What men think about bikinis

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I read this article today called “Should Christians Wear Bikinis?” and wanted to share it with you all. Of course my first thought was “NO” and wondered if I would find anything interesting in the article besides the usual thoughts concerning the immodesty of wearing a bikini. I was pleasantly surprised! The below YouTube video was extremely interesting to watch, and I encourage you to watch it. Even if you have never worn a bikini and have no plans to ever put one on, this is some really good information to have when talking to others about modesty.

 

Click here to read the article and see her recommendations on modest swimsuits (I don’t agree with all of the sites listed, but some are great resources!).

Comments

  1. I couldn’t read the original article because it was blocked by my parental controls. So glad you shared this video. I have switched to a truly modest swimsuit and am not going back, ever.

  2. Wow. Very interesting. Can’t say I’m surprised though!

  3. Kenda Wathen says:

    Thanks for this reminder. I am glad to have the reminder as I strive to now raise two girls to be modest. I cannot see letting them wear a bikini as a girl only to change that when they begin developing. Once again this affirms my husband and my choices in raising our girls, and our son.

    • Rex Bittle says:

      We also have chosen this path of teaching our children. My mother passed on some advice she received as a young parent – “why would you start something that you are going to have to stop?”. I would consider it an injustice to my child to purposefully introduce them to something that will be detrimental later on and create that doubt and conflict for them to have to deal with. The ungodliness around them will do enough of that without me contributing to it.

  4. This is what I shared on FB regarding your post, the article and the video. Thanks for sharing!

    “Ok, so I wasn’t going to share this because of the name of the article cited in the blog post: “Should Christians wear bikinis?”

    I hate these types of articles because there should be no difference…what’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander. If Christians shouldn’t wear bikini’s, it should be due to a Godly principle – which would also apply to every person of any religion, regardless of their understanding or acceptance of that Godly principle. You say it’s semantics, I say it’s extremely important for “Christians” to put ourselves on the same level as everyone else because we ARE the same, if not worse than the non-Christians we know! The only difference is that God has allowed us to accept the payment Jesus has paid on our behalf.

    Whew! Thanks for letting me vent!

    Back to the blog post. WATCH THE VIDEO!!! As a man, I was surprised and it made me think introspectively about my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. We can even discuss it if you’d like. I’d love to hear what you think.”

  5. Thank you for sharing!! My daughters & I do not wear bikinis.. but I thought this was wonderful! Will let them watch it, too!! Thanks!

  6. Brandi M says:

    It’s Jason Evert!!!
    Jason & Christalina Evert’s website: http://www.chastity.com

  7. Heather McMurphy says:

    We do not go to the beach. I live in Florida and one of the first questions is where do you go to the beach. I always reply my daughter gets a bath. Plain and simple. I was raised that you cover up because God covered Adam and Eve with Coats of skins in the garden after they sinned. So if they sinned, hmmm well then I guess we should cover before we sin or make some else sin. The Lord Jesus Christ should be our example and the world and their standards. We are bought with a price, that price was High, we don’t want people to see us in our underwear and yet we would still go to the beach and add a poke-a-dot or two and stay what gives…I will stand before the Lord one day and I will answer for how I dress and how it affects men….

    • Caroline says:

      We used to go to Florida and visit my Grandparents. They took us to a beach where hardly anyone went to, every time we went there were not very many people there at all. I guess I felt like I saw just as much walking into a grocery store in Florida as I did if I was on this particular beach (I’m not supporting all beaches because I know some are simply terrible). I’m amazed over what people in florida get by with wearing in the stores. It’s terrible!

      • Caroline says:

        Oh, and I always wore a t-shirt with jean short overalls on at the beach. :)

        • I think there is a thing called too much cover up and what you just described Caroline is. I think a modes one piece bathing suit is fine.

    • Well, I think not going to the beach, which I believe, btw, is a wonderful gift from God is going way overboard!! I love the beach. Do you really think that the clothing that God made for Adam and Eve was super modest? I don’t! I think it probably covered a lot less than we realize! Let’s not place modesty and what we think it is as an idol in our lives. When we think like this it is legalistic and self-righteous. I’m all for modesty but let’s have balance.

      • Tamara A. says:

        So, would you wear your bra and panties to the beach? If not, why not? It’s like the speaker said “it’s the same amount of material”. So why do people think that if it’s a bikini (as opposed to bra and panties) it’s ok? It’s no different.

  8. Heather McMurphy says:

    Let me verify we are in the world, but NOT of the world, we do not take on the world’s standards!!!!!!

  9. This was very good to watch and confirmed again that God’s plan for women dressing modestly is for our protection. I am seeing over and over that God’s ways of living are for our protection, and I need to be protected!

    I made a blog post and linked back to you.

    http://heartsforhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/05/what-men-think-about-bikinis.html

    Mrs.Hearts

  10. Samantha says:

    maybe I’m the only one who thinks this way but I DO wear 2 peice suits, don’t know if you’d call them bikinis though. The reason is that those one peice suits do a few things that I think are way too immodest for my own taste. such as riding up your butt and other places forcing you to remove a wedgy all the time and possibly revealing far more than you care to. Also I find that the tank top and shorts or skirts versions of bathing suits is far less revealing than that skin tight one peice that rides way over my hips and exposes my whole back because I’m just too tall to wear them or they are designed that way. I buy swimming suits that I will feel comfortable in if I have to run into a conveince store for some chips and soda before heading to the lake…. but they are two peices.

    • I admire your desire to cover more than other swimsuits, other than the simple discomfort they may cause. While a two-piece may cover more than a typical bikini, it still may not cover exactly what God might deem nakedness. It’s important for us all to stay open-minded in the study of modesty. The shame God thinks we should display could very well be different from the shame we end up displaying on account of what we wear.

      • Caroline says:

        I have only seen one friend wear a two piece that I would consider half way modest, for a swimming suit in that style. You didn’t see any of her stomach, she had a higher cut top on with shorts for the bottoms. The reason she wore an actual two piece is so she could get out of the pool and nurse if she need to. I personally only feel comfortable wearing one of the modest swimsuits with sleeves and leggings underneath, or I’ve worn a t-shirt with jean short overalls over that before.

      • M Modest says:

        ???????
        The 2 piece tank bathing suits are often FAR more modest than a 1 piece. A woman can choose a skirt or short style bottom with these so her rear-end isn’t sticking out and her bikini line is covered.
        If you’re going to make such extreme statements about bathing suits and “shame” you might want to be a little better informed.
        I am all for modesty, and consider it first priority in my dress, but some of these posts are ridiculous. And sometimes I wonder why people find Christians self-righteous. Thanks for the reminder!

        • Heather says:

          I switched to two pieces this year for the first time because they were more modest than the one-pieces I could afford.

      • Heather says:

        Quite frankly, I’m wondering how you think you know what God deems to be nakedness?

        • God does speak in His Scriptures about dressing modestly. There is no where it says for women to wear only dresses. But He does make Himself very clear for women to dress like women and men to dress like men. Not to mix up the two. I wear jeans sometimes, yet I am trying to wear dresses more of the time. Not to be more “christian”, but as my own conviction. Only because I feel it is more feminine of me to wear dresses. I think it is for most women. There are curves women should not be showing, to their benefit.

          I want to make a clear distinction from how the world says I should dress, and I want to show that I am indeed a women, feminine. In a world that is crying out for there to be “no gender” I want to cry out in my modest clothing that there IS male and female. VERY different.. Not the same at all. The only way men and women are alike is that we are His children created in the image of God.

          As for what God deems modest, “Make linen undergarments as a covering for the body, reaching from the waist to the thigh. Exodus 28:42

          It is about the heart. Not the dress/jeans issue. Yes, the clothes will ultimately represent what is in your heart. You can dress modest with Jeans and with skirts. You can also be immodest in jeans or in a skirt.

          • Please read the whole chapter of Exodus 28, as it is not very good study of scripture to take a verse out of context. The biblical dress standards that you referred to are specifics meant for the priests during the Old Testament times. If you are to follow those standards, there is a whole lot more in your life that needs to be changed, (wearing a tunic, sash, cap…).
            Whether we like it or not, modesty is tightly linked with the culture we each live in. I live in an Asian culture where (thankfully) the women’s swim wear is very modest (because of their fear of the sun), but the men’s normal swim wear is a speedo. I also am related to people who lived many years in a country in which women didn’t wear bras, and if they were given one would display it on the outside of their shirt because it was not something they knew what to do with. I am also closely connected with people who live in a country where all women wear skirts, Christian or not, and yet there, there is often open displays of complete upper torso’s during nursing. These are just a few examples of cultural differences.
            Yes, as Christians we should hold ourselves to a standard that is much higher than the worlds. And yes, dressing provocatively can increase the chance of men around them having wrong thoughts. However, we as Christians need to be fully aware of what the Bible says, and not speak where the Bible is silent.
            I am thankful to serve a God of grace…

    • 3girlzmommy says:

      I agree. When a suit is required (swimming lessons)there are more modest 2 pieces. We live near lots of fast moving water and I feel swimming lessons are a safety issue for my daughters. My daughters wear surf shirts and matching shorts at beach OR tankini (tank swimsuit top covers mid driff) and shorts. Those one pieces have “cut outs” low cut and the leg cuts are too high and sexy. There are more modest 2 pieces out there.

    • :) We also wear the 2-pc, tankini style swim suits. My shorts are actually quick-dry sports shorts w/ a cute tankini top. I like that you can buy the pieces separate!

    • I have a 2-piece bathing suit too… but it doesn’t scream bathing suit. I made it myself, with a pair of knee-length shorts and a sleeveless top. The fabric is water resistant, polyester, I think (I bought it on the dollar rack at Wal-Mart years ago), and though I made it semi-fitted, it’s loose and allows me to move even though it’s not stretchy. I usually wear a bathing suit underneath, but no one can tell if I’ve got a one or two piece suit on under, because it covers everything up nicely. For those who are uncomfortable with sleeveless, cap sleeves would look really nice with it. (I made the arm holes very fitted, tailored for my shape, so you can’t see anything.) It doesn’t cling when wet, like a t-hirt, so I think it is probably the best of both worlds!

  11. I like that video. What he says makes a lot of sense! Great reminder to all women…if you want to be treated well, act the part and *dress* the part! Modesty is a blessing for us, too.

  12. Liz Robinson says:

    This is a great video! I am going to save this and share it with some family. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  13. Mother of 5 says:

    I enjoyed the video immensely! However I am disturbed by the article for the fact of the supposed picture of a modest bathing suite. Tanned legs, and short skirts is Not modest apparel with shamefacedness. It is sad to see the state of our Christian society today, when it comes to female dress. We have come so far, its a wonder if we will ever truly return to Biblical modest dress!

    • Although this is an old comment, I felt compelled to reply.

      “Tanned legs and short skirts is Not modest apparel with, shamefacedness.” I’m sorry, but now “tanned legs” are immodest? So the fact that your legs look a certain way is inherently immodest and shameful? Do you realize that THIS is, in fact, terribly objectifying to women? The reality is that the feminine form is beautiful. A woman of God should certainly make an effort to honor her brothers in Christ, but there comes a point where men need to do the right thing and simply avert their eyes if a woman’s SKIN TONE is causing them to stumble.

  14. Melanie H says:

    I have never worn a bikini because I am not a very small person. Growing up with parents who wanted us to dress modest, I was ok with that. As I hit high school a lot of my friends did wear bikinis and in some way I wish I that I could. I thought that was what guys really wanted. But as I got older and I met my husband, he made me see things in a different light. He was a new christian when we began dating and he would tell me how girls he had dated in the past would dress very skimpy. At the time I was jealous because he had dated some very attractive girls, and I am pretty plane jane . As our relationship grew and we got married, he let me know that the reason he was attracted to me and married me was because of my personality. Because of my modest clothing he was able to see my personality and not just my looks. He encourages me to be modest and thinks I look the most beautiful when I am. I think many teen and young girls should learn the importance of this, so they will attract a good Godly guy and not just someone who is lusting after them.

  15. Thank you for sharing! This is great!

  16. Thank you for sharing my post! I’m so glad you found it useful to share.
    Many blessings,
    Carla Anne

  17. Noone should wear bikinis whether your a christian or not. It is disgusting, unless you are in a fenced in area with no men around. I don’t understand how women can go out on the beach like they do. I would feel like I was naked. Why do you want to show off your body to other men? It is wrong, wrong, wrong.

    • I do wear a bikini but it is not a skimpy one. Mine is a bikini top (well covered) and then long girl swim trunks that go to my knees. I never felt comfortable wearing any less. One of my good friends through out high school came with my family and I to the pool. I’m the oldest of 6 kids the oldest of the kids after me being my 15 year old brother. She came in wearing a bikini she bought offline and it was a push up tub top and boy short bottoms. I was in shock. I know mine may not be the best it could be but to wear that in front of people let alone my family was just crazy. I asked her to leave and we still talk now but haven’t been good friends since. I just thought it was gross and disrespectful.

  18. I’ve always been taught and am teaching this to my daughter and sons – When people look at you they should see Jesus, not you.
    Thanks for the posting the video.

  19. Candace says:

    Spoken from a childs perspective: We were watching a show on TV and a commercial came on with a woman wearing a bikini in it…my 6 year old son said in an alarmed, aghast tone “mommy, that girl is wearing her underwear!” We then got into the conversation of modesty. In the end he was frustrated that some woman wear bathing suits that look like under clothing. He also remarked(completely unprompted) that one woman who was wearing a full bathing suit with a wrap around her waist was beautiful.

  20. Thankful for God's Grace says:

    I can’t seem to get to the article, either through the link you provided or through her blog itself…any help? Loved the video and will be sharing with others who are fighting the good fight for modesty in ourselves and our daughters!

    • Caroline says:

      Someone mentioned above that their parental controls blocked them from the original website, so that might be why.

      • Thankful for God's Grace says:

        We currently do not have any parental controls (need to look into that though!) It says the requested URL is not found. Thanks for your help!

        • Thankful for God's Grace says:

          Yeah, it worked today! I agree with this post and the need for modesty, not only on the beach but everywhere. I am thankful for the modest site links (just wish the ones I would feel comfortable wearing didn’t cost so much!) Caroline, keep encouraging us in our desire to be modest for the Lord!! I know I need the encouragement as the world around us get farther and farther from modest (even in the professing church).

  21. I just love that you posted this!!! Its amazing to see the studies done on this. But all one has to do is read the bible and see the warnings about how we should carry ourselves. I have not worn a bikini in about 4 years because I got tired of men gawking at my body and God seriously convicted me. I am glad He did.

  22. HappilyMarried says:

    I tend to agree with the following articles far more:
    http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/op-ed-blog/26523-is-modest-really-hottest
    http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/21668-modesty-is-more-than-dressing-qappropriatelyq

    Although I must say, even the attitude-causing-lust vs. attire-causing-lust is confusing to me, because I am not a sensual person. I walk in a casual way. I have few curves to speak of, and I rarely show them. But like I said, I have been most often hit on when dressed in a modest ladylike way, or in a tomboyish way (something about my crew-neck, loose-fitting NFL team t-shirt!). My theory is that it’s just that I’m tall and thin, so people notice me. And there’s nothing I can do about that!

  23. Julie G says:

    I wear knee-length bike/yoga shorts
    that are a little big (but not so big as to
    impede movement). I wear them with
    a modest yoga top…& let me tell you:
    those are NOT as easy to find as I thought
    they would be!

  24. Ashley S says:

    I couldn’t retrieve the video either, however have had this conversation with many friends. I have 2 teenage sons and don’t have to deal with it on that end, but do practice modesty myself in the household with respect to them. It’s not just girls we need to teach, we have to reeducate boys to let girls know how being imodest puts them in an uncomfortable position. Education and communication all around is so importantw

  25. That video was awesome. Now I just need to get to work sewing my swimsuit. Costco has some pretty modest swimsuits right now for sale for sun protection.

  26. Interesting! Thanks for sharing this.

  27. I’ve seen this before so good…and such and encouragement!

  28. Caroline,

    Outstanding blog, and outstanding topic! I’m the writer, director and producer for a faith-based documentary entitled Rite of Passage the Film. This topic is a tough one especially when raising 5 (soon to be 6) boys. We’ve had some issues with our computer and searches for bikinis (and yes, I have filters on my computer), as you well know when raising teenage boys curiosity can become a major factor. The sad fact of the matter is that our young ladies within the church are at times no different than the young ladies of our culture. Videos like this are awesome in pointing out the value of modesty, and how it relates to God honoring purity. My boys watched it and gained a better understanding of why I teach and say the things that I do.

    Lastly, if I may Caroline my website for those that are raising sons is riteofpassagethefilm.com, I also have a blog at riteofpassagethefilm.wordpress.com

    Thanks again for a great post!

    Joe Stapp

  29. Rebekah says:

    Hmmm…..interesting. However, it said that the images of the bikini clad women had their heads cropped off….therefore, I do not find it AS odd that they were seen as objects rather than humans. Just saying.

  30. So its ok for a woman to wear a bikini in a picture as long as her head is not cropped off?
    If a woman is hit on not wearing a bikini, and its not for her personality or her mind, but strictly for what shes wearing, and with guys thats pretty typical, maybe that woman should rethink what shes wearing, whether its a bikini or sports jersey or tomboy type stuff. Maybe its not just beachwear that needs to be rethought, but every piece of clothing she wears. Its not just bikinis that degrade women, but short skirts, low cut tops, tight jeans, dresses you cant sit down in without crossing your legs or pulling it down. Modesty is so much more than clothing. Its an attitude and way of living that says, “I respect myself and those around me and i dont need to show off my body to feel good about myself because God loves me for who i am. Thats all i need to understand to know that my identity is found in him and not skimpy and revealing outfits.” God is who we want the world to see, not us, because is our light to shine in this world, and that is all that matters.

  31. I find value in this article and respect it totally! I think it was very informative. I do have to say the studies were biased as they cut the heads off the women. Of course the men didn’t see them as people. I am a Christian…..I also wear bikinis. I am not a disgusting person for it, less of a Christian, nor do I find less value or morals in myself or others who wear them. I have been with my husband since I was 15 and we have an amazing marriage. We have three amazing children. As these responses are from Christians….I am amazed at how some of the commenters are judgmental of women who do. Wearing a bikini doesn’t determine your character as a person. If you have issues and judge me because I wear a bikini….I am sad for you because you are missing out on meeting a really great person.

    • I agree with this completely! Some of these comments dishonor God than a woman in a bikini or two piece bathing suit! I understand the information the video is giving and I respect it..I also see why men would consider women in bikini’s with their heads cut off to be objects..their heads are cut off! As Christians, sometimes we sin more within ourselves by casting harsh judgement on others rather than focusing on our relationship with God. Remember, God ate and spent time with the worst of sinners..not that wearing a bikini makes you a sinner (although, I am sure many of you would disagree with me on that). Raise your family the way you choose and wear a one piece if you choose, but don’t condemn other Christians who choose to wear a two piece or allow their children to do so. Relationship vs. religion.

      • Christians often can have a harsh and judgmental tone, and certainly some of the above comments do. I recognize that I need refinement in that area, too.

        I would, however, suggest that wearing a bikini that is revealing can be considered a sin. As a Christian, we are to judge what is right and what is wrong based on the standard set in the Bible, not based on our own personal feelings or the feelings of others.

        The Bible provides principles for being modest, and yes, there is room for judgement in that … and we will all take slightly different views. What the video and the study do confirm, though, is that when a man sees a woman dressed in revealing attire, his mind goes places that it ought not go. I can attest to that being true.

        So, I would ask that you consider the principles set out in I Corinthians 10. Having the knowledge that immodest dress can easily cause a man to sin with his thoughts, should you be more careful in this area.

        Don’t get me wrong, a man is still responsible for his thoughts and actions. But, with the knowledge that immodest dress has this impact on a man (i.e. – a stumbling block), by deliberately dressing immodestly, isn’t the woman also sinning?

  32. georgiamom says:

    I watched the video and heard what the man had to say about the study. I respect other’s feelings about dressing modestly, etc. But did anyone besides me notice that the study did not test men’s reactions to women in varying degrees of a bathing suit (tankini, one piece, etc.)? Isn’t it also interesting that they didn’t reveal the women’s heads/faces in the study. We already know that that is detrimental to the way men view women. It objectifies them. So I guess what I am saying is that you can feel uncomfortable wearing a bikini and choose not to, but I don’t think the study the man is talking about validates this choice. It wasn’t thorough enough to prove anything.

  33. Our body parts are called “private parts” for a reason and believe full well they belong covered up….Thanks for a great post.

  34. Thanks for posting this! I am seventeen and am striving to be a modest and chaste lady. I find it easy and even a desire to dress modestly…I guess the Lord has planted that conviction very deep! I went to the article and began reading the comments there, didn’t make threw them though because I got so frustrated at what people were saying. Christian women should be happy to wear modest apparel and take on the responsibility we have to cover ourselves, of course we’re not always responsible for men’s lustful thoughts but if we are the cause behind it I definitely think we are. We should not make excuses for the way we dress (whether wearing bikinis or other clothing that show our bodies), because by dressing immodestly we may be causing a stumbling block for men.
    I also do agree with the ones that mentioned above that this should not only be for Christian women but is indeed the way I feel all women should show respect for men.
    Thanks again for the post…you got me fired up which is not the easiest thing to do!

  35. I struggle with the whole bathing suit issue. I have a special needs child who excels in two things – swimming and music. She has the desire to be modestly attired and the things other kids wear absolutely shock her. BUT you cannot be a competitive swimmer and where a t-shirt and shorts. Her preferred bathing suit when not competing is much more modest than her competition suit but even her competition suit is much more modest than what we see most girls her age wearing at the pool.

  36. Great article! I’m certainly not your typical target audience… as a mother of two, I was proud to have bought a bikini a few weeks ago, but this certainly shines a new light on the topic. Thanks for sharing such a great video. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts in the future! :)

  37. I have to say something here. This is a cultural mindset, not a sweeping gesture across the board for ALL Christian females. I grew up on the beaches in Florida and was a professional dancer for years. It is ridiculous to assume that on a 100 degree day with 90% humidity that the “appropriate” thing to wear to the beach would be shorts and a tee-shirt. (If you think this is so, I dare you to sit at the beach for 4 hours in the middle of that day and see how you feel. Your modest attire will be sticking to every crevice of your sweat-drenched body. How’s that for modest?) The Florida mindset is different on modesty. To be “revealing” you would wear a string bikini or a thong. A normal (read: covering all your essential “private parts”) bikini, tankini, or one-piece suit was NEVER seen as inappropriate or immodest by Floridians. It was the tourists from the Midwest that usually caused a stir at being inappropriate, whether by leering or dressing that way. I do agree with some of the above posts on modesty isn’t completely about what you wear, but rather your heart attitude behind it. Whenever I’m in Florida, I will wear a tankini because I prefer the look and style and modesty-level. And I don’t think that my reputation or sexual appeal is compromised by that choice. Men who have a sexual problem will leer at women whether they are in a Burqa or a bikini. (Personal experience with a close family member who is an unrepentant sex addict.)

    • I hesitate to reply, as I truly don’t want to be prideful, but I must say, it IS possible to dress very modestly in hot weather. I lived for 2 years in the Philippines, where the weather is always hot and humid. It averaged one hundred degrees with high humidity year-round. Besides that, we were so close to the equator and the sun was HOT. I always wore mid-calf or ankle-length skirts or dresses. I swam in a sport fabric shirt, and a Hawaiian-print cotton skirt. I was quite comfortable this way. Besides that, I am all about Organics and hate to put sunscreen on my body, and covering up is much better healthwise. I love my Saviour after the incredible, amazing things He’s done for me, and want Him and the whole world to know it. I like to be modest, and hope in that way to please Him who created this beautiful world for us to enjoy.

  38. Allin K. says:

    There is something to be said about a guy learning to look at a girl in the eye no matter what she is wearing. I was apart of a homeschooling group that some would consider exrtreamly modest. Trust me my mind could wander even surrounded by girls modestly dressed.

    To put on women the responsibility of men’s inner thought life is wrong. I as a guy am responsible for what I think about and let run around in my head. Learning to look a lady in the eyes no matter what she is wearing is a discipline that must be learned. I am not saying that you should not be cognisant of what you wear for your own consience.

    I hope you see where I am coming from. If you walk out into the world, a guy has got to learn to handle his eyes, and also the difference between seeing beauty and lusting. I will freely admit that I have lusted over many a christain girl in a modest top and skirt. As I have gotten better, not perfect mind you, I have been able to look a girl in the eye and not even know she was wearing a “revealing” outfit if you will.

    All this to say we are called to freedom, and not added bondage. So where ever the balance is I hope you can find it.

    In growning up in a really strict home, with a strict program, I heard the thinking that when a girl got raped she must have been wearing something that made the guy rape her. This is the extream of the thinking which I hope makes the point. The guy was a rapist no matter what the woman was wearing. If a guy has a lust problem, no matter what woman he see’s that tempts his lust, he will lust after her. Don’t put the responsibility of our fallen natures on what a girl wears or doesn’t wear. This is also a control teaching for men to rein in their women. I know of times where this type of teaching has been used as a form of abuse. So please, know I am only trying to bring some balance to this issue of modesty.

    I hope this is helpful, I look forward to some good conversation.

    Allin K.

    • Another very good point….. Once in the middle of winter while I was wearing a long skirt and long sleeve shirt (not form fitting at all) I had a man wonder (out loud to me) “what do you got under there and way?” Seriously?! That’s when I decided that no matter what I am wearing some men are just perverts!

  39. Really??? I mean really? I’m just thinking of good old Adam and Eve.
    Hey, all for one’s opinion; If women should not wear bikinis, then men should not take off their shirts to swim. A bit overboard in my opinion LOL

  40. Wow this is very interesting. I have always dressed modestly, but its amazing to see other’s opinions about modesty. I wish we could start a petition for modest clothing in every city for all age groups so that we as women can show we truly are in control of our bodies and ourselves. Every young woman needs to grow up with this imprinted into their mind. Coming from Mom’s Thumb Reviews.

  41. Odettesharesherheart says:

    I’m glad you shared this. I taught my girls to dress modestly by example, so there was never any inclination on their part to do anything else. As children, they were never dressed exposing their belly or short shorts, nor anything tight. In my heart I knew this was right & correct.

  42. Man looks on the outside, but GOD looks at the heart.
    Not wearing a bikini does not make you a modest women.

  43. My point exactly . . . . it’s a non issue!

    • Caroline says:

      No, that’s not what I mean. It is true that God looks at the heart, but that does not give us the liberty to use that excuse to don a bikini on and say that God knows our hearts. We could use that excuse to do all sorts of wrong things. There is a right and a wrong. A woman could dress in a modest dress and still not have a modest spirit. But I can’t say that a woman can wear a bikini and have a modest spirit….You can’t bare almost all you have for the world to see and not care if you have a truly modest spirit.

      • Caroline says:

        Let me be clear though, I understand that some ladies have never been taught that it is wrong, and just don’t know any better. But I’m trying to set a standard and say that it is not modest to wear a bikini, so ladies can ponder on that and learn from now on. Multiple studies have shown that men find women very attractive and sexy in a bikini. If we have our own private pool and we are with our husband and want to wear one-fine. But we should not feel the freedom to look as sexy as we want in front of our fellow brothers in Christ.

        • God's Girl says:

          I wear Bikini’s and I am a follower of Christ. I don’t think we should judge others for wearing Bikini’s or choosing not to. Their are some countries wear Christian women don’t even wear shirts and it is perfectly acceptable in their culture. Salvation and relationship with Christ is something every Christian should work out for themselves. The Holy Spirit will convict every believer according to His own standards. He doesn’t need our help to judge.

          • What country? I’d like to know. In my experience in evangelization of a culture that wears little clothing, once the Gospel message is embraced, proper covering of the body usually follows.

  44. amother says:

    Dress how you want other women to dress around your husband.

  45. a teenager says:

    While modesty is EXTREMELY important to me, I would say that I prefer to wear a bikini top underneath a loose t-shirt and a pair of board shorts. That way I’m still covered and comfy. Tankini’s and one-pieces are too constricting and never fit properly (not to mention how far down the necklines are).

  46. I am a teenage Christain girl and i have always been taught to dress modestly. I have read all these comments and I am stunned to see such bickering among Christains. Obviously wearing a bikini offends alot of Christain people. So, don’t. This is causing alot of fighting, and is disrupting unity in the Church.
    Our culture is quickly headed in a bad direction concerning modesty. I mean, look around. Like it has been said before, is is the social norm to wear string bikinis to the beach. But, this is just another opportunity to stand out and be the “peculiar people” we were meant to be by dressing modestly. Be in the world, but not of it. You are supposed to be identified as a Christian where ever we go. How are we supposed to be identified as a Christain at the beach if we show up in a string bikini?
    It’s very simple. Bikinis take a man’s mind to places it shouldn’t go. That said, i realize a man is supposed to train his thought to be pure, just as women do. But why make it harder on him? Why be a stumbling block to his growth? I don’t mean to be rude or offend anyone, but that is the way the I see it and the way the Bible sees it.

  47. Can I ask all you guys a question? why is it not modest for a woman to swear a bikini but a man can be shirtless and go about his things. What does the bible teach about shirtless men or what does the bible say about any aspects of men clothing?

    • Thank you for that. I’m very bothered by all of the attention on female modesty and not on male modesty. I will address that further below. But until then, here’s the way I see it. If you wouldn’t wear it out on the streets, to school, to work, etc., don’t wear it at the beach. How does where you are change anything as long as other people are around? If it isn’t appropriate elsewhere, why should it be appropriate at the beach? Listen to how God is speaking to your heart. Many think that there are a lot of judgmental attitudes here, and I did see a couple (keep in mind I saw this on both sides of the spectrum.), but mostly, I see it as people caring about 1. How Christians are viewed, 2. How women are viewed, and 3. How YOU are viewed.

      I know that Christ sees our hearts, but how we look outside is a reflection of who we are inside. I don’t believe God wants us to be shameful of our bodies, but sin did deposit shame on this world, and there are many who will exploit it and you, taking your picture and posting it on the web, things like that. Maybe think about it this way: When I frown on someone wearing a bikini, it is because I truly care about that person and I’m concerned for how they will be viewed. You know, I can’t remember specifically, but I’m sure that the women in modest clothes used in this study probably had their heads cut off, too, and they they were still viewed as human beings.

      Men are visual, simple as that, and the more of your body you show, the more they have to fantasize about. Before I was married, my husband had to ask me now to wear a certain pair of pants (I’ve since started wearing more skirts), because they were very eye catching. I, in turn, asked him not to wear his shirts tucked in. Men, when your shirts are tucked in and your crotch is exposed, it can be very eye catching, to say the least. Also, I am a survivor of sexual abuse, and it can also be traumatizing, causing flashbacks, etc. I think we all need to think about how we dress. Like another poster said, “Dress the way you want other women to dress around your husband.” I would add to that, dress the way you want other ladies to dress around your boyfriend, your brother, your father, grandfather. Dress in such a way that you wouldn’t be uncomfortable being shown on a billboard. Dress the way you would want your little sister to dress.

      Because we should be examples for them. The only person I want seeing that much of my body is my husband. And I want my niece to be safe. I want her to be respected. Certainly there will be people out there that won’t fall into the norm and will hit on a woman in a burqa, but that does not mean we should conform because of them. Our bodies are for one man alone.

      And men, I do believe as well that your bodies are for one woman alone. And I don’t think you should take your shirts off at the beach.

      • Ooops. He had to ask me NOT to wear a certain pair of pants. I did read through for editing, but it has been a long day.

  48. Jennifer says:

    I don’t usually comment on sites like this, but first of all one person commented you should not even go to the beach. That is too extreme. We travel all over the world and adore beaches & will not be giving up God’s beautiful beaches anytime soon. Also, another commented that Adam and Eve were dressed very scantily, as well. They were naked in the garden before sin. But that is beside the point. There are many beautiful bathing suits out there, as long as one is covered and it’s modest, I think it’s fine. Like another woman commented, instead of focusing on what people wear to the beach, there are also people who dress horrendously when going to the stores to just do their grocery shopping. Also, there are nude beaches. You know, we can only try as Christians. But part of our freedom in this world that was bought with a price, is freedom of speech. I don’t think any of us would like living in the Muslim world where you have to be degraded by wearing burkas. So we need to count our blessings & just use wise judgment.

  49. Geez! what a lot of comments. I had to add. I wish there were more comments on here regarding ways to reach hurting people who need Jesus – not in momentous modest melodramas!!
    I know this comment will not persuade any of you to change your stance…but would any consider diverting this eccentric exuberance from a one piece to getting real peace???
    Bottom line: Jesus came for the crushed, Jesus came for the weary, Jesus came for the exasperated – people who are all those things can wear both itsy bitsys and moomoo mamas.
    Jesus did not die on the cross and not finish the job. It wasn’t like ok – Jesus the God Man will die + you have to wear a one piece then God will be satisfied.
    It. Is. Finished. Period!
    I think many would be surprised what my personal stance is on this issue – but it is a personal stance, nothing more. Oh wait, I don’t have a stance.
    It takes a strong person to live this Christian life and hold on to the CORE of the GOSPEL and not let unstance-isms cause them to stumble along the path.
    Feel free to take a stance on my stance about the un-stance. Cheers!

  50. P. Dawson says:

    Whatever anyone does in their life they should always pray and ask God to lead them. God WILL let you know what you should and should not be doing. It’s that simple.

  51. Ryan Dent says:

    I’m 22 and a youth minister in NC. I’d like to know the female stance on here about men’s swim wear as it concerns dressing with modesty. It’s easy for me to post about women’s wear because it’s a huge issue to me. I’d honestly rather just avoid the beach all together and I don’t see myself taking my youth group out to the beach or to a pool. It’s not worth it. But I’d like to know what you see as modest when it comes to men’s wear so I can talk to my guys about it. What men’s swim wear comes across as a temptation to women?

    • Ryan Dent says:

      I don’t see how men’s abs and arms (arms you see regardless and there’s no getting around that for both genders) is a rebuttal to swim wear that literally exposes private areas and the areas most around them. I’m not even referring to women’s arms or stomach. I’m just referring to private areas in general. Is that wrong to separate the two or should all forms of exposure be held to the same standard?

    • Priscilla says:

      As a woman, I feel very embarrassed near a man who has his shirt off. I feel as though I’m seeing something precious that doesn’t belong to me, and I am sad for his wife, or future wife. My husband swims in a sport tee-shirt, and knee-length swimming trunks. I think it’s wonderful and sweet (and other words I’m too shy to say publicly) and feel treasured that he saves his handsomeness for me alone.

  52. Great post! I wish women would where modest swimsuits here around. But good old Europe seems to be lost. What I must see in the summertime when I go to the lake with my girls, annoys me beyond thinking. I do not want to see all that flesh, if I like it or not, it sets some processes in action, which I have to battle afterwards.
    I cannot say how much I appreciate all ladies, that do wear modest clothing, also in the summer heat and on the beach site oder lake site. I deeply love all you girls and women, who help us men from falling into this sin of the flesh!

    Roger

  53. Delighted says:

    Just stumbled upon this link as i was searching for modest swimsuits. Although i’m not Christian (I’m Muslim), i have many friends that are. All i know is that all religions teach modesty to their believers. It’s disheartening to see how far some have come from the innate desire to cover up.

    I was watching a video by Jessica Rey who is an entrepreneur and has done an excellent intro to modest bikinis: just google her name and invention of the bikini. I read this comment by someone that said: ” I have a niece who reminded me of the woman in the song the first time she wore a bikini. She sat on our deck, wrapped in a huge towel, and insisted, “I just need to get used to it.” And I remember telling her that day, 15 years ago, “No, you don’t. You’re not supposed to get used to it. That part of you that is making you uncomfortable is the best part of you and it is begging you not to wear that thing.” I cannot wait to share this with every woman I know.”

    As a religious woman raising my precious little girl, i can relate to this statement completely. I was raised to be modest and eventually chose to cover and be modest as an adult, i believe i dress more modestly than my mother and sisters. My husband fell in love with me because of these choices and I’m glad to say we are happily married for almost 9 years.

    I’m glad i have been able to talk to my daughter about modesty and as Muslims, look at our role model Mary (Peace Be Upon Her).

    I do realize that its very challenging with time as even elementary school children are getting oversexualized.

    Needless to say, i’m glad to see other moms share a similar view of modesty. Regardless of religion, if we are able to raise confident girls, who empower themselves by dressing modestly, be treated with respect and dignity based on their mind set and not their bodies, i would consider it to be a great achievement. Besides, there are places to do the “dressing up” — its with your husband! – like someone mentioned above, dress the way you would like to see me dressed in front of your husband.

    I’m a firm believer than men have to lower their gazes, but no one should make women feel like they are worth something because of their “sexiness”. Judge me for my intellect, not the size of my waist!

    More power to women i say!

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