She Wears Skirts-What Guys Think About Modesty

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This video is a powerful wake up call for women. If we care about our brothers in Christ, we will watch this video, and think about what we are wearing. And it does not stop for men at college. Walking into most churches today will find ladies dressed in skin tight, low cut, mini dresses, which will cause many men to struggle. They might not give in to that struggle, perhaps they are walking in the spirit and are able to look away and avoid the temptation. It becomes extremely difficult though, if not impossible in some instances to minister to women if they dress in such provocative clothing.

(Please note, I do not like the music that can be found briefly on here at the beginning and the end of the video. Other than the music which is short, I think the video is excellent).

Are you just joining us for our modesty series? Part one can be found here.

Comments

  1. Guiding Light says:

    Love this video! I actually just posted it on my blog the other day too…in my post about The "M" Word (aka modesty). Blessings!

  2. Anonymous says:

    My husband, especially as a single young man, found it so hard to go to church because he felt it should be a break for him (from constantly having to watch his eyes), yet he said it was just as hard, or more so than 'out in the world'. So sad! Church should be a place of rest, and renewal.

  3. Redeemed1 says:

    What a powerful video. Thank you for sharing it.

  4. What a great video! I know that as a girl, I have been disgusted by immodest dress on campus (in my college days), but also off campus in places like restaurants, libraries, and yes, even in church. My opinions on modesty and what it means to be modest have changed greatly since I was a teenager and I think this video does a great job laying out what girls and women need to see.

  5. I feel like growing up in the church I have seen to many seasoned christian women not stand up and help guide the young women in the right direction about there dress. They would make shocked faces or even underhand comments but never have I seen them go over and use it as an opportunity to minister to the ladies who obviously didn't understand what they were doing by wearing those clothes. I think that is how we can improve on these things in the church today is use situations like these to be a Titus 2 model for these women and minister to there hearts.

    I might even go so far as to build a relationship with an unmodest woman and go shopping with her. Have her see me pick out my clothing. It might draw her to ask questions about my selections and I can use that as an opportunity to share with her my convictions about modesty. I think this could be a less threatning way to open things up.

  6. Mountain Home Quilts says:

    My heart breaks for these young men who face a struggle such as this each day. I wish there were more women who modeled modesty so that they would be an example to young women. Sadly, even Christian women now a days aren't always a model of modesty.
    This modesty requirement also holds true for married women and older women. I would say especially for them! No married man wants his wife galavanting around looking like a tramp and causing his brother to stumble.
    And while I choose to wear modest clothing that includes dresses and skirts, I do believe that a woman can dress modestly with slacks and a blouse. I wish more women chose to.
    Thank you so very much for doing this series!

  7. Martha A. says:

    I have to say that while I am very strict about my dress and I know that men have bad thoughts about dress and I face challenges on this. But I have issues with people who focus so much on women's dress….I would love to see the follow up sermon on men's minds and how they can not stumble women.

  8. Barbara says:

    I so agree here, I read a book back many years ago called "Your clothes say it for you" and in the book it describes much as you have written here. It is a shame that women think so little of them self as to dress like a common tramp on a street corner. I learned much from that book and the affect women have on men, it is God given, and not to be flaunted easily, so many say well God looks on the inside and the heart, well I say, Man cannot look on the inside or the heart, what he sees is how he can judge you.

  9. Miss Sarah says:

    Thank you so much for posting this! It was such a good reminder and encouragement to me. Sometimes it's not easy to be different, but just knowing that by being different and embracing God's plan for modest femininity, I can in this way help my brothers in Christ makes it so worth it!

  10. Anonymous says:

    What Erin J. said is something to really ponder…how seasoned Christian women could really be a blessing to younger women instead of making the comments or the "tsk,tsk" noises. I had never thought of it that way. As a mom to 3 girls and no boys, I really never think much about a boy's struggle…I only know I insist on modest dress to keep my girls pure and from being looked upon by lustful eyes. I am praying for more direction from the Lord about how to instruct and help my girls and myself to be most pleasing to the Lord and my husband (and my daughter's future husbands).

  11. Caroline says:

    @Martha-I agree that men have need to hold themselves accountable to God and guard their eyes, and need a lot of encouragement and wisdom in how to do so. There does need to be more written to the men. As a woman though, my blog is written solely for other women, and I don't find it my place to write anything directed to men. That's why you won't find me talking about the other side of things. :) Maybe when my husband writes he will touch on the subject.

  12. We actually changed churches because my husband didn't feel like he could open his eyes in the church building without seeing cleavage and a lot of legs.

    But from the other side of things as a mom of boys I know that the way boys dress needs to be modest too. I don't let my boys go outside without shirts on, that's a look at me statement that I just don't find modest. My husband never thought of it that way before he met me, but it's just because so few people talk about how men should be modest as well. Because, lets face it, women do view them as eye candy at times. I just think it's so important to teach both our boys and our girls to be modest.

    I am throughly enjoying this series. Thanks again for taking us through it!

  13. Anonymous says:

    I played this video for my husband. We agreed that it is important for women to dress modestly and that they should not wear clothes that make other stumble. However, my husband pointed out the the video feels like shifts the blame from the man and his struggles to the women and their dress. It almost has a "she was asking for it" kind of message to it that makes him uncomfortable. He admits that all men struggle with this, and agrees that women should dress modestly to avoid leading men to temptation. However, it is still the man's responsibility to control his urges and deal with his struggles.

  14. Prudence Promise says:

    Excellent message. Thank you for saying this better than I ever could.

  15. Prudence Promise says:

    P.S. I put a link to this blog post on my own blog this evening. This message needs to get out.

  16. Martha A. says:

    Caroline, I know! I wasn't talking about you, but this minister. I have seen this video all over and felt the same as another poster like it was shifting the blame over to women, and would feel it needs to be balanced and I was hoping to see a video posted addressing the men!!!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Here is the answer to to the man's question of "why?". Why do women dress immodestly? To get your attention! DUH! Obviously it works because modestly dressed girls are left on the sidelines. If more men would give their attention to modestly dressed ladies then ladies would dress more modestly. It's really simple guys!!

  18. Eowyn's Heir says:

    Not sure why you don't like the music, but maybe you don't know what it's from– it's from a song ("Make War") by the Christian artist FLAME, who is a member at my church and is studying at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is solid as they come; a gifted evangelist, a wonderful teacher, and his songs are deep and full of truth. You can hear a montage of his song with a clip from Pastor John Piper's on spiritual warfare here–
    http://youtu.be/mb_L33QMF40

  19. Eowyn's Heir says:

    (of course if it's simply not your style, that's ok =D I'd just encourage you to give it a try and maybe find yet another channel through which the Lord can bless you!)

  20. Anonymous says:

    I agree that I don't like the music at the beginning & especially at the end. More at the end, because the feeling I received from the video was deep & penetrating to my soul. I needed tranquil music to continue to analyze the beautifully delivered message. The other music didn't fit the feel of the rest of the video.

    I believe strongly in modesty. I am thankful I can dress in a pleasing manner unto myself and still be modest. I do not have to dress in a potato sack or baggy clothing. I do not think the Lord would be pleased to see us dress so. I am diligent at teaching my daughter to dress modestly. We even had fun remaking a barbie dress into a longer more modest version. Many friends told me we should contact Mattel & show them my fashionable modest alteration. Maybe they would begin a more modest line. I am thankful I found your site today and this video. I am now more aware of the struggle my 4 boys will face as they get older. I hope I can be a good influence to them to seek out female companionship who will dress modestly.

  21. Mrs. Mandy says:

    I used to be one of these college girls who strove for attention, after I was raped at 14 it still did not dawn on me and no one told me IN THIS WAY how important this was. How dangerous this particular sin could be. If I knew then what I know now, I understand completely what this video is saying. Many men are weak, yes they should be stronger and responsible but sin sometimes win, why would I or any other women want to encourage that sin. If these women would understand that the attraction they draw from a few men who are strong how much more do they draw from those who are weak and turn from God. That results in what happened to me at 14. When my sons begin bringing female friends around I pray I will be a mentor to them in this area.

    • No matter how you were dressed when you were raped it is NOT your fault. NOTHING you did, or wore would or should have resulted in you being raped. I hope you come to believe that. You did nothing at all that should have resulted in you being raped. It is your attackers fault and responsibility 100%

  22. thank you for sharing you heart on this! I really appreciate it…I have been blessed to have been taught much about seeking God's heart for His view on modesty and recently some guys friends shared this video with a bunch of us. May the Lord bless you! thank you for the encouragement!

  23. The Whatever Girlz says:

    I know this posted awhile ago, but I'm just finding it. I wanted to thank you for posting this video. Wow, what a wake-up call. In my girls group we talk about modestly a lot, but, after watching this I feel like we've just scratched the surface. To hear a guys heart cry on the matter commands more urgency.

    Just wanted to thank you, and I plan to share.

    Blessings,
    Erin

  24. EXCELLENT video. We live on an island with a strong latino influence. Trying to teach our women modesty is so much harder! I’ve seen negligees styles cover up more than what some women wear to church!

  25. My 7yr. old daughter attends public school and has been wearing skirts with leggings all winter. This week, while getting dressed, she asked me why she had to wear skirts all the time when her friends don’t. I explained to her that it was for modesty and tried to describe a bit about how it covers her bottom and all that, but it seemed to be lacking somehow. She understands about not showing “cleavage”, but she doesn’t “get” how having either bottom or chest visible will be distracting to boys,etc. How do you explain modesty to little girls. She has been wearing skirts all her life and is accustomed to it, but now the questions have begun.

  26. Couple things. First, the word for looking lustfully (blepō) in Scripture is speaking to a long, sustained look in which the man is purposely seeking some sort of gain for himself. Admiring beauty is not a bad thing, in fact the admiration of beauty is all over the Scriptures! There is a huge difference between admiring beauty and lust.

    Next, this is not something we need to put on the women in our churches. Men, this is on you. To the contrary of what has been posted here, not all men struggle with this. I don’t struggle with this, and very few men in my church struggle with this. Why? I think it’s because we haven’t demonized it. We all admire beauty, we’ve trusted the Lord with lust, and we see our women as God’s precious creation, not some object to be lusted after. Men, stop blaming other people for your lust, and take responsibility

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