Do You Sound Like A Fool Online?
Do you ever stop to think before you type something out online? It can be so easy to just randomly type out our thoughts and hit the publish button without giving any thought as to how it might injure someone.
Facebook seems to be the easiest place to give shoot and drive comments. You know, the ones where you read a blog post, get all stirred up about it and quickly leave a sharp, cutting remark and walk away feeling proud of yourself for standing up for the truth?
But is it really the whole truth?
As Christian women, do we really have to appear so hardened and free to give whatever cutting remark we want to, in the name of defending the truth? I recently read this Proverbs to my children:
“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11
Ouch. I can tell you that I’ve both read and been on the receiving end of comments where it seemed like the individual making them held absolutely nothing back. They made an extra effort to ensure their words were as cutting as they could be. I wonder if these individuals ever stopped to think and pray about their comments before hitting the send button? Did they ever consider how speaking their whole mind to another person that they hardly know could make them look foolish or even un-Christian?
As a blogger, I can be the first to tell you that comments can hurt. It’s not necessarily the ones where someone might say they don’t like a certain color or hairstyle on you. Rather it’s the comments that are written with a contentious spirit. You can feel the intent of the comment as soon as you start to read it. It’s meant to be divisive, contrary, and hurtful.
“He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife…” Proverbs 28:25
Do you like causing strife? Are you known for your strong opinions, your quick tongue, and the way you can so freely express yourself with little to no filter?
We read aloud Proverbs 31 a few days ago, and my daughter asked if that chapter was talking about a princess. 🙂 It does seem that way sometimes – there is a lot to live up to in that chapter!
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
She might have wisdom she wants to bring forth, but she does it in a kind and charitable way. Trying to sway someone to think another way rarely ever happens during a Facebook exchange. How many back and forth arguments on a blog do you think ever successfully changed someone’s mind? Sometimes online arguing is only successful at flaring up tempers and raising blood pressure. Feelings get hurt, the blogger gets immensely discouraged, and the readers involved in the discussion never come back. In the end, it doesn’t benefit anyone, and it certainly isn’t promoting Christian love and charity.
I’m not suggesting that you can’t ever speak up in opposition to someone online. There might be a time where you truly do need to say something. However, I’ve found that for as much time as I spend online, I rarely leave opposing comments. I easily could, as I have read quite a few things over the years that I disagree with. But I have more important things to do than to spend my time and energy trying to change someone’s mind on Facebook or through a blog comment. I have children in the background who need me to get off the computer. I have dinner that needs cooked, a husband to love on. That husband definitely doesn’t need to hear me rant all evening long about a discussion I’m in the middle of and how wrong the other person is.
Whether you agree or disagree with the subject of doctrine, vaccinations, head coverings, submission in marriage, homeschooling/public school, or how to raise children, please don’t let it consume you to the point that all you are doing online is defending your stance on these things. Some people love controversy and debates. They can’t get enough of them. If you read through the New Testament, you will find the arguments that the disciples used were simple and to the point. Many times when questioned by the leaders of the land they said very little, or nothing at all. We could stand to learn something from these godly men of old as we navigate the web.
Excellent blog post.
Thank you for this post!
Bravo! Thank you for your wisdom and guts in sharing this. Let’s do our best to “live peaceably with all” and “let [our] speech be alway with grace”.
Such a wonderful post, Caroline. We have all been on the receiving end of this kind of hurt, and you would think, that alone would make us never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone else. But, sometimes we override what we know is best, because we feel so driven to express our views and hammer home what we perceive to be the truth, regardless of who we hurt in the process. This post was so edifying and needful and such a blessing to me today! God bless you and your sweet family. You are a shining light for Him. 🙂
So sorry to hear that some replies have been insensitive and hurtful. You are so right, sometimes we can say things off the top of our heads without really thinking it through. It reminds me of the scriptures, ‘A soft answer turns away wrath’ and ‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry’. I have been guilty of this. Thank you for this wonderful post! Keep on fighting the good fight. Blessings.
I know what you mean about feeling the intent behind the comment as soon as you start to read it. The worst one I ever got, and one of only 2 comments I’ve ever declined to publish, started out with something like , “OK, I’m gonna try to be civil here…” But the underlying tone said, “I hate you!”
Personally I bless Facebook because it lets me speak my mind and then hit DELETE before I send! Wish I had that in real life!
Wonderful post, thank you for these reminders!
hmm…I agree we should not be ill intentioned or have arguments for the sake of arguments. Yet, I don’t see anything wrong with having strong opinions and affirming them. And I’ve often seen you defend your strong opinions on this blog too 🙂 I appreciated when you stood up on the issue of Vision Forum.
I believe the verse from Proverbs 29:11 was quoted out of context because the chapter in Proverbs refers to foolish disputes and quarrels, not actual discussions on important/truth issues. Whenever the apostles spoke about defending the truth, doctrine, or matters of Christian living, they use words such as “exhort & rebuke with all authority”, “admonish” and “refute”. Even the apostle Paul publicly rebuked Peter when he was wrong. And the disciples had no filter either when they were questioned by the leaders of the land 🙂 Remember Stephen lashed out at them saying:
“You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears!” (Acts 7:51). These are all very cutting and direct indeed.
So I feel that when you label those who have “strong opinions” as “foolish” because they express them in a bold and direct manner online, you are devaluing apologetics ministries like: apprising.org, letusreason.org, solasisters.com, youroriginsmatter.com, and many others who hold debates on blogs, websites, forums, comments etc. And they do it not because they think they will change someone’s mind, but because they value the truth. So wouldn’t you agree that Christ calls us to be bold, precise and direct when we stand up for the right Biblical issues?
In His grace,
Rebekah
Well written!