Raising Little Girls To Embrace Modesty

Raising Little Girls to Embrace Modesty | themodestmomblog.com

If you do not train little girls to be feminine and modest, most likely they will grow up and not give any consideration towards being modest. It is imperative that we not wait until our daughters hit puberty to suddenly talk to them about what they can and cannot wear. By then, dear mother, you are have lost your most precious time to train their hearts.

We’ve all heard it, but it’s true – girl’s are so different then boys. From a young age girls are full of hormones and emotions. When I was young, I remember crying for no good reason. I just felt like crying! My oldest daughter has already started doing this and she’s about to turn 6! We need to treat our daughters emotions with tender care, and yet not coddle those emotions.

You almost have to walk a tight rope when you are teaching little girls about modesty. They are unable to understand the somewhat complex reasons behind a modesty standard. Telling a 4 year old that a women’s body dressed in a mini skirt is capable of turning men’s heads is totally unnecessary. However, you do want to talk to your daughter about why you don’t want her wearing a bikini (even at 4, I don’t find that appropriate swimwear attire).

As your daughter grows older, slowly start transitioning her to the modesty standards you want her to have at 15. If you want her to wear longer skirts, then have her become used to that long before she is a teenager.  If you want her to be accustomed to wearing more than the standard swimsuit when swimming, then put shorts and a t-shirt over her little swimsuit. If you don’t want her wearing makeup when she is 13, a play makeup set isn’t the best idea when she is 5.

Don’t take this to the extreme. I don’t put my babies only in skirts. I have no problem with them wearing sleepers, and my 4 year old wears pants. A little girl is not developed yet, and the only reason I put them in skirts now is to train them for future years. It is not because I feel they are immodest in jeans. Give your little girl grace in the early years, and don’t be paranoid to the point of smothering them in rules. However the early years are when the rules are laid down, so make sure you actually start teaching them the rules!

Raising Modest girls | themodestmomblog.com

These suggestions might sound extreme but they are how we try to raise our daughters, and how I was raised myself. I wasn’t raised to shop at Claire’s and purchase all the cute jewelry and stick on earrings when I was 8, because my mom didn’t want me to grow up from a young age lusting after jewelry and makeup. I was allowed to pierce my ears at 13, but wore very little jewelry through high school. I’m not saying this is the right way for everyone, but my mom carefully and prayerfully tried to raise her daughters to not have their hearts set on boys and fashion through high school.

If you want a daughter who will listen to you and respect your opinions when it comes to clothes and fashion, wisdom about dating and friendships, take the time when she is little to talk to her. Let her tell you all her dreams and silly stories. Lay in bed with her at night and snuggle. Play dollies with her (I normally dress them all up and fix the hair, then they can go play house 🙂 ). I remember my mom doing all of these things with me. She never pushed me away and we grew up to be very close.

Raising little girls to be modest | themodestmomblog.com

So what do you say to a little girl when you are trying to teach her about modesty? I simply tell my little girls that we want to be modest, and that means keeping ourselves covered. I haven’t gone into detailed conversations yet, that will come in the future. I pray with them at nighttime in their room, and most nights include a  prayer that they will grow up to become virtuous young women. Do they know what virtuous means yet? No, but they have even started praying that they will be virtuous. They might not understand, but if mama wants that for her girls then it must be a good thing! The same principle applies towards modesty.

The best way you can train your little girls to be modest is to dress that way yourself. Be the sort of woman that you want her to be.

Training little girls to be modest is just one small area to focus on. It is vitally important to train them in good character, which is why we created  Character Badges. But we don’t just focus on good character. There can be good moral, upright people who don’t have a heart to follow God. Train your little girl to love God first and foremost, and then you can explain to her why we want to do good things in our lives.

The little years are incredibly fun. They bring me much joy, and I love the time of innocence. Shelter them while they are little so they can grow up to be a pure rose, one who is lovely to be around.




  1. Thank you for sharing. I raised a son and was SO appreciative of moms raising girls as you do!!

  2. Charlotte Moore says:

    AMEN!!!! Need more mothers to teach modesty.

  3. It seems like common sense but people don’t teach their girls to respect themselves anymore. Glad there are other families who find these values as important as we do.

  4. I am thankful that you included the part about following the Lord. The most important thing in the universe is the glory of God in Christ. Your daughter’s eternal soul is much more important than her clothing choices. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ that these young women and girls need more than anything. Modesty and virtue are wonderful, but they do not guarantee eternal life, nor do they honor God if they are not done out of love for Christ. Christ died on the cross for sins, was buried, and rose again on the third day. Those who put their hope and their trust fully in Christ alone for salvtion will be saved. From this salvation flows a heart of love for God which includes a gentle and quiet spirit and modesty. These are precious in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

    • Elizabeth says:

      When making decisions about modesty (or any other holiness issue),our focus must be on the gospel. Being comfortable with a standard and knowing the right thing to do are not going to change hearts. We glorify God as He changes us from the inside out to be more like Jesus.

      • Yes, that is why I wrote this in the post: “There can be good moral, upright people who don’t have a heart to follow God. Train your little girl to love God first and foremost, and then you can explain to her why we want to do good things in our lives.”

    • Elizabeth Bradford says:

      Whenever I see a Christian saying “It’s not a salvation issue”, then that tells me that their heart is in the world. It shouldn’t offend a believer to be admonished to obey a commandment. Whether or not you dress right, it won’t effect your salvation; but it will effect your relationship with God. “If you love me, keep my commandments” John 14:15. Also if you actively tell other people not to keep commandments, sure, you’ll be in heaven, but you will be called, Least (Matt 5:19).

  5. Excellent advice!!! My only daughter just turned 21 and dresses modestly. We trained her in modesty from the day she was born. I talked to her about as she grew up, and when time came to talk about the underlying reasons, she understood even more clearly & never questioned. Recently I asked her why she’d never had any trouble with dressing modestly, and she said, “because you modelled it for me my whole life, consistently!” What a blessing! Sometimes we wonder if any of our training pays off. It does! Don’t grow weary in well-doing, mamas!!!

  6. Great advice that’s my biggest thing I want to teach my daughter as she grows

  7. “God wants your body covered” goes a long way with our girls (5–10). Good stuff 🙂

  8. Jamie Garcia says:

    I personally do not think you are more covered in pants than dresses, in our church I see more bottoms and bellies in the kids classes, I’m constantly asking some little kid to pull up their pants! Dresses with pants/shorts underneath are modest always. We do not wear skirts for the same reason we don’t wear pants.

  9. I have four girls and I absolutely love to dress modestly. We have had occasional disussions, but truthfully, a lot of daughters want to be like their mommy. My daughters are reaching the teens and they are choosing the modest clothes and I thank God he has put the desires in their heart. A lot of times if we see things in our children we don’t like, they have usually learned it from us!

  10. Good article. We practice modesty in attire (our girls are 3, 4, and 5 1/2) because I realize it’s not something you can start all of the sudden when they start “developing.” I’m always astounded by faithful Christian friends who post pictures of themselves or their kiddos in strapless/backless dresses or bikinis. I honestly think it doesn’t even occur to them that these things are immodest. Strange world we live in! Whenever my daughters say, “Do I look beautiful?” I say, “Yes you do, but what’s more important than being beautiful on the outside.” They already know the answer. 🙂

  11. Amen!!! My common question to our daughter is what is your focus? We are to keep our focus on the Lord. In everything! Clothes do matter! I do wear skirts all the time. Leggings in the winter, or socks etc and yes my skirts are long. I can do most anything in a skirt, you just learn how to do it. My husband is a mechanic, disabled with no legs and still does vehicles and I am right there beside him. So we teach our daughter to do the same. I do allow her to wear culloutes, but they have to be very full and drape like a skirt to run around in. She knows and understands why she must protect herself and keep the focus on the Lord in everything. Our goal is to see her one day realize it for herself and then her own children. Yes some critize how I approach this but they realize that there is a difference in how we come across and they respect it. Keep your eyes on the Lord!! and let Him be praised….

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