While I previously have tried to avoid sharing super specific guidelines for modesty on the blog, I feel like it would be good to share the rules I have for myself. Hopefully by now you all know me well enough to understand that this isn’t going to be a legalistic post where I shame everyone who doesn’t follow these rules, right?
We all have different convictions – styles, body shapes, husbands (or fathers) who have preferences, etc. Honestly, convictions can change over time. So can body shapes, but that’s a depressing topic to me right now so let’s move on. Hopefully one day I can start working on losing this baby weight.
Let’s dive right in to modesty 101.
First, “Why modesty?”
You have no idea what a loaded question that can be!
Is it to hide our bodies from men so we can keep them from even looking at us?
Are we ashamed of our bodies, and want to cover them from head to toe?
Or maybe we dress modestly because that’s what our church or our religion expects of us, and we hate to be rule breakers, so we wear modest clothing but it’s not really in our hearts.
I’m here to tell you, I don’t wear modest clothing for any of those reasons.
I don’t feel like I have the weight of a man’s lust upon my shoulders. Even if I wore the most modest clothes in the world, a woman can still have a beautiful face that a man can lust over. I definitely keep my brothers in Christ in mind when I’m getting dressed, but I know that I ultimately can’t control every thought they have just by putting on a dress.
I’m not ashamed of who God created me to be. I am a woman. I do have curves and I don’t feel like I have to wear a robe to be modest. However, that doesn’t mean I wear skin tight clothing to reveal all my curves. I love this quote:
Finally, I’m not part of a religion that dictates what clothing I wear, and I’ve written before on how I don’t feel like the classic scripture in Deuteronomy demands that I wear skirts only.
So what’s the big deal then? What’s the big hoopla about modesty?
Some might say it’s a selfish reason, but I want to be considered a lady. I don’t need the postman to see my cleavage when I go to get my mail, and I don’t need the people in the parking lot to see the edges of my underwear when I load the van full of groceries. I want to earn respect from those around me, and part of that comes from how I dress.
Whether you wear strictly skirts and dresses, or you wear jeans, here are a few guidelines that I feel are essential.
- My cleavage needs to be covered. That doesn’t mean I have to wear necklines that choke me, but I also need to make sure I’m covered up. This also includes doing the bend over test in front of a mirror. It’s pretty easy to layer low cut dresses or shirts with a Halftee.
- My stomach needs to be covered. End of story. When I bend over, I want to be sure my backside is covered. If you raise your arms and your shirt comes up all the time, layer with a tank underneath.
- My back needs to be covered. I’m not going to wear a dress scooped really low, unless I’m layering something under it.
- My bottom is not going to be covered in words such as “hot,” “cutie,” or my favorite sports team. Actually, my bottom will not have any words at all on what I’m wearing!
- Hemlines are very controversial, but I always ask myself, can I get on the floor and play with the children in this skirt? If I’m sitting in a chair and a guy is sitting across from me, can he see up my legs? Am I drawing attention by having my legs showing in a short skirt or dress?
- As for pants, I watched this video recently by Jen Hatmaker called For The love of Fashion, and her thoughts on leggings. I thought she did a great job of defining what leggings really are for. For me, fleece lined leggings are for under my skirts to keep me warm in the wintertime. That’s it.
There are so many creative ways to wear modest clothing, whether it’s wearing a tunic shirt and jeans together, an adorable dress, or a classic skirt and cardigan combo. You can still express yourself and your personality while wearing something that is considered modest!
You might consider subscribing to the blog so you can join our modesty Facebook group. I love seeing the different outfits posted there, as it definitely reflects the personalities of the lades represented there!
One way I love to show my personality is through wearing flexi clips that match my outfits. I have my favorites, and even though I have quite the collection by now, I tend to reach for these certain clips over and over again!
Lilla Rose has released several brand new products today, and they released the February monthly clip early so people had plenty of time to order and receive it for Valentine’s Day!
You can save 10% off these new releases, and every order of $50 or more will receive a free set of Vintage Heart You-Pins! This offer is only available through Wednesday, January 27th.
They also released this adorable penguin flexi clip! I think it’s really cute! I love penguins, and have a softness in my heart for them as my nickname when I’m pregnant is penguin. We went to the St. Louis zoo when I was 8 months pregnant with our oldest, and literally were trying to run through to see the penguins before the zoo closed. I was waddling around just like a penguin, so my husband lovingly started calling me that, and every pregnancy after that I’ve heard the name!