him. He also realizes that I cannot do everything though, and he pitches in and helps when he is able. I don’t think my house looks different then most houses with 5 younger children though… 🙂
6. I don’t cook fancy, gourmet meals. We have a lot of taco salad, burritos, and homemade pizza here.
7. I don’t use cloth diapers. We sometimes use paper plates. I rarely make my own whole wheat bread anymore. When things are super crazy we run to Costco and get a $9.00 pizza to bring home and cook in the oven. Or a Rotisserie chicken and then I’ll cook some Annie’s Mac & Cheese at home to go along with it, and a vegetable. Simple meals are a must. When I take the time to make nicer meals, usually I’m making Pioneer Women’s mashed potatoes, meatballs, and homemade crescent rolls. Mmmmmm. 🙂
Some other things that help this season of life….
My daughter is using an online reading program to learn how to read. I do sit most of the time with her and monitor her progress, but I don’t have to mentally give of myself for that task.
We had a mother’s helper coming in one day every week, or every other week while my husband was in college. He just finished up the semester and is home right now so she is not coming presently, but it was a big help when she came. It gave me time to get caught up on business emails and projects while she helped the children with schoolwork. She also tackled laundry every time she came. 🙂
Having a husband who is just as committed to our online businesses. My name might be on this blog, the Lilla Rose website, and the Deborah & Co. site, but without my husband’s support I couldn’t manage to keep up this blog and the businesses. He helps me with editing blog posts, and I run multiple ideas by him constantly for feedback. He will be doing all the design work on my eBook that I’m writing, and will even be adding some thoughts to the eBook himself. We compliment each other’s weaknesses well (believe me, you don’t want me doing the design work on the eBook!), and it is a great blessing to use the talents God gave us and put them together.
I have extended family who helps out when needed. My mother-in-law is willing to come whenever I call and ask for help. Recently I was so overwhelmed, my husband was getting ready for finals and I was swamped with business work and house work. I called her up and asked if the children could spend the night, something we don’t do very often at all. They ended up staying two nights and I was able to get caught up on a lot of things. My sister also lives 5 minutes away from me and watches the children for me sometimes.
Nana reading to Carrianna
Hopefully this helps you realize that I’m not super mommy, and that I don’t have all the answers of how to keep a smooth running household all the time. If you want to chat with a mother like that, talk to Michelle Duggar. 🙂 She is the closest to a super mommy that I know of!
Love this post, Caroline… and love your honesty! I am right there with you, right down to the five little ones! Like you, I do a lot but there is a lot I don’t do right now, too.
I was googling “modestly pretty” and one of the photos from your blog post “Formal Parties and Dressing Modestly…It Can Be Done!” came up.. so then I looked around some more and read this post.. I feel like you took a page out of my book!! I am a lot like you.. I have 5 children (ages 9 and under), I run a small home business (only my business is crocheting), I have a blog (Yelena’s Nest), and I homeschool (we use A Beka).. I had a friend’s daughter who came over once a week for about a month and it was such a blessing to me! Our house is not always perfectly clean and organized, and I too want to please my husband who likes a neat and tidy home. Some days I nail it, and others not so much.. Anyway. Your blog is definitely going into my list of blogs to keep up with!!
Yelena,
I’m so glad you found the blog and that you can relate! It is wonderful to find other ladies in the same situations that we are in. 🙂
Thank you for sharing! Very encouraging! We’re expecting our 3rd in July and sometimes I feel very overwhelmed.
Thank you so much for this post very encouraging. I was wondering about the online reading program – I have been struggling with teaching my youngest to read my other children went to public school until 4th & 5th grade then we moved and started home school so I missed this step with them and have been at a lost with my little one. I was wondering did you buy just the software or do you use the whole bundle with the books and cards? The bundle is a little pricey do they ever run sales? thanks for the info
Amy,
I actually won this program in a blog giveaway! I was SO excited when they said I was the grand prize winner and had won the whole bundle! I would not have spent this much money myself, so it was a blessing. So far I like the program a lot, and my daughter is able to navigate her way around easily.
My answer when people wonder how I do it all is “I don’t. It is only by the grace of God. Without Him I couldn’t do all I do”
That is a perfect answer! 🙂
Thanks for this post. We have 3 under 5 and I am. Currently pregnant with #4 due in July. We have our own business and work a lot of late nights. We do everything for pur business ourselves. It’s not easy but we love it.
Thank you for your transparency! I am new to the whole homeschool mom/homemaker scene. I used to be an RN working 12 hour shifts, so we were never home! Now I homeschool my two oldest girls (8 and 6) while trying to keep up with my busy 3 year old on top of filling a brand new role of pastor’s wife while trying to keep my house somewhat in order! It’s been an overwhelming first year, and I sometimes read other wonderful blog sites and feel so terribly inadequate. I, too, do three simple meals a day. I feel I spend the majority of my time in the kitchen, in the laundry room, or at the table with my girl’s schoolwork. Who has time to do ANYTHING else??? I have no idea how to make other things happen other than simply keeping hot meals on a clean table, keeping everyone in clean clothes, and teaching my girls. (we use Horizons) Blog posts like yours make me feel much better about my simple, yet earnest, attempts. Thank you so much, and God bless!
here is the thing about homeschool, a friend and I both are trying to run our own businesses ( I have put a hold on mine) and manage a household, while homeschooling lots of small children. We as parents aren’t real with eachother. Homeschooling is dirty, messy and hard…. not in a literal sense. When homeschooling 3 little ones, entertaining 2 toddlers and trying to keep the baby quiet while in my 1st trimester… yeah it’s dirty… dishes… laundry… juice from the oranges we ate at breakfast… we are rarely where I want us to be in our school year. They are always a head by almost too much in the subjects they love, which poses a problem with the other books that are supposed to coincide with these… I often feel as though we are just drudging along. But I still feels it’s the best for my children. They are getting an education they wont receive in school outside of the home and often we have science experiments that are spontaneous. My daughter (6) asked jokingly what hot-cold-and warm water would be.. so we got cups of each at breakfast and did a little experiment. Life in the fast lane of homeschooling is often what makes us miss these moments to teach… I would rather live in the drudgery of it all to have these precious moments… like when my son walked in to the kitchen after I made blueberry muffins and said “it smells like Bethlehem in here”… for now they are running around the house and screaming when they are supposed to be getting dressed and doing chores… I guess screen time is over.
I forgot to say my friend and I were talking about this topic the other day
Well put, Lindsay! I only have two little ones, neither of them homeschooling age yet, but I so often hear homeschool moms talking about what a rotten job they’re doing. I taught in public schools for two years and I just want to reach out to them and tell them that no matter how poorly they think they’re doing, they are still giving them FAR more than what they’d receive in the public schools. I think homeschool moms often have set their expectations higher than what reality dictates.
Caroline,
Thank you so much for this post! We are returning to homeschooling. One of my reasons for sending my children to school is because I felt like I couldn’t “do it all”. I’ve realized that I need to get my priorities in place and simplify. With 6 young children, this is so important! Kind of off topic, but I love the jean skirt that your daughter is wearing in your family picture! Is it from Deborah and Co.?
The jean skirt is from Old Navy…I think it was a garage sale find. 🙂
Love this, Caroline!!
I also run a small business and a blog, run kids to school everyday, and even help my hubby with his mail route. This post makes me feel like I’m not such a bad mom simply because I somehow fit in the stuff I have to do, while loving it, too.
Thank you!
Thank you for being so honest!
Not long ago I asked myself how you do it all when I feel overwhelmed with my four ones without homeschooling (it is not allowed here in Germany) and a business.
It is very encouraging to see, that nobody has everything perfect!
Blessings
Stephanie
Amen, sister! I recently wrote about the same thing and had people stopping me in the halls at work to thank me for being so honest.
Thank you for this post! It’s so well timed for me.
I love this post! I like you even more now 🙂 lol
Thank you so much for your honesty, Caroline! It’s reassuring to read that your house sounds a lot like our house. Saving this post for future encouragement.
I’m glad it was encouraging for you! 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Michelle Duggar is amazing, but I doubt she’d consider herself a super mommy, either. I’ve only got 3 children (one is almost 20, the other two are homeschooled – ages 10 and 12). Although I don’t have a large family, I learned a lot of great tips from “Large Family Logistics.” That book is amazing. If anyone wants to get more organized, read it (it was at our library).
Even Michelle Duggar tells everyone that there are cheerios stuck to her kitchen floor and the camera crew has learned to shoot the good angles. I’ve got 8 children (ages 2-14) at home, 1 in boot camp and we are still grieving the loss of our baby (stillborn 6 weeks ago) if I make forward progress everyday I am happy!
I am so sorry for your loss mama. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family during this difficult time.