How I Afford To Be A Stay At Home Mom

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How I Afford To Be A Stay At Home Mom In A Two Income Society. | themodestmomblog.com

It’s a common concern. In a day where it is extremely common for both parents to be working full time jobs, the question frequently arises. “How in the world can you afford to be a stay at home mom?”

I never considered working outside the home. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and even after we got married I stayed at home instead of getting a job. We knew we wanted a family right away, so three months after getting married we found ourselves expecting our first child! It was an exciting time, but finances were very, very tight our first few years of marriage. During the most difficult times I offered to go get a part time job, but Sean was insistent I stay home with our children.

The answer of how I afford to be a stay at home mom is pretty basic. It’s because we make that choice, and always have. We make sacrifices so I can be a homeschooling mom. We didn’t enter marriage and base our house and car expenses on a two income family, it was always based on getting income from my husband.

Things we choose to do without:

~ We have never had a brand new house. There is nothing wrong with a brand new house, it’s just never been in our budget.

~ We don’t drive brand new cars. We have made the decision to not drive super old cars either though, after realizing we spend a lot of money in repairs.

~ We don’t have cable.

~ We don’t eat out very often. When we do go out as a family it is normally to Chick-Fil-A. Our oldest child has been somewhere like Olive Garden 2-3 times in their life. The food court at Costco is a favorite (wow, that sounds really uptown doesn’t it?) :)

~ We don’t have nice furniture. Seriously. Right now our couch is falling apart (like, one of the cushions has a hole in it and every time you sit back it shoots batting into the air!), our fake leather chair (“pleather” they call it) is literally shedding itself all over our living room floor (a toddler stuck a fork in it and things unraveled from there), and our dining room table is a mix-match of wood and painted chairs that are really sad looking. We hope to get newer furniture when we move, but for now we just are trying to be content.

~ We don’t go shopping all the time. My husband is hard to find clothes for in his size, so we buy all of his clothes brand new. I like to get my clothes from Deborah & Co., thrift stores, ThredUP and department store clearance and sales racks. The children’s clothes come from local Kid’s Closet Consignment sales and ThredUP.

~ We don’t go to the movies. If we actually want to see a movie that has come out (which is rare to find a decent one), we wait until it is on DVD and get it from RedBox or the library.

~ We don’t have expensive hobbies. We keep our hobbies on a cheaper scale. For example, I’d love for my boys to take bow and arrow classes, but weekly classes and investing in a bow is not cheap.

However that doesn’t mean we don’t spend any money at all. We just carefully think through if it is a good investment for our family.

Enjoying a Princess party with my daughterEnjoying a special Princess party with my daughter.

Things We Do Spend Money On:

Music Lessons – We have our daughter in violin lessons. I feel this is a good skill for her to learn, and she seems to be learning it fairly well. This is an investment in her life, as she could possibly teach lessons when she is older.

Good computers – When we first were married we didn’t even have a computer for a year or two. Now with my husband in graphic design, the only computer he will buy is a Mac. They are not cheap, but they have held up extremely well.

Homeschool books – I know some people don’t spend much money at all on homeschool materials. You can’t spend it if you just don’t have it. There are ways around buying curriculum, but I make it a point to find the money for the curriculum I want. I don’t spend $1000 a year on materials, but I know I spend around $400-$500 a year on curriculum. I love to use Heart of Dakota with my boys, and while I find it used it still isn’t cheap. Then I have new math workbooks, etc. and it all adds up. I look at places like Ebay, HomeschoolClassifieds.com and local used book sales.

Food – Ok I know everyone spends money on this! We are not purists, but I try to buy healthy food for my family. We shop at Aldi’s and Costco a lot. I avoid the processed food at Aldi’s (besides cold cereal), and I get fruit, veggies, and dairy products there. I also get my canned food like beans, tomato sauces, and pasta there. I get my lettuce and organic carrots and spinach from Costco, and get greek yogurt and organic hamburger at Costco as well. I’m not an all organic shopper (we just don’t have the budget for it) but I pick and choose what is most important to me.

There are times that no matter how badly you want to be a stay at home mom, it’s just not possible. Your husband might be ill, you might be a single mom, or your husband lost his job and you have to work. Those are valid reasons, and this post is not meant to discourage you.

However there are many other families who say they could never afford to let the wife stay at home, yet they have brand new houses, drive brand new cars, and want the very best of everything. If you want to be a stay at home mom, you have to sacrifice something!

I’ve been blessed to stay home, homeschool my children, and still be able to earn some money to help our family out. Besides Deborah & Co., Lilla Rose has been an amazing blessing to our family! If you are needing to earn some money from home, don’t miss out in this chance to join a very unique company and earn up to 45% each month. The only requirement is to sell or purchase $29 a year. There are no monthly party requirements or inventory that you are required to purchase. I love this company, and love the owners and people that work for them! The free shipping special ends July 31st, so don’t delay!

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I’d love to hear how what sacrifices your family makes so you can be a stay at home mom! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Princess Items at Deborah & Co!

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Royal Pink Princess Dress!

 

We have new princess items at Deborah & Co. I’ve received nothing but good feedback on the play dresses we currently sell. We now offer this Royal Pink Princess dress for girls ages 1-9.

We also offer a matching doll dress!

Royal Pink Princess Doll Dress

This sweet dress will fit a 16″-20″ doll or stuffed animal.

No princess is complete without a crown!

A pink princess crown for a sweet little girl!

My girls went crazy in excitement when they saw this new princess crown! They are just stunning and any little girl will feel so special when they are wearing one of these!

They are perfect for dress up play, and birthday parties.

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Keeping a Balanced Approach to The Pre-K and Kindergarten Years

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Keeping a balanced approach to preschool and kindergarten is wise for the sanity of mom and child!

Since I was homeschooled all my life I had a good idea of what homeschooling my own children would be like. I remember the fantastic days of school, singing civil war songs around the piano, nature studies, reading so many wonderful books, and watching Andy Griffith during lunch time. :)

But I also remember the days where we started really late, my brother and I laughed during the entire devotion, my mom breaking down in tears and getting so frustrated, her worry over our weak areas in school, and trying to juggle school in between doctor appointments and moving six times in six years! Homeschooling takes a devoted mom with a steadfast vision to continue year after year.

When our oldest was approaching pre-school age I was very much into the Charlotte Mason method of letting young children learn through playing, being outside, reading to them, etc. We didn’t do very many workbooks, and I didn’t push him to read young. I still remember being pregnant with our youngest, and being in bed during a very difficult first trimester. He was seven at this point and still hardly reading anything. I was beginning to get frustrated, even though I knew all the statistics about boys being late readers. As I lay in bed I overheard him reading a book to his sisters, and he literally started reading overnight! I couldn’t believe it. He now is an avid reader, and we can’t keep him supplied with enough good books to read!

I have changed my opinions concerning the preschool/kindergarten years as I’ve had more children. Surprisingly, I’ve gotten a little more proactive about what we do, instead of relaxed. It’s still a season of life that I don’t stress about though.Children learn through observation, through living life, and yes, through workbooks! (Olivia writing her letters in a one room schoolhouse!)

There are two different approaches that I’ve observed when it comes to preschool and kindergarten.

The first is the super excited first time mom that can’t wait to get started. She takes her baby to infant music classes, teaches her sign language, and at 2 years old is trying to teach her the ABC song. By 3 she is hoping to have the child reading some simple words, and excelling in Kindergarten at age 4. A strict school routine and a formal school area is found in their home. The parents are so proud of their smart child, and they are quick to show off the child’s work to everyone.

The second mom lets the child simply live life, play with lincoln logs and dolls and cars, help the mom in the kitchen, play outside for hours, and teaches him to count using blocks. She traces letters in the air with her finger, and has a special box of salt or sugar that the child makes his first letter shapes in with his finger. Formal workbooks and teaching him to read comes much later, at the age of 6 or even 7.

Both approaches can work. However neither approach works perfectly for the large family. My 4 year old is the 4th child, and I have a 5th, 3rd, and 1st grader that must be engaged in school work every day.  By the time I get done with all the necessary schoolwork, I just don’t have the energy to go make letters out of clay, or sit and play blocks with my 4th child by herself.

What I do have the energy for is some scheduled workbook pages that she can do while I’m working with the other children. Olivia begs to do her Horizon’s Preschool workbook, and when we don’t get to it she actually gets pretty upset! Workbooks sometimes have a bad name to them, especially for little ones, but at this point that’s exactly what she needs.

Preschool years are so much fun! (Yes, that is a princess in the background! She loves her play dress.)

Olivia already knows how to count to 10, her ABC’s, colors and some shapes. Did I sit down and do one on one instruction with her when she was 3? No, not really. She learned most of these things by simply being the 4th child, observing her older sister as she counted and sang the ABC song. She watches Preschool Prep videos, and I sing the ABC song with her about once a week. :)

When I started homeschooling I had a hard time getting settled into a routine. I switched curriculum a few times, and I focused so much on teaching my child to read I think I neglected a few other areas. Math does not come easily for him, and we struggle through it every day. Grammar and spelling is another weak area. Those are all textbook related subjects that are learned through sitting down and studying from a book and filling a worksheet out. It’s not a bad thing, unless your child has a learning disability that makes worksheets very difficult. Children learn through observation, through living life, and yes, through workbooks! 

I really don’t stress about the preschool and Kindergarten years – I’ve grown to really enjoy them. When my child hits first grade, that’s when I get much more intense with them. I’m doing math, reading, science, grammar, handwriting, and reading out loud with my first grader this year.

 

 

 

Save 92% off Homeschool Curriculum, Plus a Giveaway!

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Build Your Bundle - Homeschool Edition Sale: July 21-28 Save up to 92% on Popular Homeschooling Curriculum, Many from Cathy Duffy's Top 100 Picks!

The Biggest Homeschool eBook Bundle Sale is coming soon!

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I don’t promote very many ebook bundle sales on the blog. There are so many of them these days, and I don’t want to overwhelm you all with bundle sales. But I had to share about this brand new ebook bundle sale coming up, because I am so incredibly excited about it myself!

I’ve seen the list of books that are included, and I’m already trying to figure out how I can get every single bundle in the set. It’s that good! This is a new and creative bundle, and I don’t think homeschooling moms will be disappointed with the wonderful options.

Something that is really unique to this ebook bundle sale, is there are quite a few items on Cathy Duffy’s TOP 100 LIST included!! 

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    The image will look like this:

     

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Pre-Sale Promotional Giveaway – Enter to win $100 towards the purchase
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