An exception to the rule {Day 15}

It’s Friday, so let’s talk about something fun! I’ve loved reading all the comments from the posts, and I really appreciated all the thoughts shared on yesterday’s post about gray hair.ย Today we are going to talk about letting go of all our convictions regarding dress. Yes, you just read that right. Only for a certain time though. ๐Ÿ™‚

Have you ever considered that your husband might want to see you dressed in something a little more revealing than what you normally wear? Something fun, maybe a little shorter and cuter than your everyday clothes.


I’ll let you in on a little secret. ๐Ÿ™‚ We love to do dates at home, and while we haven’t done them nearly as often as we used to (thanks to a crazy college schedule), it can be just as much fun, if not more fun to stay at home for a date. We either put the children to bed early, or we put a movie (Duggar dvd!) on for them to watch.

When we do dates at home I have certain outfits tucked back that I wear just for Sean. They are adorable outfits, but not what I would consider appropriate (modest) to wear out in public.

It doesn’t have to be expensive. I found a cute black dress at a thrift store for $1.00! That simple effort can produce amazing results, mainly a husband head over heals in love with you for your date!

I hear from a lot of ladies who say their husband doesn’t really like them to dress modestly, that he prefers to have her “stuff” on display. ย I’ve often thought this is a good compromise, dress for your husband for a special date night once a week in clothes he likes, and then dress in clothes you feel comfortable in when going out!

Let’s not forget that we were sweethearts long before we became mothers! That is a huge motivating reason behind this “Frump to Pumps” series! Our husbands need to know that we remember them, in a way that goes beyond being thankful for the paycheck that they bring home every two weeks!

Be a little bold and daring every once in a while, and surprise your husband. I’d be shocked if he didn’t notice a dramatic difference in your appearance. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Today’s Challenge:

1. Get dressed!

2. Read day 15 from “Frumps to Pumps

3. Look through your closet for something fun to wear just for your husband! If you don’t have it, go shopping at the thrift store. You are sure to find something when modesty is not the top requirement! ๐Ÿ™‚




30 Comments on An exception to the rule {Day 15}

  1. “I hear from a lot of ladies who say their husband doesnโ€™t really like them to dress modestly, that he prefers to have her โ€œstuffโ€ on display. ” How do you counsel women who say this to you? I have had women tell me their husbands want them to wear bikinis. Since we are to obey our husbands in everything, it makes it tough. I believe if we feel we are in disobedience to God, we must obey Him. However, most wives can reason with their husbands when they feel their husbands are asking them to do something contrary to what they think is right.

    • I wore very revealing clothing on our honeymoon at a private lakehouse, including bikini. In public however I dress modestly. Dressing differently when with your husband is a good compromise I think, yet easier to do if you don’t have children yet!

    • I feel that if my husband wanted me to wear a bikini, I’d have to tell him, I could wear it around the house, but I don’t feel like I need to be showing my “stuff” for other men to look at. Let him know, in a kind gentle tone, that your “stuff” is for him only, not for other men to lust after. It’s wrong of him to want other men to look at you, causing them to lust. (stumbling block). I think he would see your point if presented to him in a logical, biblical manner ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I am in this same boat! I’m trying to tone it down a bit and hubby wants me in push-up bras and v-necks! He’s not unhappy with the way I dress, but wants me to show it off a bit when we go out. (I’m still feeling a little chubby after the kids and don’t feel comfortable in clothes that are tight or revealing. ) I fear I’m drifting onto the dowdy side of things in his eyes.

  3. I have been told from a few friends that their husband likes to have her “stuff” on display, too. For the most part, many of those husbands think that the wife wants to dress that way and it seems to be more of a communication issue. Very rarely would a husband prefer to see his wife’s “stuff” over her being comfortable in her clothing. I love this private date idea, a great way spice things up!

  4. My husband likes me to dress modest as he believes this is right but he is still a man and likes to see some skin on occasion. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Here is how we make both happen. We live on a farm in the middle of nowhere so. I have a couple of (inexpensive) “date night” dresses. We will have dinner out on the deck after everyone has gone to bed and I will wear things I would NEVER wear in front of anyone. I also have a bikini BUT it is worn ONLY in our pool in our backyard after everyone else has gone to bed. My hubby likes a lot BUT only in those circumstances.

  5. I never thought about having date clothes tucked away just for our husbands. Good thought! I’ll have to ask him what he would like to see me in. We do lots of time together at home, but not special dates like dinner. We do popcorn and a movie after the kids go to bed on Sunday night. Finances and babysitters don’t allow for more dates out of the house. One thing we’ve agreed on recently is that we need more time just the two of us, especially since the baby has been born.

  6. It is insecurity that makes some men want their wives to display their bodies in public. they want their wives to dress in a way that brings attention from other men, because if other men find their wives desirable it makes them feel better about themselves. These are often the same men who have issues with pornography. Dressing sexy at home will make him happy in the moment, but he still wont be satisfied when they go out, unless he has addressed his feelings of insecurity.

  7. This is a great idea! I used to do this. I remember one time when I was all dressed up in a red dress that he really liked. He was late getting home and there was no phone call. For the next hour I vacillated back and forth – I went so far to change out of the red dress several times. Eventually he arrived home – very late – but by God’s grace I was in the red dress. When he hugged me he said, “This is the best thing that has happened to me all day.”

    I loved being the best thing that had happened to him all day.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  8. This is a GREAT post with wonderful suggestions. My hubby, too, loves when I dress up in something a little sexier than my everyday wear, just for him.

    Occasionally I dress in those slightly-more-revealing outfits when we go out in public on a date. But I do not wear anything that reveals much (if any) cleavage; I don’t wear super-short skirts, I don’t wear anything that bares my tummy. But I do wear clothes that make my husband go “WOW.” Now, might I get noticed by other people/men for wearing these outfits? Maybe. But what I wear is more modest than much of what I see worn by girls on my (Christian) college campus. I just wear more flattering clothes when I’m on a date with my hubby than I generally wear to school. Besides, he likes “showing me off” a bit– not to the point where I’m going to encourage lustful thoughts in other men, but to the point where he can say, “Yes, this is my wife, and isn’t she beautiful?”

    (I’m not going to get in the debate of who-is-responsible-for-lustful-thoughts right now, but IMO both parties are responsible: women for dressing [reasonably] modestly [that doesn’t mean frumpy!] and men for controlling their thoughts.)

  9. I must confess I’m not married (yet), but this is what I always thought. I have no problem being more “sexily dressed” or “immodest” in front of the husband I hope to have one day. I figure that’s the whole point of modesty, too show myself to my husband when we’re alone, so all that good stuff (bare skin and all that ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) is for him alone. Being with/or alone with your husband is the one time when its legal to get wild, that’s what God intended! This is a very good reminder husbands are an exception to the rule of modesty ^-^

  10. I’d be interested in hearing from moms with older or adult children at home. In our house, the reality of putting the children to bed early is no more! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. I wanted to thank you for your honesty and insight into dressing well for your husband. As a single girl, I hear varying opinions on this subject from time to time and I think you have found the best way and love your idea! ๐Ÿ˜€ Modesty should not be for your husband after marriage as much as it is for in public around other men, and I think that needs to be taught to the single girls too. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for sharing!

  12. I love your blog. It is the first one I read every morning. When I saw this post, I assumed it was an “in the bedroom” post, but I was pleasantly surprised. I had already thought about dressing differently behind those closed doors, but hadn’t considered an in between for dates at home :). I have a friend who dresses VERY se*y on public dates with her husband, but I had always had an issue with it, although I understood wanting to dress differently for our husbands on date night. This is a great compromise! I’m sure this will make my husband very happy! Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. After 13 years if marriage I just learned that some immodest clothes on top of that bedroom lingerie in the bedroom goes a long way! While I’ve always know my husband loves it when I dress in lingerie for him at night, I never thought to put on clothes on top of that.

    It’s also nice to plan a date night that you fix your makeup and hair fresh with those clothes on after the kids are in bed. That is the time to be immodest. Maybe if the wives who husbands want them to dress this way would do it for their husbands only and show them some skin at home they might be satisfied.

    • That’s why I like pretty bras and panties. No underwear from a plastic bag for me. I also love corsets. So pretty, and hold you in too!

  14. After reading this post and everyone’s comments, I found myself surprised. I am wondering: how there could be exceptions to modesty of this sort? If we dress modestly to respect ourselves and husbands, and most of all God, than why would we compromise to attract our husband’s eye from the exact thing we wish to protect him and ourselves from? Just because we are in the privacy of our home doesn’t mean that we’re alone, either. God is present and deserves the purity of our hearts and bodies, no matter the surroundings. How can it be otherwise?

    • Our bodies are for our husbands. Don’t forget God sees us naked in the shower! Psalm of Solomon even talks about the Shulamite woman and her husband, and their love life. Let’s not legalistic within our own homes. If we don’t give our husbands our bodies for him to see, he will WANT to see the women who dress immodestly, they show things we don’t! If our husbands get a show at home, he won’t go looking for what he isn’t getting. My breasts shall satisfy my husband all the day long, (proverbs 5:18) they can’t do that if we cover them up 24/7!

  15. Another angle to this post which nobody has mentioned is pants. I have a pair of dress pants which are very modest and I like to wear around the house. I have not worn them out in public as I feel that it might be viewed as inappropriate by some of my close friends to wear pants in public.

    What is the general view on wearing pants in private?

    • I don’t think there is anything wrong with wearing pants for your husband on a date night at home! For me personally, all the rules leave if I’m dressing for a date night at home with my husband. ๐Ÿ™‚ They just don’t apply to that situation.

  16. As a long-timed married woman, I approve this message! But I am curious as to why the Frumps to Pumps challenge didn’t credit Sarah Mae at all, unless I just missed it somewhere.

    • There are lots of places in the challenge that credits Sarah Mae, I even emailed her letting her know that I was doing this 30 day challenge. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Please forgive me. I was hoping that I just missed it! Because I came by a Pinterest link, I am new to your blog, so when I clicked the Frumps to Pumps picture above your post, nothing happened. Somehow I missed that “unassuming and obscure” (ahem) link picture on the side of your blog:O Next time just make it the size of your entire blog, and I might see it:P

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