Formal Parties and Dressing Modestly…It Can Be Done!
A reader writes:
“I LOVE your blog and store! You’ve been such an inspiration to me!! I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I am looking for something to wear to my mother’s wedding reception. She’s getting married in a destination wedding but then is coming back home to have a huge party…and I have no idea what to wear that would be cute but also modest. It’s going to be an eying outdoor party…in June in Tennessee….so it will be HOT!! Kind of an upscale type of party. I’ve been really working hard to dress modestly since January of this year….made the “switch” so to speak to skirts/dresses only. This will be the first time I’ve gone to a party of any kind and dressed modestly….normally I would probably have worn a little formal sundress….anyways, any tips or ideas? Most of the dresses I could think of are immodest on top…ad I’m not really sure if one of your shell would look right under that type of dress….what do you think?”
That’s a great question, and rest assured it is possible to attend this event and dress modestly! It just requires a different mindset. Instead of wearing that short sundress, you can wear a long, feminine outfit that will make you feel pretty AND modest at the same time!
When my sister and I were shopping for something to wear to our Mother’s memorial service, we quickly realized that dressing more formal yet modestly required layers. I don’t think the shell would look right with the type of dress you need, but there are other options available!
I found some formal and not so formal outfits to share, as I wasn’t sure exactly how formal you wanted to look.
Everyone’s style and colors they prefer vary widely, but if I were to attend something like this here are some outfits I would pick from:
These colors are not for everyone but the cut of the dress is pretty modest…and the empire waist is a flattering style.
This is one of my favorite ones I found! I wish the dress came up a little higher at the neckline, and slightly lower at the hemline, but overall this is a very pretty dress!
This dress is long, flowing and very feminine looking! The problem is that it really does not have any sleeves, and the neckline is a bit low. You could find a cami that is a little dressier with lace on top to wear under it, and layer it with a shrug like this:
Or you could get this lovely long maxi skirt:
And wear this lovely ruffle top with it.
Here is a Maxi Dress that obviously needs some work on the neckline and sleeves, but I see some possibilities with it!
This dress could be layered with this camisole
And then wear this shrug over it
I’m not sure if you want that much black at a wedding, but it gives you an idea of how to layer with maxi dresses.
Here is an outfit put together on Polyvore for inspiration.
I would take a day where you can go shopping with yourself and maybe your husband or a girlfriend who can give you ideas of what looks good on you. Don’t forget to hit the thrift stores and your local consignment stores to see what you might find there. I hope you find the *perfect* outfit. 🙂
Formal wear can be very difficult, especially these days. I love the options that Caroline posted. I have occasionally found some formal/party type dresses at http://www.chadwicks.com. There are also so pretty, feminine dresses at http://www.coldwatercreek.com. I have found you may have to pay a little more for modesty, but in the end it “pays” off:) You may find a more simple dress, that you can add accessories to in order to dress it up. Hope this is helpful.
Shabby Apple is an online dress store that sells modest and very pretty items. It might be worth a look. 🙂
I know a lot of ladies suggest Shabby Apple as a great resource for modest clothing, but I just can’t recommend them as very few of the dresses they sell are modest to my standards. Many of the dresses/skirts do not even cover the knee, so unless you are really petite your knees would be showing.
Those are some wonderful outfits. I think I can use this advice as well for my work outfits and everyday wear. Wonderful!
Check out http://www.sweetinnocencedresses.com
Not much layering required here!
I love all of your ideas, Caroline. I’ve been dressing modestly for about 12 years (since I was 18). I thought I would share a link to a picture on my blog. It is what I wore on Easter. It’s not formal…just a cute maxi dress from Old Navy that I had to get a camisole from Wal Mart to go under it, and I got a cardigan from Old Navy to go over it. It kind of gives an idea of what the layering with more than 2 pieces (and I wasn’t burning up all day 🙂 ).
Thank you for posting this! When I saw the title, I was thinking formals, as in prom dresses or bridesmaid dresses or formal work party dresses, but these are all lovely as well. I’m very disappointed in the school I used to attend because when I went there, there were guidelines for senior banquet (we didn’t have a prom…no dancing, just a fancy dinner and activities). Our dresses straps had to be a certain width, they had to be below the knee, the back couldn’t fall below the natural bra line, and they couldn’t show any cleavage. Some of the girls had to alter their dresses, add straps, add material to a v-neck, etc., but we made it work. I look at current pictures from people who still go there and see that their standards are pretty much gone. Strapless, short dresses with low cut fronts seem to be the style at senior banquet now. It’s really sad. So after reading your post, I went on a search to see if there are formals out there that are modest. I know that walking around the mall, you won’t find them. I found these two sites and that makes me think there has to be even more available. These dresses are lovely and although they’re expensive, I don’t think they’re probably much more expensive than what is in department stores.
http://totallymodest.com/sub.php?CatId=41854#subtitle
http://www.aformalchoice.com/Long-Modest-Prom-&-Formal-dresses-size-7-10.html
http://www.beautifullymodest.com/categories/Prom-Clearance/
Not all the dresses on all these sites are modest, but they all have a good variety of options. And I guess it is just encouraging to me to see that there are still options out there.
Ha! I forgot to add the link to the picture!
http://heathfamily7.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/img_4917.jpg
I LOVE your outfit! Thank you for sharing!
I love the outfit ideas you pulled together. Finding something for a formal event is even harder than day-to-day modesty, but just as important. Throw in pregnancy or nursing and you’ve got even more to figure out. I’ve been thinking about that ever since my hubby told me that there would likely be a “ball” for work this summer (military). I think I’ll end up sewing a floor length skirt and getting a blouse to go with it.
I was going through this same problem shopping for an outfit for y sister in laws bridal shower. I unfortunately can’t pick the bridesmaid dress, and that isn’t quite up to my personal standards for modesty, but it’s her wedding and I respect that. 🙂
Hi! I am a Christian mom and also a wardrobe stylist. I absolutely love the idea of a maxi skirt (ankle-length). To make it formal, choose a fabric other than cotton or linen. Add a long sleeve cotton collar button down shirt…roll up the sleeves a couple of times, and add either a statement necklace or a few statement bangles around one wrist. one final touch to complete the formal look: a clutch.
I’m with Courtney – it’s all about fabric choice. If you choose something shiny (silk, satin, polyester prints) it can be formal. Cut, design, detail and accessories can make it more formal, like the ruffles, or trim, laces, etc.
Caroline – You did a great job with these suggestions and ideas. It is obvious you really wanted to be helpful. The dresses you suggested are all lovely and appropriate for the occasion. I also like how you gave ideas to make some dresses work that just needed a shrug or something underneath. Love your blog.
LOVE these ideas!
I love these ideas! Maxi’s dresses layered with a tank and jacket/sweater is very cute!
One word about shrugs, though… I’d encourage you to ask a brother or husband to make sure that he feels that they are modest. My dad feels that they emphasize the bust too much.
Last summer I spent some time in TX heat, and let me tell you: when the temperature reaches a certain point, you are going to feel HOT no matter what you wear. Showing skin won’t make you feel cool and comfy, and a little extra fabric won’t make you miserable. Actually, if the materials are right, they might keep you a little cooler since your skin is not in direct sunlight.
What I would do…
…wear light fabrics made from natural materials. Linen and silk or silk/cotton blend would be great.
…wear a beautiful, formal hat. Preferably a brimmed one, so it will provide some much-needed shade.
…make sure my clothing not clingy. A nice, a-line maxi skirt would be ideal, though finding formal alternatives might be difficult. I’d also avoid tiered or crinkled maxi skirts for formal occassions.
…check out pretty tunic tops.
…check out light jackets that provide both a formal look and some coverage. Again, linen and silk blends would be great materials for summer. Avoid jackets with polyester lining.
…coordinate colors. Mixing patterns usually makes the look more casual, muted colors give a more formal air.
… layer so that the garments do not create extra layers. For example: wear a sleeveless top with a jacket instead of a 3/4 sleeve top. See if slightly too low neckline can be hidden by wearing a lightweight scarf instead of a top etc.