5 Things I Learned About Modesty As A Teenager

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Dressing modestly feels very natural to me. I was raised from a young child to think about the clothes I wore, but it was with a balanced approach. I will forever be grateful to my mother for the incredible job she did in teaching me what modesty really means.

5 Things I Learned About Modesty As A Teenager.

Here is what stands out to me years later, over how I was raised.

1. She started with the basics when I was young.

While I don’t consider the clothes we wore previously as being really immodest, it wasn’t until I was 9 that we started exclusively wearing dresses and skirts. My mom came to my sister and I and we had a serious talk about switching to all skirts/dresses. As a girly girl who already wore play dresses constantly, I was thrilled. My tomboy older sister? Not so much.

When we made the switch, she didn’t make it complicated. Every single clothing piece was not pulled out of our closet and analyzed.

We just did it.
The thrift stores were visited, the jeans given away, and we made it work with what we had. Slowly, over time, we added more items that we needed.

2. When I questioned why we had to dress modestly, she gave me solid answers.

As I reached the teenage years, she would answer my questions of why our necklines had to be so high, and our skirts so long with actual personal stories. Now not everyone has these stories (I won’t have them for my girls), but my mom had spent some of her early adult years not walking with the Lord. She had real life experience of why she cared so much, and when I was old enough to handle the stories, she told me.

I can’t stress enough how helpful this was for me. Especially as your daughters reach teenage years, they don’t need to constantly hear “we dress modestly because I say so”. They desperately need solid answers to help them through the days when they feel different, or are made fun of for not wearing that bikini at the swim party.

3. She didn’t panic or get angry when I didn’t always follow the “rules”.

I’ll never forget going to my grandparents to visit for 2 weeks when I was 15. They lived states away and didn’t really appreciate our stance for modesty. When I walked off the airplane my parents were pretty surprised. I had on a modest, but extremely bright dress (just different from what I normally wore), my Grandma had put nails on me, and I had quite a bit of jewelry on (only simple jewelry was allowed), and I was very, very tan from having been at the beach for the weekend.

Not everything was wrong in what I wore, but everything combined really surprised my parents. My mom let me know she wasn’t happy that I gave into the pressure to be something different than who I really was, but also gave me lots of grace. I wasn’t in trouble, and deep down I knew that I wasn’t representing my true self.

I continued to struggle during that year, but my mom helped me through it, and looking back I don’t have regrets from doing anything drastic. It was just part of the growing up process.

4. She never made me feel like I alone was responsible for how a man thought.

Do you know the pressure a woman must feel if she thinks that the sexual thoughts a man has centers only around how she is dressed? What about a young lady who was raped, and told she just wasn’t dressed modestly enough? I’ve read all of this and more as arguments for needing to dress modestly.


My mom definitely talked to me about being respectful and considerate towards the young men I was around, but I never was made to carry this heavy burden around. It’s a two way street. We ladies need to be thoughtful and considerate for the men we come in contact with, because sexual thoughts are a struggle for a lot of men. Plunging necklines with bosoms hanging out are not helpful for a man’s thought life! But think about all the Islamic women who are raped, and covered head to toe?

Ultimately, a man needs to be constantly on guard with his thought life, and a woman needs to watch what she wears. Take responsibility for your own actions.

5. She showed me her commitment through her struggles.

It wasn’t always easy for my mom to dress modestly. She was a plus size woman and struggled finding clothes. But the struggle I will never forget are her attempts to sew us jumpers.

I grew up in the homeschooling movement when jumpers were the style for homeschoolers.  Looking back I cringe at the loose, so unflattering, matching jumpers, but I also have a tenderness in my heart at the memory of those clothes.

I’ll never forget coming out of my bedroom when I was 11, and seeing my mom in tears. She had spent hours working on putting a zipper in a jumper for one of us girls, but she just couldn’t get it. I remember thinking she must really love us, and desire for us to wear these jumpers if she is trying so hard.

When money was tight, she stuck with it. When we all were tired of wearing the same jumpers over and over again, she stuck with it. When friends or family laughed at us, she stuck with it.

Dressing modestly isn’t always easy. Like anything else in life, it’s a commitment that you have to be willing to stick with. Choose your standards, and help your daughters truly understand the reasoning behind them. The closer I was connected with my mom, the more I respected and listened to her opinion in all areas of life, including dressing modestly. Be the type of mom that your teenage daughter can share her struggles with, and lovingly help her through them!

Join our new October Fashion Challenge!

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I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to October and fall weather! We always have a really busy October, between our boys birthdays, my twin nephews birthday, my brother in law’s birthday, and our anniversary (it will be 14 years, which is crazy!). Super fun, and it means I get to pull out my cardigans and have evenings of sipping on apple cider!

I have some fun fall fashion posts I want to write, but first I wanted to invite you all to join me for an October fashion challenge! These are always super fun!

Not sure what this entails? Follow me on Instagram where I will be posting these outfits. Everyone will use the same hashtag, #TMMOctoberFashion. You will be able to click through and see other outfits from ladies that participate!

Join this fun October Modest Fashion Challenge! Have fun looking in your wardrobe and putting together outfits that go with each daily theme, and share them on Instagram!

If you are not on Instagram at all, I’m sure there will be some ladies that do this challenge in our private Facebook group for this blog. If you are not in that group, it’s super fun! Just subscribe to the blog below and you will receive the link to join (plus I just set up a 7 day dressing modestly series for new subscribers, so you will receive that as well!).

Feel free to share this post with your friends, so they can join in on this as well! I can’t wait to see all the different outfits!

My Third Stitch Fix Box Review!

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I received another Stitch Fix in the box this week, and wanted to show you all what I got! I’m still trying to decide on one item and I’d love to know what you all think!

First of all, if you are not familiar with Stitch Fix, it’s a service where you can sign up, fill out a custom profile of what style you are, and then a stylist will personally pick out 5 different items to send to you in the mail. You pay $20 for the styling fee, but if you keep any item that $20 fee goes toward the item.

Every outfit comes with a styling card, that shows two different ways you can wear each item.

It’s not for everyone, but I especially love it for busy moms who can’t get out to shop for themselves a lot, or for those who just hate to shop! 

Here are 4 of the 5 items I received. I didn’t take pictures of the racerback top I received, it honestly made me look pregnant and I wasn’t interested in sharing the picture on here. Needless to say, it’s going back. 🙂

Don’t forget that you can pin any of these pictures on Pinterest if you have a Stitch Fix Pinterest board!

Skies are Blue Delila Embroidery Neckline Knit Top in Red color from Stitch Fix.

Skies are Blue Delila Embroidery Neckline Knit Top– $54.00

I love the cheerful colors of this top, and it goes with our Rainbow Denim Skirt so well. I thought about keeping it, but there was actually a small rip on a seam, and I just decided to send it back.

Gilli Sanora Knit Maxi Dress from Stitch Fix! This navy blue polka dot is really cute with a side tie, and comfortable knit top.

Gilli Sanora Knit Maxi Dress – $78.00

This navy blue polka dot is really cute with a side tie, and comfortable knit top. I added a cami under it, and the denim jacket. I love the polka dots, but didn’t feel it was as flattering for this mommy-of-six-children-with-mommy-tummy. I’ve realized I need a few gathers in a dress. Back it went.

Gilli Anwen Jersy Dress from Stitch Fix! This is a really cute summer dress, but it's shorter than what I like. You could put a skirt extender under it!

Gilli Anwen Jersey Dress – $64.00

This is the dress that I can’t decide if I should send it back or keep it! I’ve been trying to stay away from buying more black clothes (thanks to the Dressing Your Truth Program), but I love the style of this dress.

It’s much shorter than I would ever wear out. I cropped the picture, but you can get an idea of how short it is (a few inches above my knee). I’m trying to decide if I should get a skirt extender, or just send it back. What would you do?

A perfect find from my latest Stitch Fix Box! A Gilli Betheny V-Neck Maxi Dress in navy blue, with vibrant colors! It will be great in the fall and winter with a jean jacket!

Gilli Betheny V-Neck Knit Maxi Dress – $78.00

This was the awesome item that I’m totally keeping from my box! I love the colors, the fit, the length, really everything about it. 🙂 I had it pinned on my Stitch Fix Pinterest board, and my stylist saw it so she sent it along. Hurray for a good stylist!

So there you go! If you want to try Stitch Fix out, you can schedule a box here, and even select the date of when it will arrive!


Modesty and the Good Old Days (Is There Such A Thing?)

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Oh the good old days. We all like to talk about them. Back when things were simple. You know, horse drawn wagons, living off the land, making your own clothes time period.

Modesty And The Good Old Days (Is There Such A Thing?)

And best of all? Everything and everyone was so pure and virtuous. We didn’t have things like Playboy magazines, affairs in marriages, immodest clothing to attract attention, or filthy language being used to describe how great a woman’s body looks.

Seriously? I jest.

It feels like the modesty standards are constantly being pulled backwards. If we could only dress like the ladies did in 1950’s, the world would be a better place.

But what about the ladies in the 1910’s? They would have considered the 1950’s clothing to be horribly immodest, and the ladies to be sinful. They were showing more legs and more arms in the 1950’s!

Scratch the 1900’s altogether, we need to dress like the pioneers did in the 1800’s! Admittedly, this was a more modest time period. But think back to the Regency time period of the 1700’s. If you have watched the classic Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth, you know the dresses might have been maxi length, but plenty of cleavage is spilling out of those gowns!


We don’t need to go back in time to dress modestly. Decent clothing standards weaves in and out of time, going back to the garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve made garments from leaves. Is that the most godly way to dress still, since it was done in the Garden of Eden?

Cultures dictate clothing. Styles change, and sometimes it’s not always a sinful thing. They just change style. Don’t overthink it, and don’t over spiritualize it. Find what is modest in today’s world, and wear it. Don’t feel like you have to dress like the prairie days, or the 1950’s, or the victorian time period to be modest.

We live and breath and move in in our times. Some people were alive when they first used horse and buggy as a child, and then died with an automobile in their garage. The world changes, and we change around it. We need to seek the Lord, find out what our own modesty standards are going to be, and not base it on modesty standards of 200 years ago.

If you wore a victorian swimsuit of bloomers and a swimming hat to the beach today, you would draw so much more attention to yourself than if you wore a cute swim skirt and a top. Or board shorts and a shirt.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that history is always best. What you will end up doing is attract a lot of attention as you walk around in your prairie dress, and people will think that’s what Christianity is all about.

Live in the world, but not of it. Live in the culture, but not immersed in it. Live in the present time, but always hoping for the future, the return of our blessed Lord and Savior. Don’t go backwards. Keep your feet firmly pressed on the straight and narrow path, and walk on in your Christian life!

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