Why I Choose to Home birth and Love It!
Choosing to home birth can be a touchy subject for some ladies. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to be as controversial as vaccinations (I’m not even going down that road!), but I still receive some comments from people about how brave I am to have a home birth.
I always have to chuckle at those comments, because giving birth in a hospital would require a lot more bravery out of me than a home birth.
That might seem strange to some ladies, but I feel so much more confident to give birth in my own house, versus a cold hospital full of unfamiliar sights and sounds. As the saying goes, there’s no place like home.
With that being said, I have certain requirements for having a home birth.
- I will not birth at home without a professional midwife. I would never purposefully choose to birth at home without a midwife. Of course there can be times when the midwife doesn’t make it and the dad ends up delivering, but that can happen en route to the hospital as well!
I feel like God has given me responsibility over a new baby from the moment of conception. If something were to happen during delivery, my husband would not have the knowledge to know what to do. Fortunately we have always had really wonderful deliveries, but we did have one scare with meconium and the midwife had her oxygen on hand in case the baby needed it.
When I choose a midwife I want to feel capable of trusting her with the life of my baby. I want to know that she will make wise choices and will transfer us to the hospital if something serious comes up. Thankfully, I’ve had such a midwife with all my births, and have never had a reason to distrust their capabilities.
- I will transport to the hospital if an emergency comes up. I’m not opposed to medical intervention if problems arise, because I know many babies have been saved through help only available at hospitals. If I went into pre-term labor weeks early I would be at the hospital. Likewise, if something arises at home during the labor that concerns my midwife or myself, I will transport.
- I won’t give birth to multiples at home. At least I don’t think I would. 🙂 The risk of needing a little help goes up with having multiples, and while I’ve read many good birth stories of home births with twins, I’m not sure I would try it.
Some women want desperately to birth at home but for one reason or another it just doesn’t happen. My heart goes out to those who feel like they have failed because they give birth in the hospital. There is no absolute right way of giving birth and what works for one is impossible for someone else.
 I’ve been really blessed in my home births. Some reasons I love to birth at home are:
- I can labor on my own schedule. I normally have pre-labor for days or even weeks. There is no pressure to go into the hospital at a certain point. I just labor as needed and call my midwife when contractions get intense.
- I feel relaxed at home. It’s my own enviroment and I feel safe there. Because I’m more relaxed I feel like I labor more efficiently.
- While the hospital can provide a lot of good care, a downside is that you can pick up an illness at the hospital. I don’t have to worry about that.
- I feel empowered, and in charge of my home birth. I don’t mean empowered in a strange new age way. Rather, I feel confident in my ability to give birth because the entire process is designed by God. My midwife encourages me to feel my baby’s head when it is crowning. I was more involved in actually grabbing my baby as she was being born with our last one and we do instant skin to skin bonding. The midwife checks the baby’s stats as I’m holding it, and we have all the time together we need. We can do delayed cord clamping, and start breastfeeding as soon as we want. I know all these things can happen at a good hospital, but it’s not always encouraged.
- After I give birth I can go straight to my bed and snuggle with a new baby. My husband and sister are really good about cleaning up the birth pool mess, for which I’m really grateful. We can have our children come back home as quickly as we want, or take a little more time to rest if needed.
When I give birth this month it will be our sixth home birth. Every birth has been unique and has a different story. The one thing that has not changed in all of them is the peace I feel at home, and how grateful I am to be there through every labor.
I’d love to hear where you prefer to give birth at! I know there are fantastic hospital birth stories, as well as birth center and home birth stories out there!
I am so with you on the truth of homebirth! God designed women to have babies and if we just put the trust we need to in him he will help us thru the delivery. I believe that when we choose to do it mans way and not trust him is when we end up in less than desirable situations. Being at home is such peace and less chaos and more healing quicker for you and the baby.God has been so good in allowing me to find great and knowledgable midwives and be safe thru all my births at home.
I pray you have a safe and enjoyable birth!
I love this post, Caroline! And I so agree!
My husband and I have been blessed with three wonderful home births (and two healthy hospital births). I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything!
You look radiant in your pictures, sweet mama! Very happy and excited about your new little one!
Thank you Kristy! I’ve heard so many women say once they have experienced both types of births, they always want to do it at home if possible!
Loved this post! Our first baby was born at home, with the help of a wonderfully skilled midwife. Our 2nd is due in October and we’re planning to deliver at home again, Lord willing. Praying you have a smooth labor and delivery!
I love this! I gave birth to my first last year at a birth center, and while I absolutely loved doing it there, I think we will shoot for a home birth next time, for many of the same reasons you have listed. 🙂 looking forward to seeing your birth announcement soon!
I really wanted a home birth with my last two babies, but it just wasn’t possible for one reason or another (it is close to illegal in the state we live in currently). I had my first in a hospital, and although everything turned out ok, it was not a great experience for me or the baby.
We went to a birth center (in Australia, where we lived when our first two were born) for the birth of our second baby, and it was a great experience. Most of the things you listed as reasons you enjoy a home birth were the same reasons I enjoyed the birth center. Except we didn’t get to go straight to our own bed. ha
With our 3rd, exactly 18 months ago today, I had a water birth for the first time, in a birth center here in NC. It was so close to a home birth experience! It was wonderful, and we went home within 3.5 hours of the birth.
If I could legally do so, I would still love to have a home birth (if we ever have another baby) but the birth center is a close second for me. 🙂
I’m tearing up reading this post. I was a high-risk mama, and ended up having a placental abruption at 35 was 1 day gestation. They put me completely under and did an emergency c-section. After waking up, I was only allowed to hold my baby for a couple minutes before they life-flighted her away to a bigger hospital/NICU where she stayed for several weeks. I’ve always felt like a failure in this area, especially since I didn’t get to bond with her the way I wanted. The doctors told us we had it been a few more minutes, neither of us would’ve survived, and it’s a miracle I was able to carry her as long as I did. (Initially I was told I’d probably have tohave 7-8 miscarraiges before being able to carry a baby long enough to be viable, but she was my first pregnancy). It was the hardest time in my life, but my husband and I grew that much closer and relied more on God than ever as our faith was tested. I know without a doubt God is behind that miracle that we prayed for and that He is ultimately in control and will work through whatever medical means we have to help us. I long to be able to have another, and am only able to dream if a home birth experience. So far, it looks like we’re only meant to have one (another area I feel like a failure at times). One day I’ll have the answers, as we all will for our own journeys. I will always be grateul that our daughter is perfectly happy and healthy and has no lasting effects from the birth. Thank you for a beautiful post on life and reminding us that God is the giver of life.
You are not a failure at all! You have a baby, and God blessed you so much to have her! The end result of pregnancy is a baby, however it has to come to get here. I’m just so thankful I don’t live in the Prairie days, can you imagine giving birth under difficult situations then? :/
It sounds like your daughter is a huge blessing!!
I shared my story already, and I must say that I much preferred the birthing center! That said, I am grateful for hospitals. I had thoughts about the “prairie days” after having my son. If I had lived back then and had the same thing happen, we would both be dead. I’m thankful an OR was only 5 minutes away!
I do not know where to choose if the Lord gives us another. While I loved the birthing center, I had to be transferred last time, so I’m not sure that would be the best choice for me now. I’m leaning toward a hospital birth with a midwife. Anyone done that?? For now I’m just making a future pregnancy and birth a matter of prayer! I think that is key. There is no perfect place for everyone. God knows where is best for each situation.
I have had 2 hospital births and 2 home births all with midwives. I prefer my home births by far but I had awesome midwives in the hospital. All of the parts that I disliked about the hospital had to do with the hospital staff and policies, nothing to do with my midwives, though often their hands were tied with hospital procedure. My first hospital birth, the midwife was older and had more authority with the staff and I had a better experience because she just waved away many standard procedures. My second was with a different midwife as the first had retired. It was the same hospital but the Dr. who oversaw my midwife and I did not get along at all and I ended up having to comply with interventions that I did not want just to keep my midwife who was the only one in town at that time. She agreed with me that it was not necessary but her hands were tied because he was her boss. He even threatened to drop me from the practice if I refused the IV port. All that to say, yes, you can have a great experience with a midwife at the hospital but even if you midwife understands your wants and needs, the rest of the hospital staff likely will not.
You are not alone, Katie! I had a similar experience. I had my first child at a birthing center no problem. Then my second pregnancy went perfectly normal as well, until one day at 32 weeks, I had a placental abruption and delivered emergency cesarean. Not fun. I was so drugged and unable to move, it was over 30 hrs. later that I saw my son in the Nicu. I remember friends visiting me and asking about the baby, and all I could do was point to a picture that someone had printed and framed, and tell them “that’s what he looks like-I haven’t seen him yet.” Talk about lack of bonding! I’ve since learned that bonding doesn’t have to begin at birth. Honestly, I don’t think I had that “amazing bonding” with my med-free birth, either. I was so clueless and exhausted- along with trouble nursing- I really don’t have fond memories of the newborn days like so many others seem to have. God’s grace is is amazing, though, and I have learned to love my children and long to have another!
I agree that you are not a failure. Not at all. You’re not a failure because you had a traumatic birth. You’re not a failure if you have one child. It’s easy to compare and be jealous of other moms who have 4 or 5(or more) problem-free births…I’m reminding myself this!! But we must keep praying, trusting that God is in control and that he will give what is best.
That’s fine and good as long as you realize that hospital births can also be, and often are “empowering”. I didn’t feel that way with my first baby, although he was the only one I delivered with no pain meds. I felt powerless and out of control. I was a physical and emotional mess by the time he made it into the world. My next 3 babies I went to the hospital and got the epidural. I have never felt more empowered. I got to be “me” while meeting my babies. I was laughing while giving birth to my last 3 children, thanking God out loud, not trying to control the intense pain and feeling all alone.
And believe me, the hospital rooms definitely weren’t cold and unfamiliar by the time my second one came along (my hospital has birthing suites anyway) but instead they were reminiscent of my previous births. In fact, I felt like I was “home” because in those rooms are where I met my precious children. Anyway, the subject is somewhat moot for me anyway since it is illegal to have a planned home birth in my state.
Ditto!
I definitely agree with this wonderful post! I’ve birthed at home for all three of mine, & can’t imagine doing it any other way. I’m all for transporting if there’s an emergency, but thankfully, that has not ever been my experience. Birth is a natural process designed by God, & I like to keep it relaxed & low-key. Which is easy for me to do at home. I’ve enjoyed wonderful births. My last one was was just an hour & a half labor & the little one beat the midwife! Dear hubby had the honor of delivering her. That was the most fantastic experience we have ever had! But as you said, birthing at home isn’t for everyone, & we all need to do what we feel the Lord leading us to do. Blessings as you prepare for the new arrival!
I would have loved to do all home births, with all my children (4), I had uterine, & kidney failure’ s with all. The last one my daughter I started preterm labor at 18 weeks, I laid in bed the whole pregnancy finally had her at 30 weeks, I had to have an emergency C-section the cord was shorter then normal she had it wrapped around her neck & shoulder. Every time I had a contraction she would rip my uterus, I bleed out, my daughter was born dead, she was my last baby, I couldn’t have any more. They are all my blessings, a special gift from God, I wasn’t suppose to have had children. 7 miscarriages, 4 live births, God is GREAT!!!!
I had my first three in hospital (the first one in a military hospital!) and my last one in a home birth and if I had it to do over again, they would have ALL been home birthed. Such a wonderful experience and what a blessing you get to enjoy!
I would love to have a home birth! First, I would need to get pregnant, which I’m not sure will ever happen… that’s a whole other subject :/ my husband and I have been trying for over a year and have recently started looking into adoption. Just over a year may not seem like a lot… but I just have this feeling that I can’t get pregnant.
Nonetheless, even if I were to get pregnant, I would be considered high risk because of cavernous malformations in my brain that can cause bleeds, and the risk is heightened during pregnancy. Despite the desire to just naturally and quickly get pregnant, enjoy a home birth, and live “happily ever after.” I know God works differently, and I’d rather have a safe delivery and healthy baby (as well as a safe pregnancy, which may not be possible with my health condition, thus God not allowing me to get pregnant).
I gave birth to our first child, a boy at home. It was such a wonderful experience but hard. I am very petite but gained 40 lbs very easily. They whole pregnancy and still I get comments on how my body was not capable and no one really believed in me except my hubby and midwife! I used all their negative comments during labor and it gave me motivation! I knew God had made me petite but still able to give birth. I trusted him and we have a healthy one year old now (:
Love this post! All four of ours have been born at home with a midwife – that is, all except our newest, who decided to come too quickly for us even to call the midwife. (All of my birth stories are on the sidebar of my website!) I am so excited for your little one’s upcoming birth, and I can’t wait to see pictures when you post!! I’ll be praying for a safe and smooth birth for you and baby!
I wish you the best with your delivery. I normally love your posts, but this one I am a bit sensitive about. It is fine to say that you will just transport if something goes wrong, but you do not always have that kind of time. In fact, if I had not been at the hospital I was at when I had my first, he would not have lived, and I don’t know what would have happened to me. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his heart rate dropped to about 50 in a matter of seconds. It wasn’t even a matter of being at a hospital vs. being at home. We live near half a dozen hospitals and any of the other ones in the area do not mobilize fast enough for emergency surgery. There is a reason that the mother and infant mortality rate has gone down in the last 50 to 100 years. I know that you can get all kinds of infections in hospitals and doctors are c-section happy these days, but in a true emergency they save lives.
This caught my eye because I went through something similar… My son had the cord wrapped around his neck… I had a hospital birth with a midwife… She noticed the situation, had me stop pushing, she cut the cord and I delivered my little blue baby boy. He pinked up though without oxygen… Later I’ve learned that the cord being around the baby’s neck is fairly common and many mother’s have delivered at mom even in that situation… This helped me with delivering my last baby at a very small hospital… I was nervous about not being at the biggest, best equipped hospital…
I do want to bring a bit of encouragement to all mamas. I had our first in the hospital and it was a wonderful experience, despite 27 hour of labor and being poked and “checked” on all the time. I have also had four home births. ALL of which have been with midwives who are professional and if there is a problem, they will know and almost always it can be taken care at home, or in an emergency, a trip to the hospital. I know personally a story of a mom who very recently was at home trying to deliver their 8th baby. The midwife checking on her noticed some things. Decided they needed to transfer and that baby was delivered at the hospital. But she had 7 healthy home births. We should not fear giving birth at home. I believe every one has a different story. Yours is different then mine and mine is different from yours. Home birth is completely safe. There are many things that happen wrong at the hospitals. If God is giving a husband and wife “peace” that Home is the best place for birth, then it is not up to us to judge and say that ONLY hospitals is the place for all babies to be born. It wasn’t true for Jesus. Are we to judge where God chose for His only Son to be born? All to say, let us encourage Caroline and not judge. Her birth story will be a wonderful, peaceful one.
I’m not married or anything so I can’t weigh in on the topic, but I love to hear your thoughts.
By the way…. I’m pretty sure the website/watermark in the bottom corner of your pictures is incorrect. I tried to find themodestmom.com but it didn’t lead to this blog until I typed in themodestmomblog.com. Just want to make sure you get credit when these images end up on pinterest. 😉
Lauren,
We now have themodestmom.com directed to this website, so it will work correctly now! Thanks for pointing that out. 🙂
We had 3 homebirths and so far one hospital birth. The only reason we had a hospital birth, and hope to have another one in a couple weeks, is that we are in another country where they don’t support homebirth. I prefer homebirth, but am thankful for the option of hospitals if needed. I hope the birth of your baby goes well. I enjoy following your blog. Thanks for all the encouraging words!
Blessings
I had my last four babies at home (in water!) and absolutely loved the experience! I am the mom to ten children, and although my hospital births were good ones, if I had to do it again I would have them ALL at home 🙂
I had all five of my girls in hospitals. The hospital is not cold. I put a lot of effort in finding a good doctor and that made all the difference. With my last two, I went to the maternity center at the hospital a couple of weeks before giving birth and talked with the head nurse about not wanting my baby to be vaccinated, no antibiotics in the eyes, etc., and they were very happy to comply. Hospital births are a lot different than they used to be. I am proud of my hospital births! And it would be difficult to get sick there, at least for me. The maternity center is separate from the rest of the hospital, and has very restricted visitor rules. I went home the next day, too.
I am glad things have gone well for you at home. But, it is not for every woman. Emergency situations and complications do happen. They can happen in the hospital, too, but the ER is right there. I would not want to be at home if something bad would happen.
Thanks for your honest thoughts and for clearly articulating your choice to home birth, Caroline. I spent a lot of time praying about and discussing this with my husband in our first pregnancy. Because we live in an apartment, we decided we were most comfortable delivering in a hospital. I labored at home for the majority of the time for both my children – the second one for more than a week! – so I understand what you mean about being comfortable. 🙂 I do praise God that He allowed us to go to a hospital because we needed immediate medical interventions both times, even though I had low-risk pregnancies and there were no warning signs (our first daughter inhaled meconium and required a specialist’s care and I had a very frightening post-labor hemorrhage 4 hours after delivering our second daughter). Either way, God is always sovereign over the situation! And I do believe it is so important that we always make our decisions out of love and not fear, trusting in His good will for our families no matter where or how we give birth. 🙂
Side note: an excellent read I recommend to many expecting mothers is “The Christian Childbirth Handbook” by Jennifer Vanderlaan, a Christian midwife. I thought she did an excellent job of explaining how pregnancy, labor/delivery and post-partum are ways of growing closer to the Lord even as she goes through the practical explanations of what to expect in labor and various strategies for laboring. She also handles these delicate subjects very well, with lots of questions for self-reflection as each parent anticipates the arrival of their child.
My biggest desire for my first birth was to be like the women on the news that accidentally gave birth at home because they didn’t know they were in labor. Well, it happened, I had no idea how far along I was until it was too late to leave the house! I have since had 2 more in a women’s hospital and although they were good experiences I would much rather stay home. We couldn’t do it due to finances (insurance won’t cover it here) but hopefully we can if there is another baby 🙂 It was just SO relaxing to be in your comfort zone and actually have COMFORTABLE places to sit/lay/labor!
We planned on an all natural water birth at a birthing center but because of a very minor complication had to switch last minute to a hospital birth. I wasn’t prepared at all for the environment and pressures of a hospital birth. Nothing went as planned and I was so disappointed. BUT my baby and I were both healthy in the end and that is what matters the most. It really took more faith for me to have a birth in the hospital than at the birthing center. I would encourage all home birth mamas to really research hospital births and make up a birth plan in the event of a hospital birth way before your due date. Research all of those “interventions” that you aren’t planning on so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby in the event that things don’t go as you planned.
my last two have been at home- my first two were hospital/epidurals. due to the lasting emotional impact of my first birth and the physical impact for my son in my second birth, i would never choose to birth at a hospital ever again, unless necessary. hands down, my home(water) births were far safer. and more comfortable. but birth is very mental, so if a mom feels most comfortable in a center or hospital, that is where i would recommend her go.
I loved reading this post as you echoed many of my thoughts regarding birth. After I had my first baby in a hospital (with a midwife) I started researching home birth. With our second I wanted to birth at home but my husband wasn’t on board with the idea. After our second was born and I shared some new birth research with him he came around (too late , haha). Since then, unfortunately, we haven’t been able to have another baby(6 years) but I’m hopeful that one day I’ll be able to experience the joy of birthing at home. It seems like such a peaceful and natural way to bring a child into the world.
Best wishes on your upcoming birth. You are glowing and look lovely in your pictures!
Great post, Caroline! I have to say, that I was thrilled to find a midwife who would deliver twins at home when we first found out we were pregnant with #4! I was hoping to deliver the triplets at home but my MW there couldn’t do it. Since then I’ve learned how many women (mostly in Europe) can and do deliver triplets at home.
Can’t wait to experience my home birth after cesarean in May/June!! :o)
I loved this post! I am 7 weeks pregnant with my first, after a long time trying. I have been active in the home birth community and always wanted my own! My question for you, since you are a modest lady, is what do you wear during deliveey, especially in the water? Sadly, most women I know birth in just a bra (or less!) I can’t do that, (we plan to have family there) but I don’t want to be in a soggy t shirt for hours, wet and cold, either! Any suggestions?
I normally labor in a loose dress or pajama pants until I get in the birth pool. I don’t labor for hours in the birth pool, so I will wear a shirt in the pool. I just have my husband, sister, and midwife there.
Thank you!
I am so sorry for young mothers that feel pressured in their pregnancy to do things “the right way.” I gave birth to all 3 of my children in the hospital because they were all 3 high risk. I was taken care of marvelously. The nurses and the doctors respected my requests and took the tenderest care of us. I was told by ladies (and even a couple of men) in our church that I wouldn’t bond with my baby if I had an epidural, and had my baby in a hospital. Ignorant and silly comments that only served to scare me and not encourage me. My children are older teenagers, and they serve and love the Lord, and they love me. And I marvel every day at how beautiful and talented and sweet they are. 🙂
I am so grateful that the Lord gave these doctors wisdom to help me through what was a scary time. This was God’s way for me.
When I talk to young, pregnant mothers about my birth experience, I encourage them to get all sides and I don’t discourage them by telling horror stories of lack of bonding, or being out of God’s will for their bodies if they think a hospital or an epidural is right for them.
If I had any sort of complications in my pregnancy, I would transfer without hesitation. I don’t think it’s more spiritual to have a home birth, but I personally think the hospitals can interfere the natural birth process during *normal* births, instead of letting the mother naturally. I think that comment about not bonding with your baby if born at the hospital is not spoken out of truth, just assumptions. I was born in the hospital and my mom bonded with me just fine. 🙂
Everyone has a different way to give birth, I’m just sharing what has worked well for me.