Senior female friends chatting together

Yesterday we talked about how it was ok to be beautiful. Today we are going to swing the pendulum the other way and talk about the dangers of being infatuated with physical beauty.

Women are particularly prone to placing an undue emphasis on this area of their lives. So much of who she is to the outside world is caught up in how she looks. The culture has taught us from our youth up that appearances are of paramount importance, even to the exclusion of character and virtue. How do I know this? Beautiful people are worshipped and adored. They keep us hanging on their every exploit and we are quick to pass over their oftentimes glaring character deficiencies. In today’s society, beauty forgives a multitude of sins. But even beautiful people grow old, and without virtue, their days of beauty have passed away forever.


Our physical beauty is going to fade. When we are old and gray and have wrinkles, it is our spirit and attitude towards life that perpetuates beauty, not our physical looks!

This brings up a topic I have been getting several emails about lately.

Coloring our hair.

It seems a lot of women color their hair. I personally never have, and I honestly don’t have any plans to do so in the future. I don’t know of any scriptural reasons that a woman shouldn’t color her hair. I do know that unless you use a natural color (something like henna) that normal hair dyes from a box are not healthy for you at all.

Personally I would ask yourself why you want to color your hair? If you are older and you are having some gray hairs come through, what is it about the gray hair that you do not like? Did you realize that the Bible actually talks about gray hair as a thing of honor?

The hoary head is a glorious crown, if it be found in the way of righteousness. Proverbs 16:31

The definition of the word hoary – gray or white with or as if with age.

Another verse talking about gray hair even refers to it as a thing of beauty!

The glory of young menΒ isΒ their strength: and the beauty of old menΒ isΒ the gray head. Proverbs 20:29

I know that some women gray early, and they color their hair so they don’t look like a grandmother to their young children. I can understand that. If I turned gray really young and had young children, I’m sure I would explore my options. πŸ™‚ I would just encourage you to not look on turning gray when it is the natural age to do so, as a bad thing.

When my mom started having gray hair, I don’t remember her stressing about it. I’m sure it bothered her a little when it started, but I remember her joking around about it. She was a grandma to 4 children before she passed away at 54. Her goal at that point wasn’t to look like a young mother herself!

Society has women so stressed about staying young, trim (size 0), and attractive looking, that I’m sure it can be difficult to adjust to growing older. That is where we need to maintain a healthy balance in our younger years so we are not in emotional upheaval when we do start aging some. Taking good care of ourselves now, especially with our skincare routine may have a lot to do with how we age!

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth theΒ Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30


Daily Challenge:

1. Get up and dressed!

2. Do you find yourself obsessing about your physical appearance? Stop and take a minute to reflect on your attitude about yourself, and make sure it is balanced and not swinging to far towards vanity.

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30 Comments on Gray hair and Beauty {Day 14}

  1. I dye my hair. I don’t keep it a secret (obviously – I’m announcing on the internet right now : ) When people ask before they meet me what color my hair is, I’ll tell them, “Well, the box says it’s . . .”

    I started turning grey when I was 12. By the time I was 30, I was regularly being offered the senior discount when I went out to lunch. So, I did something to make me look my age.

    Not only do I not want to look like my dd’s grandmother (I’m already an older Mom – and people make that mistake even with my hair colored), but I also don’t want to look like my husband’s Mother.

    I actually like my natural color – but it makes me look like I am much older than I actually am, so I dye it.

    My Mom let hers go natural after a certain age (she was allergic to the chemicals), and her natural color was absolutely beautiful.

  2. I started graying early, I believe I was around 17. I also have a really bad streak that with my dark hair makes me have a skunk appearance. I do color my hair because if I didn’t I would be totally gray and I’m only 34. I would look like my kids grandma if I didn’t. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Hubby likes me to color it, and I’m sure he appreciates me not looking like his mom when we are out. I also know he appreciates me spending the time to do it since he likes it. I always do a natural color. I struggled with coloring because I know the Bible does say gray is an honor, but being my husbands wife is also an honor and since technically I’m still gray, I am honored in both ways!

  3. Our society practically worships youthfulness & staying young. They despise older people & the Bible gives us instruction otherwise. Hitler’s regime implemented Euthanasia to get rid of the “older people who no longer benefit society.” It is a sad time in which we live. There is no shame in aging. In fact, I believe you can do it gracefully when you’re not consumed with the philosophy of non-aging & staying young forever! Thank-you for this post & speaking out on this matter!!

  4. Yes! I wish Christian women wouldn’t act like gray hair was a bad thing and would joyfully accept it. I’m in my early 30s with a half-dozen stray grays and no plans to ever color my hair.

  5. I started getting gray hair when I was 18. It was just a few strands here and there. Now that I’m 35, it looks like I have gray highlights! πŸ™‚ My oh-so-in-style sister-in-law has questioned me as to why I don’t just color it. I would look so much younger! I just don’t see any reason to stop nature. I’m going to have gray hair eventually, why start coloring it only to have to keep coloring it. Which is the other reason I don’t color it…you have to keep doing it and it can be expensive!

    My daughters have the Loving Family dolls and there is one with gray hair that is the grandma. My younger kids always call her the mom! πŸ™‚

    We’re not going to be young forever and gray hair can be beautiful, too!

    • I shouldn’t have said, “oh-so-in-style”. She’s just trendier than I. The way I said it sounded derogatory and that wasn’t my intention. πŸ™‚

  6. Ha. I had absolutely no plans to color my hair and told my husband so time and again as a younger wife. What I didn’t know then was that naturally red hair can gray with a yellow tinge. For now, I have opted to use not red, but a dark natural blonde tint–the same color my dear blonde friend uses. To be honest, I think it looks more natural than my naturally-blondish-yellow-gray. Later, I plan to lose the blonde altogether and opt for something to make the yellow more silver. My goal is to look as age appropriately natural as possible throughout life’s passages.

  7. As I approach my 39th birthday next week, I can tell you the getting older in our society is tough on the emotions. It helps me to have some older women than myself as godly mentors. This season of life also helps me to remember those who are older than myself and realize that they are not ‘retired’ in the kingdom. Ministry doesn’t belong to the youth – and it’s important for me to listen to those older than myself and make sure I’m treating them as valuable and worthwhile in the Kingdom work (and teaching my children to view the older generation like this as well.) Also, one of the classiest, most beautiful women in my life has a head full of gorgeous silver hair!

  8. I have no signs of gray and I’m in my 20s. I’m considering highlights (have had them done a couple of times in the past) because my husband LOVES them on me. I prefer my natural color and it’s so much easier and cheaper to maintain, but on the other hand, it’s a small thing that would mean a lot to him…..pondering πŸ™‚

  9. I used to color my hair in my twenties, trying to be something I was not (redheaded like my sister.) I have so much gray now that it would be a VERY expensive task to maintain now. I look at not coloring my hair as an investment in my husband’s and children’s dreams. He doesn’t want me to color my hair (new hairstyle would be great though as I need to learn how to do feminine styles with almost waist-length long hair instead of ponytails.) My daughter loves to play with my hair and put ribbons and braids in it. It’s a bonding experience as we spend the time caring for it together.

  10. Thank you for writing this! So true! Grey hair is BEAUTIFUL and is truly a crown and not a disgrace. I will never color my hair, and I talked my husband out of dying his (he used to dye his prematurely grey hair). If the Bible says that maturity and grey hair are a crown and a reward, why would we want to cover them up?

  11. Oh, and one more comment – for me, I find it very helpful to have godly Christian women as mentors and examples who are not ashamed of their age – who accept their aging bodies, their grey hair, etc., with grace and cheerfulness instead of trying to cover them up in the myriad of ways available. I am comfortable with my own aging when I’m surrounded by women who are also comfortable with their own aging. It’s when I’m around women who reject the aging process (with plastic surgery and hair dye) that I become embarrassed about my own no-longer-perfect body. We set the example for the next generation in how we act and speak about our bodies.

  12. I started going gray in my early twenties. I’m now 54, and have been coloring my hair that whole time. About 6-7 months ago, I decided to stop and just be my natural color – but who knew what that was? πŸ™‚ My husband said he didn’t mind if I stopped coloring, but he did say he liked my hair the way it was. I figured if he didn’t mind, I’d go ahead and stop.

    So, now I have wonderful two-tone hair :)My grandchildren have commented on it, “Grandma, why do you have two colors of hair?” They are so honest. The very nice is, I’ve received some nice compliments on how natural and lovely my hair looks. I do use a special shampoo to keep it more on the silvery side than the steel gray side, but not every time I shampoo. It just keeps the hair from getting brassy is what my sister explained to me.

    And I LOVE not having to do my roots every 6 weeks!

  13. I am 46 with 8 children – #9 on the way. My oldest is 20. It is hard for me to have gray hair. I hate to look like a grandmother to my younger children. I have colored my hair the last few years, it needs done again. I keep debating doing it. Thoughts to ponder today.

  14. My sister got her first grays at 19 (shhh…) so the fact that she colors her hair seemed pretty justified. I was in my upper 20s when I got my first silver πŸ˜‰ but it was pretty well hidden until I was 30. I’m 33 and just this morning I really really noticed it. I personally spend way more time in front of the stove than the mirror and my husband doesn’t seem to mind so I’m leaving it alone. Besides, I like being called ma’am and being taken seriously.

  15. Carolyn – this is an emotional subject! Like Karen, I went quite gray in my 20’s and as I approach 50 I’m still coloring – not completely but enough that it looks like I’m just going gray instead of completely gray. I struggle with being content with how God made me, what will my younger children feel when I’m confused with being their grandma, what are my motives for not going gray, etc. I find those who haven’t gone gray at an early age think that it’s just a vanity thing and can easily look down on those of us who have had to deal with it…..It’s not an easy thing since who we are is somewhat tied in with how we look – which I think the whole frump to pumps issue reinforces – when we feel we look “good” we feel better. It’s tough to be standing with a group of your peers and have a stranger think that you’re the MOM! πŸ™‚

  16. I agree with you about not being ashamed of aging or grey hair– it can be a badge of honor if it comes with wisdom. There are three reasons, however, that I can imagine it being desirable to color my hair even if I don’t go grey prematurely: If my husbands prefers my hair darker, if my grey hair grows in kinky and unmanageable(which often happens to ladies, and dyeing can tame this), or if the grey hair isn’t a pretty grey and washes out my skin tone. Some ladies, particularly fairer ones, can look prettier with grey hair than some of us olive-toned gals. Your hair is meant to frame your face, and if my grey hair is the wrong color for me I guess I’ll dye it, even if it’s only to another color of grey that suits me better! Also, I’ll wait and see what happens to my husband’s hair. I don’t want to look like his old lady. πŸ˜‰

  17. As Carolyn Mahaney and other Bible teachers have said (and who, incidentally, color their hair), do what pleases your husband πŸ™‚ Examine your motives. It isn’t sinful to look nice πŸ™‚ This is a hot button issue because it is one that there is *no way* to reveal the motives of the heart, the way words and some actions do. Gray hair is beautiful. So is blonde and brunette.

    a non-graying-yet-still-colored-hair-Mama πŸ™‚

  18. I’ve never dyed my hair (not even just to change my natural color), my Mother always advised against it, when I’d get into one of those “I want a new look” sort of moods ^-^ And I’m glad, I really like my brown hair with blond gold-ish highlights πŸ™‚ I have to say, I’m still dealing with the whole “one day my hair will be grey” thing…. I know it shouldn’t worry me, but I know it will feel so strange to see my hair different some day lol When my Mother started getting grey hair (she is still in the process of going grey even now though), both us (kids) and the person who cut our hair at the hair place said she should leave it, she has very pretty white/silver grey hairs! πŸ™‚ I’m amazed at how slowly her grey hairs have come in though, she started greying around her late 40’s or early 50’s and even now at 61, her original color is still very much there! I can’t help but be curious if it will finally be all grey when she hits 70 something? Its probably wrong to say this but its kind of like a fun adventure watching my Mom’s hair slowly turn a lovely grey, I only hope its half as much of one when its my turn ^-^ Grey enhances my Mother’s awesomeness (but she’s awesome no matter what of course)^-^

  19. I got my first gray strands at 19. I didn’t meet my husband until age 26 and had our first child just after I turned 28 already with lots of lovely, crystal highlights showing through. It was way easier to just leave things naturally, but when we were heading back to the States with #3 on his way, I knew it was probably time to do something.
    Personally, my husband and I are both happy with how I look, so it wasn’t vanity, but I’m well aware of what I represent with my appearance. The last thing I want women to think is, “look at that poor washed out wreck. There’s no way I’m putting my body through the wringer of having a large family and end up looking like her.”
    If a bottle of dye can make a big difference in my outward attractiveness, and for me it does, I’ll do it. But it will be lovely when my youngest is school age and I can let my hard earned wisdom-hair show through!

  20. I find it hard to understand why women who wear makeup would question dying their hair. I started going grey in my 20s and was not going to be grey headed before I had kids. πŸ™‚ I recently went quite a long time and my husband finally said, would you please have your hair colored already? It made me realize that part of looking attractive for my husband (at this time in our lives) includes not having heavily grey streaked hair.

  21. I started going grey after having my first child at 23, and have continued to since. I am now 30 and over half of my hair is noticeably grey. I had a time when I fought against it and colored my hair, but I examined myself and realized it was for vanity and nothing else. So, I stopped trying to hide my true self and embraced the grey. My husband still thinks I’m beautiful and, really, it is kind of pretty. πŸ™‚

  22. I have noticeable white “highlights” at 34 (and they aren’t traditional grey, they are bright white). I spent many years and too much money dyeing it. My husband doesn’t have a preference about my hair at all, and I realized that my motivation for continuing to dye (I experimented with color in my early 20s, and then started getting white hairs at 25, so I was covering that) was to fit in with society. Society says “grey hair is for old women”. I like to be a countercultural woman in many other aspects, so I’m not sure why I labored to conform in this area. While I would never condemn any single woman for dyeing, regardless of her reasons, I think that, as a whole, it’s a bit sad that even amongst Christian women, there’s resistance to ageing naturally. It would be so encouraging to see my fellow late 20 something and 30 something moms wearing their grey hairs with pride.

    In Christ,

  23. Mine started going grey at 18. Without coloring, it looks awful. I guess some is pride (at 37 and with a 3 year old, I don’t want to look like his grandma), but a lot of it is I just look better with my hair colored. I don’t necessarily see it as “vain,” but rather looking the best that I can. I agree with the poster above who said “My goal is to look as age appropriately natural” as I can. Someday I’ll let it grow out, but today isn’t that day.

  24. I am blessed with my mother’s genes, almost 69 and just a little silver at the temples. But I gave up liquid makeup and wear only lipstick. I am glad that many of my wrinkles are smile lines. But with Jesus as my Lord and Savior, why would I not smile!

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