We hear it said all the time.
“One of the best gift you can give to your children is a solid marriage.”
It’s really true though.
Your children need to see a strong marriage modeled for them. It will give them a sense of security, and they will grow up with an inspiring picture of what their marriages can one day be.
Ask yourself if your marriage is as strong as it could be? Are you continually working on your marriage, or just cruising along expecting it to stay strong with little effort?
There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect Marriage!
You will make mistakes along the way, and your children will see those mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way, and my husband is gracious to forgive me and love me in spite of them. Don’t allow yourself to get discouraged, just keep going and put the Lord first in your marriage.
Make Time For Romance!
Sean and I both can be romantic at heart. We had one year of marriage together before our first child was born. The memories of that year was of peace and quiet, sitting on the couch together listening to classical music, lots of candlelight dinners, and as much time together as we wanted. 12 years later, and almost 6 children later, life is quite different!
Our time is limited, but we don’t let having children around burn the romance out of our marriage. Since our oldest is not a teenager yet, we still have the ability to flirt in front of our children and they don’t know what we are talking about. 😉 We kiss, hug, and tease each other in front of our children. They clearly know we love each other, and we try to model that for them.
You Are Not Being Selfish!
I sense that so many couples feel they are being selfish if they attempt to make time for their marriage. With little ones it can be hard to make that time, but you are not being selfish for wanting to keep that spark alive in your marriage! It’s not the holy, high road to never have a date night, or go 10-15 years without spending a night alone with just your husband. There’s no doubt that children will consume a lot of your time (as they should) but they shouldn’t consume all of it. If you still feel guilty about setting time aside of just the two of you, just think of how it will strengthen your marriage and how a strong marriage is a blessing to your children!
If you don’t have anyone nearby that can watch your children, be creative and see if you can swap babysitting with local friends. They take your children one evening, and the next week you take their children. Or just have date night at home! You can see how we have date night at home here. Put your phone away and truly spend time with your spouse!
With Valentine’s Day almost here, the pressure might be on you to have the perfect gift, the best Hallmark love card you can find, or the best date night of the year, but oftentimes your love can best be expressed through simple acts.
If you haven’t told your husband recently how much you appreciate him, write him a love letter for Valentine’s Day and put it in his car before he leaves for work! Or surprise him with a candlelight dinner at home that night. Let this day of love be the time that sparks the romance back into your marriage! And remember, putting true love back into your marriage, is not only a great blessing for your husband, but also for your children!