Modesty 101 – 3 Main Areas To Consider

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While I previously have tried to avoid sharing super specific guidelines for modesty on the blog, I feel like it would be good to share the rules I have for myself. Hopefully by now you all know me well enough to understand that this isn’t going to be a legalistic post where I shame everyone who doesn’t follow these rules, right?

Modesty 101 - 3 main areas to consider when looking to dress modestly.

We all have different convictions – styles, body shapes, husbands (or fathers) who have preferences, etc.  Honestly, convictions can change over time. So can body shapes, but that’s a depressing topic to me right now so let’s move on. Hopefully one day I can start working on losing this baby weight. :)

Let’s dive right in to modesty 101.

First, “Why modesty?”

You have no idea what a loaded question that can be!

Is it to hide our bodies from men so we can keep them from even looking at us?

Are we ashamed of our bodies, and want to cover them from head to toe?

Or maybe we dress modestly because that’s what our church or our religion expects of us, and we hate to be rule breakers, so we wear modest clothing but it’s not really in our hearts.

I’m here to tell you, I don’t wear modest clothing for any of those reasons.

I don’t feel like I have the weight of a man’s lust upon my shoulders. Even if I wore the most modest clothes in the world, a woman can still have a beautiful face that a man can lust over. I definitely keep my brothers in Christ in mind when I’m getting dressed, but I know that I ultimately can’t control every thought they have just by putting on a dress.

I’m not ashamed of who God created me to be. I am a woman. I do have curves and I don’t feel like I have to wear a robe to be modest. However, that doesn’t mean I wear skin tight clothing to reveal all my curves. I love this quote:

Dresses_Should_Be_Tight_Enough

Finally, I’m not part of a religion that dictates what clothing I wear, and I’ve written before on how I don’t feel like the classic scripture in Deuteronomy demands that I wear skirts only.

So what’s the big deal then? What’s the big hoopla about modesty?

Some might say it’s a selfish reason, but I want to be considered a lady. I don’t need the postman to see my cleavage when I go to get my mail, and I don’t need the people in the parking lot to see the edges of my underwear when I load the van full of groceries. I want to earn respect from those around me, and part of that comes from how I dress.

Whether you wear strictly skirts and dresses, or you wear jeans, here are a few guidelines that I feel are essential.

The Top

  • My cleavage needs to be covered. That doesn’t mean I have to wear necklines that choke me, but I also need to make sure I’m covered up. This also includes doing the bend over test in front of a mirror. It’s pretty easy to layer low cut dresses or shirts with a Halftee.

The Middle

  • My stomach needs to be covered. End of story. When I bend over, I want to be sure my backside is covered. If you raise your arms and your shirt comes up all the time, layer with a tank underneath.
  • My back needs to be covered. I’m not going to wear a dress scooped really low, unless I’m layering something under it.
  • My bottom is not going to be covered in words such as “hot,” “cutie,” or my favorite sports team. Actually, my bottom will not have any words at all on what I’m wearing!

The Bottom

  • Hemlines are very controversial, but I always ask myself, can I get on the floor and play with the children in this skirt? If I’m sitting in a chair and a guy is sitting across from me, can he see up my legs? Am I drawing attention by having my legs showing in a short skirt or dress?
  • As for pants, I watched this video recently by Jen Hatmaker called For The love of Fashion, and her thoughts on leggings.  I thought she did a great job of defining what leggings really are for. For me, fleece lined leggings are for under my skirts to keep me warm in the wintertime. That’s it.

There are so many creative ways to wear modest clothing, whether it’s wearing a tunic shirt and jeans together, an adorable dress, or a classic skirt and cardigan combo. You can still express yourself and your personality while wearing something that is considered modest!

You might consider subscribing to the blog so you can join our modesty Facebook group. I love seeing the different outfits posted  there, as it definitely reflects the personalities of the lades represented there!

One way I love to show my personality is through wearing flexi clips that match my outfits. I have my favorites, and even though I have quite the collection by now, I tend to reach for these certain clips over and over again!

Lilla Rose has released several brand new products today, and they released the February monthly clip early so people had plenty of time to order and receive it for Valentine’s Day!

48 hour sale on all the brand new Valentines's Day flexi clips and bobby pins from Lilla Rose!

You can save 10% off these new releases, and every order of $50 or more will receive a free set of Vintage Heart You-Pins! This offer is only available through Wednesday, January 27th. 

Penguin flexi clip from Lilla Rose!

They also released this adorable penguin flexi clip! I think it’s really cute! I love penguins, and have a softness in my heart for them as my nickname when I’m pregnant is penguin. :) We went to the St. Louis zoo when I was 8 months pregnant with our oldest, and literally were trying to run through to see the penguins before the zoo closed. I was waddling around just like a penguin, so my husband lovingly started calling me that, and every pregnancy after that I’ve heard the name!

 

Magnesium Lotion Stay Warm In Skirts How I Made over My Morning Bible Verses To Read

 

 

Modest Monday and a Link Up!

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Sean and I went on a date Friday night and so enjoyed time away to talk. Our dates always consist of talking about our church (Sean is the pastor there), the children, or our businesses. :) I’m a firm believer that all couples should get away for a date night once a month if possible. We don’t always get away that often but we try. I’m so grateful to have a mother in law that is more than willing to watch our children when we ask!

Denim skirt with blue striped cardigan and brown boots!

Since my sister is married to my husband’s brother we get together quite often! Plus, we live very close to each other, so we go shopping together a lot! The guys got together to watch football (a rare occurrence since we don’t watch sports on Sunday afternoons) and Jennifer and I went shopping at Costco.

A denim skirt with striped cardigan, and brown boots for a grocery shopping trip!

I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, and was about ready to walk out of Costco without anything unhealthy in my cart when my sister asked if I would split some chocolate with her. Ha! I couldn’t turn that down, so besides the chocolate I checked out with lots of veggies. :)

Jamberry Polka Dot nails are so fun to wear and easy to do!

I’ve been having fun wearing Jamberry wraps lately! I’ve watched several videos on YouTube (here is a good one) and I’m learning to perfect the application. I have a bad habit of biting my nails, and wearing these has really helped me work on stopping that!

Lilla Rose Flexi Clip

I’m wearing one of my favorite flexi clips, the Kaleidoscope. The medium works great for ponytails since I have thicker hair, though must people use a small or x-small.

What I Wore

Skirt – Denim Skirt I found on ThredUP this week (Michael Kors brand)

Cardigan – Mika Rose

Boots – Mid Calf Lace Up Boots from Kohls

Flexi Clip – Lilla Rose 

Nail Wraps – Jamberry (when you buy 3 nail sheets you get 1 free!)

Makeup – L’BRI Pure and Natural foundation, Younique lip gloss and Smashbox eyeshadow and blush (yes I love to use different products!).

Link Up Time!

Please feel free to share posts about anything concerning being a godly, feminine woman. Topics include: modesty, being a wife, mother, homeschooler, homemaker, cooking, sewing, etc.

Please grab the button below and share on your blog post so others can come and join in the link up as well!

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Modest Monday and a Link Up!

This post may contain Affiliate Links. Thank you for your support!

This was our first full week back to school after Christmas break and it turned out to be a good week! Yes, we had our low moments, but overall it was a successful week. I’m reading Mr. Poppers Penguins to the children for a fun change, and we all love the story. I have a feeling we will be checking out books about penguins from the library when we are done!

Saturday I went to a Plexus training day and I learned a lot! It was fun to be there with my sister, and to sip on the Slim drink while I learned. 😉 I totally don’t take it for weight loss right now, just for health reasons.  As much as I would love to lose baby weight I know it doesn’t come off easily while I’m nursing. I just have so much more energy while I’m on it!

Purple Lace Maxi Skirt

Sunday was a busy day of church, going to my mother in law’s for lunch and the afternoon (which is where I took this picture), and back to church where we stayed much later than we had planned on. :) It’s hard to leave when you get to visiting with friends about homeschooling, schedules, and what is working for them!

This is the only picture we took of the outfit I wore yesterday. I really like this lace maxi skirt and it was a quick outfit to put on for a busy Sunday morning.

What I Wore

Lace Maxi Skirt – Honey & Lace

Sweater – Kohls

Shoes – ThredUP

Berry Chevron Headband – Deborah & Co.

Link Up Time!

Please feel free to share posts about anything concerning being a godly, feminine woman. Topics include: modesty, being a wife, mother, homeschooler, homemaker, cooking, sewing, etc.

Please grab the button below and share on your blog post so others can come and join in the link up as well!

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3 Things I’m Teaching My Boys About Modesty

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3 Things I'm Teaching My Boys About Modesty....because it's not all about the women only when it comes to modesty!

The word modesty is normally associated with females. It’s the woman’s job to dress modestly, and men don’t have much to do with it, right?

Hmm…let’s have a closer look at that. Modesty certainly applies to women, but it’s a topic that men should seriously consider as well. I began trying to get my boys to think about modesty a long time ago and here are 3 of the most important things I’d like them to learn.

1. Men also have a responsibility to be modest in appearance and deportment.

It’s not just the women’s job to dress modestly. In our home we teach our boys to not wear cut off shirts or to walk around outside without a shirt on. Tight exercise clothes or swim clothes are not allowed. It’s not talked about nearly as much, but men can certainly tempt women with tight, revealing clothes.

We also teach our boys to be careful with what message their clothes send. Dark clothing with skulls on it, shirts that mock parents or say things negative about siblings are not allowed. I prefer classic styles, and have loved the Gymboree brand for years now. I am selective even there, but they have many classic styles that are adorable.

(As an aside, right now is a great time to stock up on clothing (even for next winter!) because everything at Gymboree is $14.99 or under, with free shipping! That even includes $80 winter coats! Wow!)

Gymboree Sale On Now!

 

We also want to raise boys with a modest deportment. Have you ever been around a man who is full of himself? Almost every single word they say is about themselves or their family, and they are prideful over every accomplishment in their life. One definition of modesty is “unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities or achievements.” We want to raise boys that are confident but do not think too highly of themselves.

2. Treat all women with respect, whether they are dressed modestly or not.

Obviously I appreciate women that dress modestly, especially when my husband and boys are present. However my boys must learn that all women must be treated with respect, even scantily clad women. The very fact that they are women demands that we show them basic respect (even if it does not appear that they respect themselves. Actually, this is all the more reason to show them respect.)

my boys must learn that all women must be treated with respect, even scantily clad women. The very fact that they are women demands that we show them basic respect (even if it does not appear that they respect themselves. Actually, this is all the more reason to show them respect.)

Treating all women with respect does not mean you honor every single lifestyle choice. However, we should not mock or laugh or treat someone harshly just because they are different then us. The most effective key to winning someone over to the Lord is through charity, and though that is difficult to exhibit at all times, it is the example our Savior has set before us.

3. Women are not responsible for keeping a man’s thought life pure!

While there is a huge emphasis on modesty for women (and I feel there should be), I refuse to teach my boys that women have to dress modestly to keep them from having lustful thoughts. Does it make it easier on them? Absolutely. As women we should be considerate and thoughtful of other men (especially our brothers in the Lord) and cover up! Don’t flaunt that cleavage or wear a skin tight short skirt that reveals every curve for them to feast their eyes on. But a man is ultimately responsible for keeping his thought life in check, and that requires a close walk with the Lord.

Growing up we were taught to keep our eyes on the floor when checking out at the grocery store with filthy magazines around. You have to actively teach your boys that there are pictures out there designed to make men look, and that they must turn away. For years now we have been teaching our boys this, and they are not even teenagers yet. I’ve heard of experiences of young men finding nasty pictures in the most innocent places at a young age and my husband and I know that this temptation will definitely present itself to our boys. We had on a beautiful classical music piece on our Apple TV the other day and up flashed a painting of a naked women. The boys were in the room and they both instantly said that was not good. It was one of those moments where you least expect a bad picture to appear – but they will and your boys have to be prepared for it.

Satan knows that one of man’s greatest weaknesses is lust. It’s been proven that even in countries where women cover themselves from head to toe in a long robe and even cover their faces with only their eyes showing, men still burn with lust. Remember when the military invaded the Osama bin Laden compound? There was a lot of pornography found there, and this in a culture that demands that women cover themselves to the fullest extent.

Don’t think that creating a culture of modestly dressed women will take away the lustful thoughts and desires of a man. Those things are taken away when he surrenders his thought life to the Lord.

When it comes to men, modesty is rarely if ever discussed, but it is an important topic that affects their lives in many, many ways. The sooner they acquire a wholesome view of modesty, both in regards to themselves and to women, the sooner they will come to understand how it can bless their lives and the lives of those around them.