Let’s Admit It – Motherhood Is Messy

I’m a second generation homeschooler. I’ve never been in a classroom and have no intentions of putting my children in private or public school.

But last week I seriously looked up the private schools in my area that I would consider sending one of my children to. At $10,000 a year the answer was a firm no. I think every family has that one child that stretches them and pushes all the buttons as a parent, and last week I was at that breaking point.

I had high hopes of our new house being perfectly clean and beautiful. My children have decided the living room is their favorite place to do school and by the end of the day it’s a royal disaster.

Dirty diapers, mounds of laundry, dishes and more dishes – the life of a mother is busy all the time!

After 14 years of being a mother I’m learning something more and more.

Motherhood is messy. 

It’s intense and truly a battle. It’s harder than many paying jobs but you get no monetary reward.

Most of the time it doesn’t look like the fairy tales, or the lovely visions that Sally Clarkson so elegantly weaves together in her book. Homeschooling is not full of happy children sitting on the couch while mom reads aloud the Charlotte Mason books in a perfectly clean house and then afterwards go on the nature walk and watercolor.

That doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong. 

I feel like I’ve written these posts before on the blog, but I keep hearing of mothers who feel like I do over and over again.

You feel desperately inadequate. You feel like no matter how hard you try, you fall into bed each night feeling defeated, exhausted, and not wanting the next day to come. Because you end each night so discouraged the next day starts late, and the nasty cycle goes on and on.

A scripture verse really stood out to me in Sunday school last week. We were reading in 2 Timothy 3 and one part made me really stop and think.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Those verses made me stop and wonder if our job as parents are more difficult because of the perilous days we live in.

Children can be so very difficult to parent. It can be easy to cast blame on the parent when a child goes astray, but a parent can pour their whole life into raising a child up in the way they should go and they still choose a different path. I’ve witnessed it in my own family, my sister and brother and I were all raised the same but my brother has chosen a very different path than my sister and I.

If you feel defeated as a mother right now, trying to raise that terribly difficult child, stop and consider what things in your family need to change. Do you need to turn off the tv, unplug the gaming systems, evaluate what books they are reading and what friends they have? Or have you done all of that and you still can’t seem to get through to your children?

 

Then it’s time to simply pray and keep pressing on, trying to be the very best mother you can be. Yes, you will lose your temper at times. You will go to bed and know that you could have done better that day. But you also can rest knowing that your child is ultimately in God’s hands, and they have their own agency to do with what they will. You can’t force your 16 year old child to have a walk with God. They have to hunger and thirst after that.

Set rules, be firm on those rules, mother in love, pour into them time and attention but don’t do everything for them, and create an environment in your home that would welcome the Lord to be there. Have a vision of what type of adult you are trying to raise, yet knowing that they have their own vision as well. You can’t force your child to have a personality that is different then the one they have.

I’d love to share some of resources that are encouraging to me as a mother right now below.

https://characterbadges.com/shop/character-badges-complete-set

Character Badges – Some parents desperately need to establish more routine in their home that the child can count on. Character Badges helps the parents train their children in good character and correct the poor behavior. Sean created it when our family needed help years ago, and then made it available for other families. This is good for children ages 3-12. Our youngest is so excited about starting this in the spring when she turns 3!

You can get free shipping in the USA with the code MODESTMOM through Thursday, December 21st.

The Life Giving Home (and anything else by Sally Clarkson) – This book will give you a vision of what a thriving, loving home can look like. I highly recommend it!

Hello Mornings: How to Build A Grace-Filled, Life-Giving Morning Routine – This is a brand new book by Kat Lee and I’m enjoying it so much! I was reading it during cello lessons yesterday and trying not to cry right there in front of my son and his teacher! I honestly haven’t even gotten to the point of how to have a good morning routine. The first few chapters about her journey into motherhood has touched me.

Why Motherhood matters: An Invitation To Purposeful Parenting – Again, I haven’t read all of this book yet, but you should be warned that I did cry ugly tears over part of this book. This one speaks to the heart and it’s very encouraging!

The Intentional Mom’s ToolkitThis is a new resource that I’m loving. Would you like someone else to tell you what meals to make, what your daily scripture reading should be, a home chart checklist (no more thinking up what chores need done each day!), and more? This is a monthly resource that is emailed to you, and I think it’s an excellent idea to help busy moms! It comes with 20 meals and the recipes, a budget page, and family connection ideas.

Blessings on your mothering journey as you press on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flash Sale at Lilla Rose!

Yay! Lilla Rose is doing a Flash sale, which is awesome for those last minute Christmas gifts! Everything is 30% off! 

All orders of $50 or more receive a free Mini Flexi Clip of your choice! Such a great deal! 

Shop the Lilla Rose website here, and don’t forget to find sizing information here.

 

Modest Monday and a Link Up!

Saturday night we had family over to celebrate Sean’s birthday (which is today!) and my sister wanted to run to JCPenny with me. It’s always fun to shop together and it had been awhile since we had been clothes shopping. She was looking for some long cardigan and tunic shirts to wear with jeans so I had fun helping her find some clothes.

Of course I ended up going into a dressing room with clothes to try and and ended up getting the shirt I’m wearing in in the pictures below. Green is not a common color found in my wardrobe and it seemed perfect for December!

This is the X-Small Adora Flexi Clip that is available only in December! I think it’s so pretty, I love the bow and the light weight dangles!

What I Wore

Skirt – Used to be sold at Deborah & Co.

Shirt – Long Sleeve Lace Shirt from JCPenny

Hairband – Victoria Hairband from Lilla Rose

Flexi Clip – Adora X-Small from Lilla Rose

Link Up Time!

Please feel free to share posts about anything concerning being a godly, feminine woman. Topics include: modesty, being a wife, mother, homeschooler, homemaker, cooking, sewing, etc.

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Christmas Surprises Activity Tree!

December is here and I just barely have a plan of what we are doing. We will start our advent readings today and I’m excited about pulling out our Jesse tree and ornaments to use!

This year Sean designed something new to help us create a memorable Christmas season. It’s going to be such a cute addition and help us create new memories! We have it available for all of you as well in Sean’s Etsy store!

Christmas Surprises Activity Tree

We have let the Christmas season fly by without slowing down and actually doing traditions and memories with our children. This Christmas Surprises Activity Tree helps the children count down to Christmas, and also helps you as a mom come up with special things to do with your children.

Don’t be alarmed, these are not all huge activities that take you away from home. But they help you be more proactive in celebrating this very special month as a family.

So how does it work? Using this activity is super simple!

Print the tree and the 25 custom illustrated ornaments out, cut out the ornaments and place them in a bowl, and you’re ready to go!

Every day, allow a child to draw an ornament out of the bowl and place it on the tree. Next, look at the Christmas activities sheet (included) to discover the activity which corresponds to the ornament they selected! They might have chosen the “Make hot cocoa” ornament, the “Sing Christmas carols” ornament, or the “Go on a winter nature walk” ornament. There are 25 different Christmas related activities in all!

Print off the Christmas Tree and tape the back of it together!

Cut out your ornaments. Sean made these ornaments and I think they are so adorable! You can laminate them if you want (I’m going to do that). Put them in a bowl and your child draws one out randomly each day. With our large family we have each child take a turn drawing an ornament.

Each ornament represents an activity that you can do! When they draw an ornament come look at what it says to do. Moms – don’t feel like you have to do every single thing on this list! Some days we will just put up an ornament and other days we will follow through on the idea list.

Here is a tip. Plan ahead for some of these things. Grab a gingerbread kit from the store and keep it tucked away. Make sure you have plenty of white paper and scissors for cutting out paper snowflakes. Keep your favorite Christmas movie saved backed for the day you draw that ornament. Just look through the list and mentally plan on which ones you want to do.

I think it’s going to be a super fun December!!!

You can get the printable Christmas Tree Activity here!